The harsh everyday life of an all-inclusive
I haven't been to Egypt for a long time, five whole years. Yes, and this year was not going to, but it happened.
Infotour is an infotour, but no one canceled the traditional November vacation, and the beloved had to be taken for a walk. Since there are no incomes - only expenses, I had to get into the NZ, postponed for a rainy day, but it may not come (rainy day), and rest is sacred. We wanted to go back to Goa. But it happened differently. Our good friend, respectable wife and excellent hostess (unlike me), whose birthdays we always waited for with bated breath, this time decided to spit on everything and everyone and celebrate our half a century away from family and other friends, that is, together with us in an exotic country. An episode from the cartoon “Vacations in Prostokvashino” immediately came to mind when my mother threw away the ladle and demanded to go to the resort to walk evening dresses. Only now, a friend’s vacation was strictly limited by the time frame.
I always deal with the issues of rest. But this time I was just crazy about no time - I was torn between the accumulated work and reports on the info tour, so I dragged it to the last, and when I finally deigned to come to the travel agency, it turned out that we could only fly to Goa for a week, and this, agree, it's just ridiculous. I had to compromise and limit myself to a week in Egypt. But still something needed to be changed. All three times of my stay in Sharm I was in Nabq, this time I asked for a bay. Again, I had no time to choose the hotel myself, so I completely relied on the travel agency. I was offered the Island view 5 * hotel for one and a half thousand for three. Saving a friend's money, we decided to live together as one Swedish family. I didn’t take a four - to walk like that! But there was a flight from Zaporozhye! I could not bear another trip to Kyiv. Yes, and departures there in the middle of the night. And from Zaporozhye it is very convenient - at half past two in the afternoon, we will just have time to arrive by bus. But when I finally, seizing a moment, got into the reviews, to put it mildly, I was very upset: the reviews about the hotel were one worse than the other. Well, what can you do now?
At first, we didn’t plan to take excursions - we saw almost everything in Egypt, but it’s very dangerous to indulge in the joys of all-inclusive for a whole week, it’s generally contraindicated for me, I’m a very intemperate girl in food and drink (especially in drinking). I remembered that I once dreamed of visiting Jordan, but it was insanely expensive - $ 450 for two days. And now, I heard, there are one-day excursions. We looked at the map where Syria is located - oh, far away! We decided to go. I wrote at the last moment on Friday in a personal to Orbittours with a question about the price of the tour. I did not have time to receive an answer.
The flight was scheduled for Sunday, November 1st. On Saturday we had a lot of things to do and a few places to go. But here, right in the parking lot of the supermarket, our car breaks down. They called a tow truck. Four hundred hryvnia bye-bye. We moved to a service gouging and continued to wander around the city. And I was dressed somewhat frivolously and, apparently, a little cold. I felt some discomfort. All signs of approaching cystitis were present (more precisely, on another part of the body). I haven’t had such a misfortune for a long time, but I remember very well what it is - you won’t wish the enemy, and even on the way! Yes, what is going on! As soon as I get ready to go somewhere, it starts! They jinxed it, right? In a panic, she began to call her friend, part-time doctor. She advised me a bunch of medicines (well, what can you take from her, a doctor is a doctor! ). Well, I didn’t work for a pharmacy! I chose another method of treatment - a hot bath and three liters of beer. First one, then another. Beloved, of course, drank his three liters with me. Only he was not treated, but trained the body before the overloads that all-inclusive entails.
When the course of treatment was already coming to an end, another friend called and asked:
- Have you watched the news?
- Of course not, but what is it?
- The plane from Sharm crashed! Maybe you won't fly?
Being under the influence of the “medicine”, I said that the plane does not fall into the same funnel twice, I am not going to give a thousand bucks, and the threat of cystitis worries me much more now.
After waking up at five in the morning, I realized that the medicine had worked, everything was gone. But when I saw my physiognomy in the mirror, I decided that my kidneys are still sick : )))). We went down to the street, where a car with friends was already waiting for us. We arrived at the bus station five minutes before departure - there was no bus! Beloved went to find out what was the matter. They said that the bus broke down and when it will be - it is not known! That's it, I tell my friend's husband - you got it! Now let's hand over the tickets, and you will take us!
But while we were thinking, the bus did come. We had one suitcase for two plus a backpack, and a friend had a small handbag, but we bought two luggage. As it turned out, there was no need to do this. The driver had already managed to close the trunk and said to take everything to the salon. Tickets, probably, could not be bought either - no one checked them. The bus was one third full. We left at six in the morning with a delay of fifteen minutes. The road to Zaporozhye, 230 km, completely killed, the bus, rattling like a saucepan, overcame in five and a half hours. After driving a little more on the minibus, we finally got to the airport. The last time I was here was in 2009. It looks like nothing has changed since then. I will never forget how a truck brought our things from the plane and unloaded them into a pile, from which we then got our belongings : )))). All the same wretched unheated building. In fact, there was an announcement that for only 30 hryvnias we can get into the VIP room with wi-fi-tea-coffee. Disgrace! But to be honest, I agree to any tiny airport, as long as it is closer to home. Therefore, I was glad about this.
The air carrier UTAIR deceived my hopes to take a suitcase to the cabin - it allowed only 5 kg, and mine weighed 8. At customs, my aunt saw on the screen that I had tweezers and a nail file in my cosmetic bag, which I forgot to put in a suitcase. Told me to throw it out. Well, the nail file is naked, but the tweezers are a pity. Therefore, I put it on the side of the basket for thrown out things, and I myself began to drink some water, which also needs to be thrown away. After finishing her drink, she leaned over to put the bottle down, and at the same time took the tweezers with a light gesture. Ride! Tweezer was saved!
We went to the waiting room. There is a sign on the sideboard - it is forbidden to drink alcohol bought at duty free! Went to the dutik to buy something tasty on the DR. There was Artemovsky Brut Crimean Sect 2009 for 4 euros. They took two bottles for hryvnia at the rate of the National Bank. At the checkout we were asked whether to seal or drink here? So it is written there - no way? And this, he says, is our competitors, and therefore for no reason, but in the waiting room - you can. So, let's go back and get more. But this time they decided to show off and took another brut - French, some kind of baron, or D'Artagnan, or D'Armagnac : ))), but already for 5 euros. But then the question arose - from what to drink? Something this time we thrashed and did not take any container. And you can’t drink in the buffet, and you can’t take out glasses either, but there are no disposable ones there. Well, think about it! Tea, not counts, and not even barons! We drank in turn from the throat - the bugler's position has long been mastered by us. But the champagne was so-so - we did not think that good Artemovsk champagne could cost 4 euros, and good French champagne would hardly cost 5 euros.
The landing has been announced. There was only one bus, so it took us in two or three stages. What row do you think we got on the plane with our Jewish happiness? Of course 32, that is, the last one. We took off 10-15 minutes later than planned. The runway was almost as dead as the Mariupol-Zaporozhye highway. I, of course, sat down by the window, driving my friend away. With her minus six, she wouldn't see much anyway. It was sunny and everything was visible. They flew around the circle of honor around the Crimea. Sighing, I admired my favorite shores. Further it was not interesting. The smell of Mivina lingered. Are they completely out of their minds? Fortunately, there was nothing of the kind in the trays - there was rice and some suspicious meatballs. Quite, in general, a dinner. Tea-coffee, juice-water.
We landed softly. Everything went fairly quickly. While standing in line for immigration cards, I saw 50 hryvnias on the floor in the next empty aisle. I thought that it was not otherwise that my miracle had lost. He's always spilling everything out of his pockets. I called him and showed him. He picked it up and put it in his pocket. No one insisted on a visa, the Sinai stamp rules! Prodilinkal wi-fi. Tried to connect. Three hours received an IP address. Wrote that connected. And there is no internet! Beloved, rummaging through his pockets, said that it was not his money - and there turned out to be two folded fifty dollars. Well, don't throw them back!
On the way from the airport, the bus guide said that now there are new rules, before meeting with the hotel guide, we cannot leave the hotel area so that there are no problems with the police. Our hotel was the first. Unloaded. It was half past seven in the evening. Keys and bracelets were issued immediately. The guy took us by car to the room, we ourselves would not have found it - the territory is large and confusing. We went into the room. Searching and not finding the overhead light, the guy turned on the nightlights. Maybe it was intended that way, so that the state of the room was not immediately visible. It was big enough, with three identical beds, but killed, as written in the reviews. I was already ready for this and did not fall into anyone. I gave the guy a van dollar. And he, a freebie, also asked Alenka for a chocolate bar. Well, I had a couple of pieces just in case. Dala.
After letting the guy go, we went to look at the bathroom. He was also quite large, but also killed. But a full-wall mirror above the washbasin. Having carefully examined the shower cubicle, they were amused in earnest. Its doors were located at the edges, and between them there was a gap into which we could somehow squeeze in with a sweetheart, but my friend could not. But it turned out that the doors just stuck, and somehow they managed to budge.
Let's go to dinner. It was already eight, and dinner until nine. First of all, to the bar. I asked for red wine - but no! Blimey! Well, five! After dinner, I don’t remember what (no ah), we moved to the pool bar. The local bartender did not catch mice at all and created a queue. We are discouraged. God, where did we go! Let's go sleep. The morning is wiser than the evening. It was very quiet. Is the soundproofing good, or are there no neighbors? We fell asleep quickly.
We woke up in the morning neither light nor dawn, thanks to a friend. She is such a restless economy, she can be blown up at four. We, in general, are also larks, but without fanaticism. Beach towels are issued from eight, so we just went to see where the sea is. With a little effort, they found it. Unlike Nabq, here I had to go down the hill a little. The sun had just risen, but we missed the dawn. Nothing, we're not leaving yet! After taking some pictures, we went to breakfast. Since we were among the first to arrive, we managed to snatch a few whole fructines - a small melon and a couple of citrus fruits. Then a stand with fruit was assigned to guard the cook, who, if necessary, cut them. Sparrows, for several years of my absence have become even bolder. While I was sitting alone at the table, one of them brazenly poked pieces of a croissant with a girlfriend of a plate. I tried to push it away with my hand. But having made a semicircle, he returned again! : ))) And there were crows. Those are smarter and funny. But no less impudent.
A meeting with Anex's guide was scheduled for half past eight. A nice local guy in a white slip-on shirt told us how they take care of us and love us, well, just like a father! Now we will fill out some questionnaires, and then we will be able to go without any problems without documents, wherever we please! In these questionnaires, we must indicate the excursions we are planning. Handed out booklets with prices. Jordan 1 day - $320! Fuck yourself! I understand with my mind that this is a divorce of the purest water, but the worm of doubt, nevertheless, sharpens. And my companions even more so. We were given time to think until 12.00. I decide to urgently go to Soho to look for a street travel agency. The square turned out to be literally a stone's throw from the hotel - an undeniable and almost the only, as it seemed to us at that time, its (the hotel's) plus. Beautiful, deserted, interesting. But no agency was found. And anyway, it was still too early, if it had been, it would hardly have worked. Cafes, shops, shops, cafes and many more cool metal sculptures. The only hope left is to find Wi-Fi here and contact Orbitours. We succeeded. Going into the personal, I found a message from her that the cost of the tour is $ 205 and a Sinai visa is enough. Her viber number was there. I called and told the guide about the situation. Larisa confirmed my suspicions about the divorce. Having agreed that we will go on an excursion on Friday and pay already on the bus. Excellent!
When I still had a lot of time at work, I was reading everything on Turpravda, and I came across a topic about theft in Egyptian hotels. The thieves came up with a new way - to leave photocopies of dollars in a safe in exchange for stolen ones. Nobody has stolen anything from our safe before, but this time I decided to play it safe. There were no safes in Shli Lanka and Goa, and we always carried everything of value with us, so we were no strangers. But here we planned to swim together for a long time, so having a girlfriend was very helpful. She doesn't know how to swim, and no matter how much we tried to persuade her to at least try to swim with a mask, she couldn't. It's good that in this hotel there were a couple of meters of sand in the water before the coral began. And there, like seals, some aunts and uncles, as well as little children, hung around. And my friend was quite happy with it. After soaking a friend, we went to the pontoon. We put on masks and plunged into the aquarium, setting ourselves the goal of swimming to the cape that separated our bay from the next one. After swimming a little more than an hour, we returned back.
And a carefree life began, the main, and practically the only problem of which was the question: tou beer or not tou beer? Or would a gin and tonic be better? The bar on the beach was relatively good, there were just a lot of people, and the beer periodically ran out, you had to wait 5-10 minutes. But the guys did their best, did not show off, gave three glasses in one hand, and one was on tap - the other was on the distribution and did not have to wait until they poured. And it was cold!
We decided to dine not in the main restaurant, but in the a la carte restaurant in the evenings. In fact, there are two whole restaurants - fish and oriental. It is located in close proximity to the beach with a beautiful view of the sea and the neighboring Savoy, and the dress code there was very conditional. Pareo was the height of decency, a loincloth was enough for me. I saw one man in a shirt, but no shorts. The assortment there was quite sufficient, there were not many people, since the number of tables is limited. Your own bar. By the way, my dear and I agreed that over the past period (for 5 years of our absence) alcohol has changed significantly, and for the better. At least strong. The tequila smelled like tequila, gin gin, and the whiskey, for some reason, smelled like coconut. But the rum did not smell of anything, surprisingly, but, like everything else, it was soft. Tequila was called "Sombrero", and rum - "Aloha". Whiskey I do not remember what it was called, I remember that it was pinkish in color and had the word "ed" on the label. We've had occasion to drink red rum, but not red whiskey.
In general, we already liked everything here, and we enjoyed life. After the sun began to leave the beach, we went up to the pool above the beach. There was a relax zone where children under 15 are not allowed to enter. A very pleasant place. And the local bar even added ice and lime to drinks. The bartender was part-time DJ and put on a nice relaxing music. And no crowd at the counter!
The sun went down at five, and we went to prepare for dinner, which began at 6. On the site in front of the main restaurant, all sorts of grilled differences were being prepared, for some reason, there was a British flag hanging under which grilled chickens were being prepared. If it was a day of British cuisine, then grilled chicken must be their national dish. The waiters built a tower of fruit, and they wanted to wrap it with a film, but they didn’t have time - the people swept away almost everything, and they removed the rest. I got a big pomegranate. Remember the moment in the movie "It Can't Be", when at the wedding the hands were smearing the already empty vase. This is roughly what it looked like. Red wine appeared in the bar, but it was not in bottles, but, apparently, in tetra packs, because it was poured from some kind of tap. I didn’t like it very much, and I didn’t drink it anymore.
After dinner we went back to Soho. The night square was still prettier than the day one, but now it was crowded. Admire the singing fountains. We went up the escalator to the platform where I found Wi-Fi in the morning. Surprisingly, the speed remained decent, and we were able to communicate normally on Skype with relatives. Let's go home after going through the bar and having a drink before bed.
To be continued.
