Incredible adventures in Vietnam!

14 March 2016 • Travel time: with 14 January 2016 on 01 February 2016

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« Be careful, it's very hot! said a smiling stewardess aboard the Emirates as she handed me a hot, damp towel. Oh yes, our long-awaited trip has begun! There are seven more hours of pure euphoria ahead of flying with one of the best airlines. But to organize such a trip, I had to try a lot and make a lot of efforts) I started to google Vietnam three years ago, right after Thailand. But the ticket prices were not that high, they were unjustified for such a flight distance. I rechecked the prices, probably more than one hundred times. Until one happy evening, the long-awaited miracle happened. I could not believe that the tickets would be sold to me almost twice as cheap as the regular price, so for safety reasons I put a reservation mark on them on the website of a travel agency.

This meant that I could redeem them in the morning with a commission of about $ 10 if something went wrong when buying directly from the air carrier. Actually, thanks to this reinsurance of mine, we flew to Vietnam. The airline office told me with sympathy that there was a mistake in the price and therefore they could not sell them to me. Although the law of consumer rights was on my side, they had a site management and price editing wand, but now they have a problem with the site, and they cannot make changes. One of the managers said that they specifically could not sell, because they knew about the mistake, but if any other travel agency sells, then no one will feel bad about it, since the system will correctly make the payment. The next moment I was flying at full speed to the office of the travel agency until the price was edited. While I was running, a travel agency recruited me myself and sympathetically informed me that I had a mistake in my armor, since the transfer in the emirates was already 23 hours!

But my answer is “I chose it on purpose! ' resolved all issues. The cashier of the travel agency still tried to tell me all the conditions of the tariff. And I assured that I agreed to all the rules and was aware of everything, just write me this ticket as soon as possible. And now the tickets are on hand, we were happy as elephants, and the travel agency was happy with its commission. Ahead of another 10 months of waiting and anticipation of the upcoming trip. But then the situation only worsened. After 4 months, the return flight was canceled, and now the transfer will be 8 hours on a new ticket, I asked to change the flight for another day, but in such a way that the transfer was saved and then the tickets ran out. There was some specific error in the system regarding tickets. Zeroing went, tickets were covered before my eyes. I see how the state went from "Confirmed" to "Unable confirm". The travel agency calls me back and promises that it will solve this issue, the main thing is not to worry.

During the resolution of the issue, the situation worsened even more and I only had canceled tickets in my hands. I tried to break through all the channels how the progress is going. The Dubai office told me that I should not worry, these are the problems of the travel agency, not yours, you will fly anyway. The travel agency said that the director of one airline wrote a letter to the other airlines saying that he did not mind. As a result, in two months the tickets were restored back to working condition, but with a changed return date, but with a saved 23-hour transfer. There are 4 more months ahead. Is it worth talking about how the systems at the airport could not accept our tickets the first time, until the operators manually checked. But it was worth it! Now back on board the Emirates…

On the road

Aboard the Emirates

We have been on the road for a very long time, behind a six-hour flight and a seven-hour layover with a sleep on the armchairs of the Dubai airport. There are still seven hours of flight ahead, we dry our hands with hot towels and study the menu for the day. Flying with the Emirates is so comfortable and joyful that you can just write a separate story about all seven hours of this blissful flight. Our holiday began with this plane. « Nice t-shirt! The stewardess, who was a head taller than me, praised me. Everything was fine until the problem was discovered - the fotik just died. Why, of all the trips, he chose the one where he was most needed remains a mystery. As a result, it turned out to be reanimated in 20 minutes, but all subsequent photos with him were with a random mode. Upon arrival, it was necessary to exchange an invitation for a visa.

By the way, we met the only Ukrainians during the entire trip only at the airport to receive a visa, but unfortunately, they were not good representatives of our country, if anyone watched the movie “Window to Paris”, then we met a typical Gorokhov family. The first couple of days there were three of us, we cooperated with Anya from Moscow by taxi and later met to exchange experiences.

Ho Chi Minh City

Leaving the Airport, Anya asked a logical question, “Where is the air? » The heat at night was real, every cell of the body after the winter in Kyiv literally absorbed the hormones of happiness from the air. By taxi we were driving in a big traffic jam, enjoying the metropolis. Along the roads, everything was decorated with luminous purple flower ornaments. Thoughts in my head were like, “You have to come here! And take a look here! Then there!

» In general, at first, Vietnam was very similar to central India, but without any trash and unsanitary conditions.

We moved into a hotel, which was located a bit in the slums. We hurried to explore the city, it was already about 22, but there were still a lot of plans. After eating delicious Vietnamese food, walking through the central park and the night market, we had to start following our big route without lagging behind.

At one of the hotels, we agreed that we would like to go to the Mekong Delta in the morning, but since it was already night, we exchanged skypes and agreed to call at 06:30 in the morning for confirmation. Then I tried to buy six rambutans at the market, as a result I almost had to drag 6 kilograms, the Vietnamese could not understand what it could be 6, but not 6 kilograms. As a result, with a kilogram of hairy rambutans for $ 1, we went to the hotel to feast on.

On the benches, from time to time, they watched a picture of an elderly European telling something to young local guys sitting around him. Apparently the guys like to listen to foreign stories. We've only been here for a couple of hours, and somehow everything is going on so intensely) On the way to the hotel, we had a test of crossing the road. There were no traffic lights, and the traffic was such that it would not seem enough, and the route of the lanes was probably 10. On the Internet, it was said in this regard that you just need to confidently slowly go. Little believed, but there was no choice. Plunging into this cloud of flying vehicles, we noticed that they were flying around us, as if we were invisible to them, and our presence on the road here did not hover at all. We calmly crossed the road despite the traffic density.

At 6:30 in the morning, it is clear that the Vietnamese, not straining himself, was sleeping without a second thought that he had promised something to someone at night.

I was able to determine his mobile number via Skype and started ringing directly. 10 minutes later they answered me on Skype. The tour is confirmed, now it's just a matter of walking to his hotel. On the way out of our hotel, we came across a castle. There was no one at the reception, and the real quest began - to find a way out. We had about 10 minutes. There are clearly keys somewhere. Dasha began sorting through the lockers, and I began to go through the adjoining rooms. Dasha found a bunch of keys and started searching. I was less fortunate, I found a sitting grandmother under 100 years old, who did not say anything, but only showed an incomprehensible gesture. I understood that my grandmother would obviously be able to help us in this quest, but it remained to learn the Vietnamese language. The keys from the bundle did not fit into any. Grandma fanned herself with a fan, I knew that the fan was somehow connected with the solution, but how? The situation was hopeless. It was possible, of course, to find the hotel number, but since the landline phone was next to us, this would have given nothing.

Luckily the hostess came back from the market and opened us up from the outside.

So, our first day of travel, 9 am, and we are already moving by bus to our first point of the route. Resolved promptly. It’s very good that we managed to do this, because our 17-day itinerary did not take into account the time to buy excursions, in most cases, we will arrive in the city late at night, and early in the morning we should already be on our way to an excursion or a specific city. When Dasha planned it in Kyiv, it was a little dumb, but in fact this is Asia, here no one really cares and does not strain, so that the route was the experience of other Asian countries - without taking into account the time reserve for buying excursions. Initially, I booked 19 days for the trip, of which there will be 17 full days in Vietnam, and planned that we would also visit Laos and Cambodia.

But after many days of heroic compilation of a difficult route by my Dasha, we found out that we also have days back to Vietnam. It turns out that in this country there is not much to see, but it is endless! Ideally, of course, to have 20 days and then you will visit all the tourist and very interesting places in general, but back to back in time.

Mekong Delta

The sun was just beating down on all 35. It was very smearing in the heat, but we are sailing inland, towards mangrove groves, exotic trees with marvelous fruits and narrow streams between the islands. The first days, until we got used to the Vietnamese-English language, we could not understand anything at all what they were saying. Therefore, the speeches of our guide remained a mystery to us. From time to time we were dropped off on different islands where we watched different interesting things.

Here they make coconut sweets by hand, here they feed you with various goodies, and even live music with songs. We plucked Loncon directly from the tree, this is a rather interesting fruit because when you eat it, it seems to be looking at you with its own eye. After the meal, a plate of exotic fruits was brought to us. Here we took a closer look at sapurila, which vaguely resembled a pear with honey hues.

Against the background of all the Chinese and Vietnamese, I felt like Gulliver, especially when I got into the boat and punched a hole in the floor with my foot. The melancholic Vietnamese just waved his hand saying "Forget it. " And indeed, the depth is probably not very deep at this river. A young mangrove ominously made its way along the banks. In the evening we were returned to the hotel. An excellent tour for $10 per person, and even with dancing and lunch.

But here we met for the first time with the dark side of the Vietnamese, the people are quite greedy and are trying to heat up everything without deceit. For example, this tour was of course cool without question, but we paid $15 and a little for another… The guy at the hotel apologized many times, he was surprised, smiled and returned the difference in money.

Unfortunately, the Vietnamese, unlike the Thais and Sri Lankans, not everyone wants you only the best. But about 30 percent were so cool and friendly and sweet that euphoria came in the very first minutes of communication. Basically, these were those who were not connected with making money on services. For example, assistant managers in hotels or store employees who work in the hall.

Some of these good-natured Vietnamese just wanted to hug and kiss, but unfortunately the vast majority sometimes wanted to strangle for trying to fill the price of their services. But this does not affect the class of the trip. Returning from the river, we immediately bought tickets for the bus route. That is, you pay a certain price and for 20 days you can travel on the network bus between the cities you need on the dates you need. Very comfortably. Having met with Anya, discussing how someone's day went, we went to study what was happening with massages. Prices without bargaining started from $ 7 per hour of the whole body. Given the price for a similar massage in Kyiv, I was already jumping for happiness. I wonder what will happen after the auction? After the auction, we lay at $ 4 and got high, but as it turned out, except for Anya, they simply forgot about her))). They have such a trick, they invite you for a massage, and then they look for masters all over the city.

As a result, Anya’s master was somewhere on the road or was just busy with someone else) But again, given that in Kyiv for $ 17 you also have to wait a week in line ...then it’s pretty quick. You leave the massage, and Vietnam becomes even cooler. And what kind of nightlife is going on in Ho Chi Minh City, there are simply no words to unsubscribe. Here the music yells loudly, there are a lot of people on small chairs at a feast, here some fakirs show a show, crowds of drunk tourists move somewhere in different directions under the motley signs of hotels. And all this happens on the roadway where some cars and bikes drive all the time, successfully warming up with cheerful crowds. If in the morning we were charged with energy from the melting sun, then at night from the atmosphere of nightlife. We hung out until 12 at night, then sat on the sleeper bass and hit the road.

But everything is decorously noble, first you take off your shoes, put them in a bag, and then just go to the bus, take your bed.

Dalat

The bus was supposed to drive for eight hours, during which we would have just had a good night's sleep. But the first problem is that the sleeper is designed for the growth of the Vietnamese and not for Gulliver. But we coped with this, and the second problem was that our driver was late for a trip to my mother’s birthday somewhere, and therefore we rushed at such a speed that sometimes there was a bang from overcoming the sound barrier) When the bus stopped near a cafe for a night snack, everyone was given Vietnamese slippers, so as not to bother tourists to put on shoes again. A convenient moment is that all intercity buses and minibuses are equipped with high-quality Wi-Fi, so there is never a dull moment on the bus. After a little rest on the pass, again take off. At five in the morning, shouting “Dalat!

» we were dropped off and the bus flew away, leaving behind only a light path, indicating the transition to hyperspeed. The seven-hour route was covered in 5 hours, which is very good on the one hand, but on the other hand, how can we find a hotel at five in the morning. It was still dark outside at night. A little away from the station, we noticed a minibus rushing along the highway. The driver, noticing us, slammed on the brakes, drove away from us, jumped out of the minibus and ran towards us shouting “Saigon! ”, No, we are just from there. While the driver was running towards us, his minibus also did not waste time simply, and went back without brakes, as if catching up with him. When the driver realized that we were not on the way, he jumped back into his minibus on the move and left. It was a funny story, but in just five minutes my joy ended twice in a row.

At first, in the darkness of the night, I noticed a hole in the middle of the asphalt and at the last moment removed my foot, but could not cope with the momentum. Fell not so much hurt, but how insulting. Having gone about two minutes ahead, I did not notice the second hole. It was already painful and embarrassing at once. Two minutes ago, I was a cheerful eagle in the full dawn of strength, and now, like a shot swan, I was limping in search of a hotel. They say that the Vietnamese wake up at five in the morning. So I declare that at five in the morning they don’t wake up, even in hotels with the inscription 24 - everyone is asleep. The main thing is that there are no bells on the fences. That is, hotel 24, but surrounded by a fence and with closed gates without a call. There was a call at one hotel. After the first call, the light on the first floor turned on, someone looked out the window and left. After the second call, even some grandfather came out and silently looked at us through the fence. What I did not try to explain to my grandfather, the reaction is zero.

Grandfather listened to my story on the topic of how we want to move in, after which he at first meaningfully kept silent, and then after some time continued to be silent. More luck with the next hotel. The call woke up a bunch of staff who were sleeping on the floor at the reception. This is where we settled in. When I lay down on the bed, my legs were simply buzzing with pain after the fall, of course, it was not as offensive as when we flew to the Maldives and in the first hour I managed to enter some kind of ditch so that I was limping until the next evening, but yet. We checked in for $10 for a night and a half. After sleeping, we went to explore the city, though the second time, after 10 minutes we had to return for sunscreen. The city turned out to be interesting in terms of the fact that nature was the same as in Ukraine.

And the forests are mostly coniferous. The sense of exoticism vanished sharply.

I had a fear, what if all these fabulous coasts and tropical mountains of Vietnam are only in the pictures, but in fact it’s really just that Dalat managed to stand out so much. The weather was clear and hot. Unlike five in the morning, now the city has come to life. We went to a cafe to have breakfast and enjoyed one of the delights of Asia - in a restaurant that sells tea, if you order a dish, then tea is brought to you for free. I remember in Hong Kong I really liked it, it was less common here, but still nice. Having refreshed ourselves in a cafe, we further supplemented the impressions with street food. Then we went to tourist information and asked our planned places to mark us on a Google map.

Dalat Golden Valley

We went by taxi with a breeze far beyond the city. The driver was able to explain where we need to, only by showing the mark on the GPS. When they arrived at the place, it turned out that there was nothing on the mark.

The girl from the information service missed by five kilometers. Looking at the driver's face, he didn't expect to see anything there. Just a road, there is a fence nearby, an overgrown lake behind the fence, but this is clearly not what we need. Our Sherlock-Dasha found a way out of the situation. She found a pamphlet in the car with a photo of our place. According to the photo, the driver phoned someone and figured out where to go. It was not the season in Dalat, but the place we were so eager for was also absent from popular tourist routes. As a result, the vast beautiful park is all ours, only ours!

Well, of course, a few Chinese have thought of such a life hack, but I will tell you such wisdom “There are no sights of exotic beauty in Vietnam without the Chinese! » If you come to a certain place and are not sure if it is an attraction, just find the Chinese and be sure that you have arrived at the address.

But that's nothing, that's when they caught up with our boat on oars in Tamkok by a group of two large buses, it was really hard. But this is ahead, so far, that there are only a couple of groups of a couple of people wandering around. In the park there were streams and two lakes and mountains and forests, fountains and waterfalls, a beautiful rainbow from splashing water, a water mill, steps in the form of stumps leading through the river, monks drinking tea in a quiet gazebo and a long path up.

And the pointer is all blue, they say there will be two Vietnamese words in 80 meters. It was impossible not to check. When we barely got to the top, we found out that, apparently, it was the inscription “Nothing at the top! ". But now we know that there is nothing) Beautiful butterflies in the park flew with large wings. There was an open question, how to get back to the city, but fortunately our taxi driver didn’t solve it either.

Having caught a taxi driver who could not understand where we needed even seeing the mark on the map, we tried to portray the cable car to him. This task proved difficult. Our surprise was that always, when it comes to the cable car, it is understood that you have to go up.

And here, just the opposite, we arrived at the beginning, and we are already on top. Yes, and beauty around - mountains covered with foggy forests. Since in Vietnam everything starts to close around 17:00, then on the road we only had the opportunity to go down and immediately return. We decided to discard those sights that are on the other side and went to Crazy House.

This is a very unusual hotel that you can see for money. Walk around the territory and look into the rooms of the guests.

Of course, we would not go, like crowds of other tourists, to an ordinary hotel, there was some peculiarity in this, I can’t even say right away what exactly beckoned him to see it))) Having refreshed ourselves with a fried pie with a banana inside, we went to watch someone then a wedding. There was a desire to party, but we were never invited. Moreover, the bride and groom do not enter the hall until the last guest enters. The city was covered with night and nightlife immediately began to boil, or rather, a feast of an unprecedented scale, it seems that all the Vietnamese who were doing their usual work during the day turned into street food masters.

We feasted notably, I really don’t know what kind of dishes and animals they were, but it seems as if we only did what we ate all evening until night. I especially remember pancakes stuffed with lemon with a glass of lemon milk with ice and spring rolls.

Some woman was brewing curious drinks in pots, seeing our confusion in choosing, she poured all three drinks into a large glass at once. Indeed, it removed the task of a difficult choice from us. Then we also rode the train, which was made of flowers, in the form of a fountain, and generally stood still.

Some of the streets seem to have become pedestrian, as many bikers overcame routes carrying bikes nearby. Then we hung out at the huge Vietnamese night market. We took only two small backpacks with us on the trip, not loaded to the top. To carry there was not much, we had with us the clothes that we had to throw away. Thus, backpacks gradually became lighter. But there was an important point. I threw away my sneakers back in Boryspil, so I should have bought them on the market before we got to the north. The short Vietnamese, looking at the size of my paw, just shrugged.

The city was not ready to meet Gulliver. Eh, a cozy little town, but we must move on. Early in the morning, taking a photo against the backdrop of the local Eiffel Tower, we went to the city about which there are so many rumors and stories - Nha Trang.

Road to Nha Trang

You could fly to this city from Ho Chi Minh City, but because of Dalat, you had to take a bus, as it was on the road. Outside the window were at first rice fields. By the way, their scarecrow for birds is also low, like the Vietnamese, so that it is more realistic. When they started to descend from the mountains, the views were similar to Peru. At that moment we were very glad that we did not take the plane. Like a sip of South America. During the 30-minute stop, everyone rushed to the restaurant for breakfast, we went in the opposite direction to climb the jungle! But the fear that the bus would leave did not let us go far. After wandering along the paths through the thickets, we also visited the restaurant.

Everything there was so appetizing that they also ordered a delicious breakfast. Although everyone had already eaten and boarded the bus, our meal was just beginning. But for the fact that I love Sawaidi's Asian approach, no one takes a steam bath. The bus just waited an extra 10 minutes for our meal. So, after 4 hours of driving we were in Nha Trang. True, as always, they forgot a bag of food on the bus, so I had to return to the bus.

Nha Trang

We had many days here, as many as 5. “The embankment of Nha Trang is similar to Tel Aviv” it is immediately clear that the blogger has never been to Israel. This embankment is something special. Wonderful trees, a long sandy beach with mountain panoramas comparable only to Copacabana in Rio, and in the distance an island with huge letters Vinpearl flaunts, wait a bit Vinpearland, soon we will get to you) After touching the warm winter water, I really wanted to swim in it.

But we didn’t have time for this at all, it’s already 12 am, and the list of places to visit our five-day Nha Trang is just bursting at the seams. Saying hello and goodbye to the sea, we went deep into the city. Stopping at the crossroads, we noticed the Baskin Robins Wi-Fi network, great, over a cup of ice cream, we will plan the priorities of the route. We started with the Ponagar temple complex.

Ponagar

The complex looked very picturesque on the river bank of a big city. When you enter its territory, some kind of harmony immediately sets in and you feel estrangement from the city, as if you are already in some other place. You can visit the temples in long clothes, or dressed on top of special clothes, which are issued on the territory of the complex for free. The territory itself is not big, about 20 minutes to see everything.

A nice addition is live music and folk dances with pots on their heads, which take place once in a while. Moreover, the more money you throw into the pot standing on the ground, the wider the dancers begin to smile. Some guys threw so often that I was seriously worried that the face of the dancer would not crack.

And behind the walls of the complex, panoramas of the metropolis are visible, since the temples are located a little on a hill. And I remember there was such a surge of joy that we can finally relax with moving, as we still have many days in Nha Trang.

Tha Ba mud baths and mineral springs

According to the signs, it should not be far from the temples. The sign said, they say, go two kilometers to those yards. After 5 minutes of walking through narrow courtyards, even the GPS was powerless to help us.

An elderly Vietnamese woman sold grilled cheese on sticks, which schoolgirls successfully dined on. They just acted as translators, since my grandmother could not explain the price to us on her fingers. But it is understandable, because my grandmother had 5995 fingers less than the price on her hand. We paid 6.000 VND (7 UAH) each. And then they saw a sign on the wall with a bunch of letters and the number 5. That's how the schoolgirl's knowledge of the language helped her earn 2.000 dong. For us, not knowledge just cost us minus 2.000. We literally barely got out of the yard labyrinths. Then there was a sign saying another 80 meters. And after 80 meters there is another sign 2.2 km. What kind of Vietnamese fellows, they thought of making a pointer to a pointer. In general, we went to the baths for so long that we really really needed them. If I'm not mistaken, a set of procedures cost 340.000 ($15) per person.

Stage One - 5 minutes under the shower from which mineral brackish hot water flows under good pressure. Unfortunately, our fotik also partially participated in this stage. But unlike us, the thermal waters did not help him.

Stage Two - 30 minutes of soaking in a mud bath at room temperature. Moreover, if your karma is not pure, then you will be put in the same bath with screaming Chinese. Since our karma was not entirely cloudy, the Chinese were put in the next bathroom, but also not very far away.

Stage three - bask in the sun to dry the dirt. But since the sun had already gone behind the mountains, the stage had to be skipped.

Phase four - again thermal shower from the first stage.

Stage Five - It was already hard here. You go into a passage between rocky walls from which very thin jets of water beat for 5 minutes. And with such pressure that you can not resist the pain on the spot. You start to dance.

After 4 minutes, this hellish wash ends, and you come out covered in red stripes on your body.

Stage SixAre you scared? No, it's just relaxation. Thermal bath +38~~097~~ degrees for 20 minutes. And I remind you what can happen to those who have a sin. The Chinese don't sleep. They have the same program.

Stage Seven - Enjoy under the thermal waterfall.

Stage Eight- large, warm, thermal pool.

Stage Nine - you sob that everything ends someday.

Evening walk in Nha Trang

We decided to take a taxi back, as we did not want to repeat that trick according to the signs. The taxi driver was told to take us back to Ponagar, as we spotted interesting bridges nearby. The taxi driver silently drove us to the complex, and then he was “very surprised” that the complex was closed, and hurried to clarify where to go next.

Well, of course, the taxi driver who travels every day between the complex and the baths does not know that the complex does not work in the evening, why warn tourists. At what surprise, the taxi driver obviously rehearsed in front of the mirror for more than one hour. But since we didn’t need to go to the Temples, the taxi driver simply drove on himself with reduced karma.

Their bridges are beautiful, and in general it is a crime to be in Vietnam and not walk on foot, unless, of course, you are sawing in the baths. Our attention was drawn to a Korean restaurant under the bridge. And getting there wasn't easy at all. They obviously did not expect to see visitors there. There were relatively expensive dishes on the menu, but they looked impressive. At first they chose one, but the waiter who did not speak English was able to convince us that this is for Koreans, take another. Now I'm wondering, was there a dog under the sauce or something? We chose another (250.000 = $11.5). We were brought many small plates of snacks.

At first there was a fear that this is our dish. But then they bring us a large pot with the main course, in which there is a lot of raw meat and other goodies, put on a special burner on our table. Moreover, they assure that meat and everything else can be eaten right now.

We preferred to cook first. We could only ask for bread by showing a photo on a tablet. The dish turned out to be as sharp as a samurai sword. It was necessary to drink a lot of beer at the same time in order to extinguish this fire in the mouth; ) Dasha, unfortunately, could not enjoy it so well, but I took my soul to the fullest. In this restaurant, not only was English difficult, but sign language did not work here at all. Taking the bill and showing a credit card, the waiter nodded understandingly and immediately brought me another card, but a business one. And with a sense of mission accomplished, she left.

Yes, my mastercard was a fiasco, it was impossible to pay even in restaurants where the sponsor's label, MasterCard, was proudly engraved on the bill book. We had the top three meals in Vietnam. This one was in second place, although it was in the lead almost to the very end of the trip.

In the evening, street food began to be sold everywhere. So, the trip home was accompanied by constant snacking. We even wandered onto some island that was occupied by a luxury hotel. We wandered a little among the modest charm of the bourgeoisie and went on.

Geocaching

In the Canary Islands, we found 11 treasures, one of which contained a figurine of a traveler in the form of a groom who had flown there from Denmark.

We brought it to Nha Trang, where a container treasure was hidden right on the map. Since it was night, and the treasure was hidden in a lined bonsai near a residential building, its search was rather complicated.

To make matters worse, there was a group of tea-drinking policemen who were relaxing sitting on chairs about five meters from the treasure. At first, with the police in the middle of the night, rummaging through the territory of someone else's house was somehow awkward. But our search was in vain, the treasure was well hidden. After about 10 minutes, a policewoman came up to us and handed us a powerful police flashlight. Oh, so much better. With a flashlight, the search became more productive, and soon we had the black box. A group of policemen looked on approvingly as we found the treasure. I understand that they have already cut through the topic for a long time and they had a reality show evening entertainment. I had to check in, but there was no pen, another policeman happily lent me a pen. Saying goodbye to the groom, who stayed with us for a month and a half, we went to look for a massage therapist.

In one alley, just 80.000 ($3.8) costs an hour. True, they forgot about Dasha there for 20 minutes, but this is so in Vietnamese.

But the man counted all the bones for me. While I was waiting for Dasha, they poured me a cup of tea, although I later found out that everyone is pouring into this cup in turn, and the cup has not been washed for probably 40 years ...But on the other hand, I became closer to the Vietnamese. Oh, and it's been a day! Everything, now just sleep, and not another 40 minutes on foot to the hotel and sleep. Tomorrow we will conquer the whole island.

Winperland

Vinpearl is an amusement park located on Vinpearl Island. You can get to the island by riding the longest cable car over the sea. This pleasure costs 60.000 ($ 27) per person. You pay only for the ticket, the road and all the entertainment are unlimited and free, only you will have to fork out for food. You need to come there by the opening at 09:00 and hang out until the very closing of 21:00 - 22:00, there will be enough entertainment there.

You can, of course, leave at any time, but this was done only by package tourists who had limited time. In the beginning, when you arrive on the island, you are a little lost where to start and what to do first. As it turned out later, it was necessary to immediately run to the bobsleigh, as there would be queues for an hour and a half. But we didn’t know this, but it’s not comme il faut to stand for the sake of bobsleigh for an hour and a half) Although, talking with people, it seemed that we were the only ones on the island who didn’t stand in that queue at least twice))) When we once again decided to check , whether the queue had resolved, the girl from the queue shared her experience: “We stood for an hour forty, went down in a couple of minutes. Liked. And now we decided - well, what else one more time? ! » Moreover, this is also not the season, it is considered that it will be interesting in the season.

We started with a roller coaster and a fall ride.

The slides at first seemed harmless, until some Chinese woman who participated in the race in front of us did not get sick at all. For our group, this significantly added adrenaline, but everything turned out to be not so scary. A costume parade on stilts was held in the central square. In the meantime, we were hard at work saving the Thai village from the invasion of spiders and killer frogs. It was a big room with slot machines. Moreover, the popular air hockey was not in great demand here. Having thrown balls into baskets, and having protected the garden from gophers, and the Chinese construction site from samurai with glasses, we went to the aquarium for a mermaid show. What I never thought was that I would see live mermaids.

Mermaids swam gracefully in a large area behind glass, gracefully developing their tails. From time to time they surfaced somewhere up, most likely they were given a fish for a good trick.

Then there was a walk through a transparent tunnel, behind the walls of which fish swam, by the look of which it was clear that they were not averse to feasting on people. There were also terrariums with all kinds of living creatures and toilet areas that smelled of cinnamon, and open buds in small vases floated near the washbasins.

With food on the island, of course, one more thing was strained, it was mostly pizza and hot dogs at a price of 6.000 ($ 2.7). But there's nothing you can do about it now. But thanks, at least not rice) Then we had to “change costumes”, because the water park is on! After the Canarian Siampark, it was already difficult to surprise us, but it's always a joy to plop on the hills without queues. The only thing is that they are very simple guys with security. And looking at the departures from some slides, a sense of security developed.

Moreover, there was a problem with safety even at the popular Lazy river attraction, where all that is required of you is to slowly slowly swim in a circle along an artificial river that runs in a circle through the entire water park. Even there, we saw such a powerful collision of someone's head and an iron pillar that the guy will never want to get off the circle in the wrong place again. From the water park there was access to a cozy beach. There were even more comfortable jet skis. Unfortunately, not free, but nevertheless, for 60.000 ($27.15 minutes, you could fly so that there was a hum in your ears for a long time. The main thing is that when Dasha was driving, everything was fine, but when I was, it was like shouting “Get me out! ” ". Then we returned to our favorite playing area, where Dasha heroically rode a horse, and I almost took first place on the board until Dasha helped)

Then I also climbed some house as a Chinese yamakashi.

The next on the program was the dolphin show, but it did not coincide with the official schedule a bit, and we did not get to it. After seeing a bright sunset, we went to the castle for a 4D cinema with three screens. Moreover, the effects were the most unexpected, sometimes everyone screamed out of surprise) It was getting darker and darker on the streets of the island, which meant that the main guest of the program, the musical fountain, was already very close.

To be honest, I didn't know about its presence in Vietnam even at the moment when I went to the island. And so the show began. I will not describe what we saw there, but I will say this, on this trip we will still have a spree in the emirates, and there will be an opportunity to compare it with the world famous fountain. Before the emirates themselves, we were quite skeptical that there would be something better.

So, in the end, it wasn’t better, in the emirates it’s completely different there due to the prevailing atmosphere, but if you specifically compare the fountains themselves, then you will never forget the Vietnamese show. For about 30 minutes you just sit with your mouth open. Moreover, when the fountain began to dance to the Russian kalinka-malinka, in the hall it was possible to clearly determine who was from Russia by the faces sobbing with happiness. As for me, the classic was more effective. It was a real masterpiece, the fountain to which everyone clapped!

It was already 21:00 on the clock, but how could it be, because just a couple of hours ago it was still 09:00. But I had to leave the island. In the cable cars there was a speech inviting you to revisit, but there are still so many places in the world to visit.

On the way back to the hotel, we went to have a bite to eat in turn at two local cafes.

In one, Dasha ate "The most delicious Pho Bo" for 4.

000 ($2) is their really delicious soup with rice noodles, beef, lots of tropical greens and often served with a plate full of even more greens. Not a single restaurant in Vietnam had a tasteless Pho Bo.

People seem to take its preparation very seriously. And I ordered a fish platter with rice for 4.000 ($1.8) in the second cafe. True, my dish looked a little dumb in terms of freshness, but this time everything worked out. Now we will buy an excursion for tomorrow and sleep. Our guide sympathetically informed us that tomorrow there would be no excursion to the Southern Islands with a Russian group, only in a mixed one without Russians. To whom sympathy, and to whom joy. What a joke to go to another country to hang out among the Russian-speaking population, but for some this is apparently a great happiness. Like for that grandmother with her granddaughter who eats borscht, and the child makes dumplings. Why go anywhere at all?

Sit at home: and you will have borscht and even a Russian-speaking population. But the most interesting thing that happens to Russians in Russian groups, we found out a little later, when on another excursion we met with the guys, those who went to the Southern Islands with a Russian group. But I'll talk about that later. So, and now, in fact, what we expected from exotic Vietnam!

Nha Trang South Islands

This pleasure cost $13 per person including entrances. At 09:00 a bus picked us up and took us to the pier. From there, our sea adventures began. No one spoke Russian except us, and everyone was eager to take pictures with us. Rather, at first everyone took a selfie with a sleeping Chinese woman, and only then with us. The atmosphere was very friendly. The first was an island with a name I don't remember.

Island with I don't remember what name

We were all given a box with free snorkels and masks, and the guide even personally gave me his personal swim, as he apparently saw enthusiasm in his eyes. Better than Egypt and the Maldives, of course, there are no corals with fish, but it's still nice to plunge into this underwater world. And in general, it's all so exotic there. Wherever you look, everywhere pleases the eye. But all that beauty is still indescribable. 2 hours flew by like 5 minutes. The island is highly recommended for visiting, as a landmark, there was a letter "U" in its name.

On the ship, we were already waiting for a covered buffet with many dishes of national cuisine.

Moreover, the tourists were very worried that Dasha and I would get all the best and more. It was very nice that the Asians are so happy to see us. « Eat Fish! ” the Korean told me, putting a large piece of chicken on my plate. And when Dasha reached for a bowl, in which there was already little rice, they handed her a whole "basin" with rice.

Asians literally shone rays of warmth and hospitality in our direction, but we reciprocated, despite the fact that there was no knowledge of a common language between us. The next on the program was quite interesting entertainment. Somewhere in the sea, the ships with all the mixed groups moored to each other and an entertaining musical program began. A guy in a coconut bra just burned out playing local hits.

Then he began to randomly ask tourists who was from where, called to the center and began to sing famous songs in their languages. Everything went very well for him, first there were the Germans, then the Swedes, then the Koreans, then the Chinese, and then there was an awkward silence when he came across two Ukrainians. It looks like he didn’t even hear such a country. Although he had to move on to the next tourist, our entire ship, led by the Chinese and Koreans, simply exploded with applause in our direction.

Everyone wanted to hear a Ukrainian folk song, but it's a pity the guide didn't know anything to sing with us. After the show, the audience was very warmed up, and the sociable atmosphere grew into something more and incendiary. After the man with coconuts, something completely unthinkable began, as they say abroad “New experience! ". In a lifebuoy with a bar attached, a bartender floated out into the sea. Then everyone had to jump from the top of the ship to the water, take a life buoy and swim to the bartender, who was pouring cold rum with juice.

Due to the rigid lifeline, everyone got, as it were, their own table, on which they could put a glass. The crowd was divided into those who simply descended into the water and those who climbed to the very top. An Asian woman immediately grabbed Dasha by the hand, handed me an iPhone on a selfie stick and ran upstairs with Dasha, who planned to enter the entrance from below.

When they came to the edge, the woman remembered that she was afraid of heights and only Dasha jumped in the end. Putting the iPhone under our things, I rushed to the top. And just then the spiderman took my camera out of my hands. And where the spiderman suddenly appeared on the ship is a mystery. But now I have a photo with me in flight. Enraged in the water, everyone returned to their ships. Then everyone had the task of finding their cameras and mobile phones, which went from hand to hand for taking pictures. Moreover, our fotik was already given to me by some woman, not a spider. The ships moored and we sailed to the next island, the name of which I also successfully forgot.

And again exotic and beauty. By the way, the show on boats is held only for excursions of mixed groups, not for Russians. Relaxation has come again. After the Kyiv winter, it was still impossible to enjoy the sun to the fullest, my face was already burned from the sun.

Near the pagoda there was a school where a standard Vietnamese lesson was held - the teacher speaks and the children repeat in chorus.

One of the entertainments abroad is visiting some thread of a large grocery market. It's always interesting. We went to the BigC mall and also had dinner there at Loteria. This was our biggest mistake of the trip. Firstly, the portions were expensive and small, but not so much the size of the problem, but how this dinner turned out for us. After an hour of foot massage for dessert, we bought a brushed broomstick. I remember I washed it under the tap for every fireman. I still distinctly remember how I washed my hands in Loteria for the second time for every fireman. But unfortunately, all these precautions did not help us.

Dayfall

First, we found two gecko lizards in the room. In a panic, not knowing whether it threatens with something or not, we woke up the hostess.

When she was shown the gecko behind the closet, she waved her hand and said something cheerfully encouraging in Vietnamese. And she hurried out of the room. On the Internet, the reviews went completely different, starting from how cool that “There will be no flies! Don’t chase him away, ” then someone complained that his gecko had bitten his finger painfully. And someone complained that they screamed so much that it was impossible to sleep, and then our geckos yelled demonstratively. The sound was like our closet was trying to fly out of the room through the ceiling. But that was not the biggest problem of the night.

At two o'clock in the morning, Dasha became very ill, and the primary symptom was this - an anxious dream, then a spasm in the stomach. I felt my best, except for one problem - I understood that I didn’t have long to rejoice, because I, too, had just had a nightmare.

With a little hope, I went to bed, but when I woke up an hour later from a severe spasm, I realized that a serious adjustment would have to be made to our travel plan. The biggest problem was in the already purchased excursion to the Northern Islands. Early in the morning Dasha was able to more or less get to her feet and even go to the Pineapple tour and agree to reschedule the trip. I couldn't even get out of bed. Fortunately, the wife took good care of the first aid kit with her. The most annoying thing is that if you turn to some kind of insurance, you will be hospitalized and then your travel plans may be completely covered. All the sadness of what was happening was further exacerbated by the fact that I noticed an error in the date of the return flight from Hanoi to Ho Chi Minh City. We have in the north of Vietnam, at the end of the trip there could be two more days, which with a high degree of probability will be very necessary. Fortunately, tickets cost only $45 for two, against the background of all the costs, this is not so much, but it's still a shame.

Only the cleaned pomelo remains under suspicion, which, as you know, must be eaten personally by cleaning each slice. As a result, these are not dirty hands of the seller. In general, the mystery of what it was remained behind the curtain. But we know one of the most important mistakes that we made during all our travels in Asia - that day we did not eat anything spicy, we did not add chili sauce to the dish anywhere. Since that day, we have accompanied absolutely every meal with this life-saving sauce. There was no confidence in the forces for tomorrow, so the northern islands had to be moved another day. For tomorrow we have planned something no less exotic and beautiful, if we have the strength.

Zoklet Beach

In a travel agency, a Russian man argued that visiting this beach on his own is much more expensive than his tour for 96.000 ($44).

When I asked him to justify, he even took out a calculator, but with his maximum calculations and tricks, he did not add more than 20.000 ($ 19), and as a result, an independent visit to the beach for two would cost 9.000 ($ 4.5).

Since we felt relatively confident in the morning, we decided to go to the provinces for Nha Trang. On the city bus number 3, in two hours we drove for 2.000 ($ 1) per person to Zoklet beach. The road was colorful and exotic. Moreover, we were somehow so far away from the sea that we could not believe that there would be a beach here now. On the bus, a romantic scene was observed as a young conductor flirted with, apparently, a familiar girl. It was very sweet, because they were really cute. Even on the way, our bus managed to ram the car in front, but will the Vietnamese be tense about such trifles? Not! We just moved on.

They say that the entrance to the beach is paid, but we didn’t find something for whom and for what to pay, given that the beach is no one’s. If you ask us what was the most beautiful thing in Vietnam, then I think it’s clear from the photos. Although this opinion was at the time, there were still breathtaking views of Sapa and the unsurpassed Ninh Binh ahead of us. But at that time, Zoklet was considered the most beautiful in our trip. It was more beautiful only in the Maldives, if we compare this particular type of natural phenomena. Although the heat was 35 degrees, it was somehow lazy to swim. I think we were the first who found ourselves in the most ideal weather on Zoklet, but we never bought.

We just walked along the sand into the endless distance. Once in a while, the warm crests of the waves wrapped around the legs, and then some transparent living creature joined the legs, which set off with the next wave.

Life was seething in the white sand, all the shells crawled somewhere about their business in different directions. Ships and small boats could be seen in the distance along the embankment. And we all continued to lazily wander. Moreover, at times palm groves ended and pine forests began. It was quite strange to see pine trees in such an exotic place. Overflowing with exotic impressions, although you really don’t see enough of these views, we turned into the streets of the adjacent village and went in search of some kind of bikes or taxis to get to the waterfalls, which are located somewhere far away in another province. There was a large-scale hotel in the village, to which we turned. The hotel did not speak much English, but they were happy to help us in any matter. To begin with, they sent us to the terrace: tea, coffee, condensed milk, bananas and other goodies at our disposal.

And, apparently, for free.

True, I had big doubts about the English girlfriend, it seemed to me that I just understood Vietnamese faster than she said something intelligible in English. But since everyone understood each other, great! Then to the waterfalls!

Ba Ho Waterfalls

We walked along the rice fields for a long time and painfully, and the most important question is how long to go? They didn't even speak Vietnamese in this village. Attempts to negotiate a lease on a bike or bike ended in nothing. And the sun seemed to be burning on all 40. Of course, if we knew how to drive a bike and were not afraid of risks, then all previous and many future routes would be much easier. But nevertheless, that's exactly what we did. In one of the houses on the porch, the whole family and two bikes were sitting.

Since the road is straight and no one rides, it was just right to try my hand at a bike by going into their yard, all my attempts to explain that I want to rent a bike from them ended in understanding silence and smiles. And the most difficult thing is that it is not clear how much more to go, what if two days? )

I do not argue, dense rice fields are very beautiful, but we did not come here for this. Soon there was a small crossroads. On which we met English-speaking tourists. Yeah, after 30 minutes of painful walking, another 2 km, and then waterfalls. It was necessary to decide something, the sun was very cruel and 2 kilometers seemed insurmountable, after the poisoning we had not yet gained strength to the fullest. Near the crossroads there was a small shop with benches. A Vietnamese guy was sitting on a bench, relaxing, and next to him were two bicycles. We offered the guy to rent us a bike.

The Vietnamese speaking only his native language quickly realized what was happening. First he pointed to the bikes, then to himself, then to us, he extended his hand towards the waterfalls. I nodded Yes, he showed a negative hand gesture and made the sound of a bike imitating how he starts it. I nodded, he waved so that we would not go anywhere and ran away. In general, the negative gesture of the Vietnamese is more like a fragment of a Georgian dance. At first, we could not understand what kind of gesture it was when we saw it in various situations. It looks like a Vietnamese screwing a light bulb into a cartridge with one hand at the level of his ear. And in the meantime, while I was telling you about the commonality between Georgian art and Vietnam, our guy returned on a bike. And now the three of us are rushing with the breeze along the humpbacked road. The guy turned out to be very talkative, but he could only speak to us with gestures.

After five minutes of climbing into some unreal mountain through the forests, we were completely alarmed by the fact that the big arrows all the time point in the opposite direction, and there are no kag be waterfalls. Through the thickets of the forest, we saw that in the distance, through the cliff, there are waterfalls and arrows in the right direction. Everything was simple here - the guy either made a mistake, or spent too much time communicating with the Vietnamese. I had to return. And halfway through, they decided to cut off and began to make their way down the abyss, so that later they could climb to the top of the other bank. On the way there was the main obstacle - a high-speed deep river with rapids. Some climbing over the stones, we still overcame the river and even dry, but although from the heat, still wet, we were already standing on the other side. But with the right arrows. Further, I had to perform stunt sketches in order to climb up.

In general, the distances between the waterfalls are not large, but the heights to climb are sufficient. The waterfalls have insanely beautiful water and pilling fish. True, by the evening they were apparently not hungry and did not provide peeling services. But the color of the water - dull turquoise - simply enchanted. This waterfall complex was similar to the Erawan waterfall in Thailand. Having bought at the second level of the waterfall, we climbed to the third. When we stood at the very top, we felt very proud as for people who have not yet completely recovered from the poisoning. Now it was possible to buy plenty. Nearby was a path to a dense forest, with arrows leading back. From there, another Russian-speaking guy with a girl just came out and was very happy that he finally saw the waterfall. The guy asked if there would be two more waterfalls further. And he was very surprised that they passed the waterfalls, but on the wrong road.

Having approached the highway itself, we jumped into some kind of illegal minibus. It seemed illegal to me because, as soon as we sat down, the driver immediately hid the Nha Trang sign, as there was a police station ahead. After such a busy day, an hour foot massage is a must, and even 20 minutes of a massage chair as a gift, while they are doing the massage, and even $ 4 per person, just gorgeous.

A Vietnamese presenter was telling something very impressive on TV, and behind him a cyclone was moving intensively on the map of Indochina. Moreover, the north was already clearly starting to suffer. Moreover, the presenter clearly said this not without excitement in his voice. It’s good for us, we have 35, but a small problem, in just 4 days we will be at the northernmost point of the country. And another problem is that Indochina is the part of Asia that included Vietnam and some other countries. Google hinted to us - do not bother! But some cyclone will not interfere with us.

That's it, sleepies, before the next portion of the exotic, you need to get a good night's sleep.

Nha Trang Northern Islands

Fortunately, this is not the north to which the cyclone is moving, the sun just continues to burn here, although according to the forecast it is the last day. Boat, mixed group and friendly atmosphere. This time there were even two Russian guys on the boat who were yesterday with a Russian group in the southern islands and told us a story.

Russian version of the Southern Islands of Nha Trang and other adventures of wonderful guys

If we were in complete ecstasy from the southern islands, then the shock of the guys will not soon pass. The Russian guide, who could not tell anything because “Yes, I am here only for the second time!

”And when masks with snorkels were issued, some of the masks were hidden and extorted from Russian tourists to pay for these masks, otherwise they would not be taken back from the island, and the guide, who was only the second time helping the Vietnamese to knock down money for masks from tourists. It almost came to a fight. This was the only way to avoid paying for the Lost Masks. As a result, they were simply taken to two islands without any animation with a water bar and dancing, and almost scammed for money. However, for the guys it was not the biggest problem with the divorce. In the early days, they shelled out about $300 for various purchases. They were especially outraged at how much the fruit was sold to them for. Somehow the cycle rickshaws persuaded them to ride to the hotel, at the hotel, as usual, the price turned out to be much higher than agreed. The owners of the bikes followed them right inside the hotel and started to beat down the money.

Fleeing from the “racket”, the guys turned to the reception, to which they received an answer, “And how can we help you, figure it out yourself! ” » It looks like an expensive four-star hotel is a bit out of the picture. I imagine if someone followed us, then the hostel would simply send these breeders away. Hostels and guesthouses value their reputation very much. We were very sympathetic to the guys, it is very vile to deceive a tourist. But my personal opinion is that their problem was that, unlike us, they began to speak Russian and from the outside looked like wallets with money in Nha Trang, this is the only city where the Vietnamese learned Russian, and it’s obviously not easy out of curiosity. But now the guys were with us in a mixed group and could relax to the fullest.

Island of Orchids, Deer and something else

It was a peninsula and radically different from the southern ones. Here all the beauty was inside.

Beautiful parks with ponds and rivers and lots of entertainment. While we were walking, one of our guides came up and gave Dasha a free flyer for riding an ostrich (regular price 4.000 = $1.9). So we started with the ostrich. We went into a large enclosure with bamboo groves in the center. Ostriches walked proudly around and looked at everyone with a stern look. A ladder was moved up to the ostrich, and Dasha climbed on it. I took out a camera, but the trainer said that there would be time to take pictures later. It all started harmlessly, the ostrich began to run with a light jog, only in the program he should not have jogging. As it turned out, the ostrich had been planning this escape for 5 years.

When the ostrich picked up some unrealistic speed, and two trainers helplessly ran after him in the distance, I realized that the situation was out of control. Their faces looked unsure.

While the ostrich was rushing in a straight line, everything was more or less not so scary, but when he went around the turn at full speed and disappeared behind the thickets, I somehow felt tense. After a moment, an empty ostrich jumped out from the other side. A second later, another one jumped out with Dasha. Only Dasha was no longer riding like a cowboy, but like a picador at a rodeo. The ostrich continued to gain its nominal 70 km per hour. Two trainers rushed to cut. And Dasha has hysterical laughter. When the ostrich was intercepted, we could not stop laughing for a long time. The trainer will now clearly have a problem with gray hair. Meanwhile, another girl rode the second ostrich, it turns out that according to the program, the ostrich had to slowly go around the circle with the trainer and stop for pictures. Fortunately, we got a higher program with unforgettable impressions.

Next we had a bear show.

While the bears were showing their tricks, Mr. Elephant knocked on Dasha's back with his trunk. Its owner thrust cucumbers into Dasha so that she would treat the elephant. While we were enjoying the elephant, the trainer suggested the next trick. Let's you ride an elephant after the show, it costs 30.000 ($23) for two at a fixed price. Somehow, we started to freeze, not sure, because we had already skated in Tae once. But then he made an offer more interesting, he would need a volunteer from the audience for the show, and Dasha is quite suitable for this role, and in return we will then ride out of turn on his elephant. There was no way to refuse. On the show, the elephant did various tricks and then he calls Dasha.

An elephant picks up Dasha with its trunk, climbs onto a small podium where only its four paws can fit, and starts spinning in a circle. The excitement was still the same. The audience was no less delighted, because they pulled out their favorite Ukrainians, no less exotic than an elephant!

After the show, skating was waiting for us, and after that - a naturally exotic lunch. All dishes were national and served very effectively. One of the dishes was ostrich meat, probably, he was guilty not long ago for something. There were a lot of goodies and a bottle of local wine. But somehow they put her closer to me, and for some reason we came across non-drinking Chinese. The Russian guy took out rum, but his rum turned out to be a little weaker in degree than wine, but the wine was very rich and we were sailing somewhere. Everything is so beautiful outside the windows, a couple of glasses of wine are starting to let go a little. Strong ...

Monkey Island

The monkeys were already waiting for us. It was very cute and fun until the same Russian guy was bitten by a monkey to the point of blood on the neck. But since we found out about it at the end, we didn’t tense up and raged along with the monkeys on the park paths. Ahead we had a show of dogs and monkeys.

The show was cool, one monkey even lifted the bar by 200 kg, at least that's what it said on the bar.

But the most interesting activity after the show was the opportunity to win an iPhone Sem! » on dog races. At the moment, the latest iPhone 6s))) The bet cost 3.000 ($1.4) for one, but even then Dasha stopped. Our guide came up to us and gave Dasha a free bet flyer. Dasha today pearled like never before and ostriches, and an elephant, and horse races. Dasha bet on number two, and I bet on number four. Then we realized that we could have studied the dogs first. Mine had the shortest paws, for me it was a failure. Each dog had a riding monkey. However, the failure was also for Dasha, because number 3 won. There were eight of them in total.

After the races, there was still some free time to walk around the island.

I decided to buy Vietnamese branded iced coffee for myself, but they made me hot and very convincingly told that there was no good ice on the island. The island was watched by men in uniform, armed with slingshots and air rifles to save lanterns and other property from monkeys. However, the tourist, who climbed where it was not necessary, also got out of the slingshot.

Then we were taken back along the exotic sea along other islands. All sleepless nights were spent in buses. Sleepy got off the bus, and then just a massage parlor. Right off the bus for a massage and collapsed.

The excursion to the northern islands was simply stunning and cost $22 per person. However, everything was very cool in Nha Trang and all the excursions were also great, but it was time to say goodbye to the city.

We only needed one day here to complete the full program by visiting Yang Bay Park, but the north and central Vietnam are waiting for us. We did not have time to eat before the bus, so we ordered pizza in a restaurant and took it with us directly to the bus. Since the bus was a slipper, we had to cover a clearing on the floor and have a meal in a reclining state. It was pretty romantic. We drove along the Nha Trang-Hoi An route (19:00 - 07:30). In the meantime, the first branches of the cyclone reached Nha Trang and, according to the forecast, there will no longer be sunny days at the resort.

In the meantime, the first half of our Vietnamese adventures has come to an end, there will be no such relaxation and lazy freebie.

Road to Hoi An

Our night bus, as always, just flew somewhere. And it was raining outside the windows. We understood that we were already leaving the south completely and now we had to mentally switch to a completely different trip format.

Now she will be very active and not so warm. If the season is in the south of Vietnam, then in the north the situation is completely opposite. Next to me, a Vietnamese was trying to go to bed on the floor. Since I didn’t need any Vietnamese, I offered him in a mild form to lie down in another place, since the floor is long, it’s not necessary to do this next to me in the wrong place. It was the second bus driver who knew only one phrase in English "Don't wake up me, I'm second driver and need to sleep! " » Then this second driver started snoring so that at the end of each snoring he also snored additionally. During that night, he learned a new phrase in English - don't snore. In the middle of the night there was a stop for about thirty minutes, when I woke up I found that there was no downpour, but the wind was howling so ominously that goosebumps ran. I decided to take a walk down to the shore along a dark path along a dark forest.

But nothing seemed to go wrong, but it did when I stumbled upon the dogs. After that, I decided not to go far from the bus. All the way the bus made stops and it was loaded and unloaded some, it seems, illegal goods. It seemed to me so, because the loaders somehow strained when I went out with curiosity to see what was being loaded. We arrived at our destination early in the morning.

Hoi An

Having unloaded from the bus, we visited the nearest hotel. Having learned the price of the hotel, we decided that the hotel, in general, is not obligatory for us. Then we asked at the reception just to leave things, and that's it. While we were having breakfast in a nearby cafe, we noticed that Doc Emed Brown was sitting nearby, who had arrived just in 2015 and had apparently been traveling for several months.

I really liked the temples, I'm usually not a connoisseur of any architecture, but here dragons, swirling roofs, gardens with bridges over pools and fountains are all really impressive.

We also visited someone's estates and Dasha visited the porcelain museum. Since the weather was periodically replaced by a short rain, the time of the meal was decided for us. On the other side of the city there is an excellent institution - this is a large covered area with many shops where chefs prepare all possible types of Vietnamese dumplings and other exotics. The menu is tablets framed in a wooden frame, which is rather unusual.

At first, we just wandered around and pleased the eye with a variety of dishes, then just tea was brought to us on a tray, after drinking tea we realized that the tea was not brought to us at all, but obviously it was for a nearby excursion, one Chinese woman simply had a look of surprise on her face and misunderstanding of what is happening. Since the tour in this place cost $ 40 each, we did not decide to join it, I don’t understand at all how in this country you can pay that kind of money for something. Having decided on the diet, we obviously chose the most interesting - assorted and different types of dumplings. With our dumplings there is little similar, but the dish is no less tasty and very unusual.

And the orange-passion fruit fresh, as it were, emphasized all the sophistication. When this dish was brought to us, the first question was how to eat it and what exactly, but the waiter girl saved us from a difficult situation - then unfold and eat inside, it’s easy to break off, but it’s completely possible.

By the way, did I already mention that almost all of us in Vietnam ate with reusable chopsticks, which always stood in a bunch on the tables? In the end, even eating a bowl of rice with chopsticks was no big deal. So after Vietnam, we can not only eat any dish with chopsticks, but also skillfully protect ourselves in any danger, it is enough to have two reusable chopsticks in our pocket. If earlier, when you go to sushi in Kyiv, sometimes your hands get tired from wielding chopsticks, but now your fingers will never forget. We ate and the rain stopped. We continued our random wandering around the city. This city, as far as we understood, is the cultural center of Vietnam, as Lviv is for us. Everything is very cozy and somehow romantic. We also looked into an interesting long fast food for locals, purely to look, but when they saw tourists in it, all the sellers perked up and pounced on us as a bait.

I was immediately handed a spring roll for testing, someone told me something intensely, and someone agreed that we should return here. We barely escaped) Although in the first three hours we saw almost everything, but we had to wait for the evening.

We were just walking. The surest way to pass the time is to go for an hour massage. But for some reason, prices in Hai'an started at an average of 40.000 against 10.000 as in Ho Chi Minh City. But since there were few tourists who wanted to go in such a cold, the masseurs bargained all the way. In the end, we paid something around 28.000 ($ 12) for two, anyway, compared to Kyiv, the price is ridiculous. Meanwhile, everything was getting colder and colder. Instead of yesterday's 35, there were already a maximum of 15 and a breeze. This difference was very noticeable. The masseurs warmed their hands on our backs))) But anyway, massage is good. We left the salon, it was already dark on the streets.

The city has changed a lot, everything is shining, everywhere there is an impression that some kind of holiday. The locals, those who sold various souvenirs during the day, now retrained - offering candles in boat boxes. Luminous boats floated along the night river from time to time. People were taking pictures everywhere and there was some kind of activity around. Running up a thin log at an angle, keeping her balance, Dasha hit the gong, for which she won a prize, it cost 5.000 ($ 0.25). A lot of Chinese lanterns burned along the streets and were immediately sold as souvenirs. It was as if we were in some other city, as if the city had been sleeping all day, so that in the evening we could start our festivities. One word is associated with Hoi An - romance.

When it was already time to go back to the hotel for a transfer, we once again decided to walk to the center and enjoy the beauty of the evening lights reflected in the dark river.

Next, we had to move to Danang, we ordered a transfer in the old city for $ 5 per person, everyone tried to clarify with us which room we stayed in, and could not understand how we did not stop. Leaving Hoi An full of love and joy, we went further. The city is the bomb!

Danang

We didn't have anything booked in Da Nang either, because we didn't know exactly where the transfer would arrive. After 40 minutes, we drove into Da Nang and noticed the unrealistic size of the metropolis outside the window. For some reason, we were sure that this would be an urban-type settlement in which we could easily move in anywhere. But in a metropolis, you can immediately find a hotel and move in, you still need to pump up your skills.

“Where will you be dropped off? The driver asked.

"Yes, probably in the center somewhere" I said uncertainly. The Chinese were traveling with us and said that it would be best to get off near the dragon bridge.

Well, of course, where else can the Chinese land us, if not near the dragon))) And the bridge really turned out to be in the form of a dragon)

When we drove up outside the window, it was pouring downpour, the cyclone had already completely covered the north of Vietnam. The Chinese told us that it was already possible to put on raincoats, since we had arrived. With a confident look, we went out without raincoats and ran, hiding in the rain. Just then the hotel turned up. Dasha sat at the reception, and I went to see more hotels in the area to compare prices. But apart from the nearby hotel for $63, there was nothing at all in the area. Well OK, $18 a night doesn't look bad now. Having climbed under the covers, we decided to eat nishtyachkov. Dropping part of the cookie on the floor, I noticed how a bunch of ants from nowhere immediately began to eat. In general, what falls on the floor in this hotel is not returned.

The morning was cloudy, but without rain. While we can say that we are lucky with the weather, it rains either at night or when we eat or drive.

In Da Nang, there is one significant attraction, but what a cave in the marble mountains. That's where we went. True, the online check-in for the plane showed that it would seem like the boarding time would be 7 hours before departure, but this is some kind of nonsense. In any case, it remains to be hoped that this is nonsense. We immediately liked the caves, this is such an entertainment for 4 hours. And this is not something small, but full-fledged caves in which you have to climb in narrow openings and visit the temples inside.

And each next one is more interesting than the previous one. At the very beginning there was a map, but it is so abstract that we managed to get lost in the passages between the caves and mountain peaks that we could climb. Showing the locals photos of the bridge we need to get to, they just shrugged. It seems that even the locals were not everywhere in this vast complex. One of the caves was made in the form of a descent into hell.

The lower you climb, the more various demons and horrors you come across. And the top of one mountain, on the contrary, was marked as the road to paradise. Moreover, we even visited some seemingly forgotten caves without lighting, which we miraculously found behind one of the temples.

There were signs around the complex saying "Free of charge toilet". There was also a big sign on the toilet itself. But at the exit, an English-speaking Vietnamese woman immediately appeared and began to extort money. I asked her "Could you read this sign please? " ' pointing to the sign. She tried to get out of something, they say she works in this complex. To which I politely once again asked her to read the inscription aloud, the second time, finally, all the questions disappeared.

I want to note that the inhabitants of central Vietnam differed from the South in increased greed, which from time to time led them out a little.

When you try to buy something, your question about the price is not heard point-blank and defiantly start with great difficulty for you to look for the best bottle of water among those that lie in front of you. Moreover, when we were very thirsty, and the performance that lasted with the search for the best bottle had already dragged on for a minute, and then we were deigned to tell us the price with an extra charge of four times the usual cost or twice the price at which it is sold everywhere here , Dasha lost her nerves ...What happened that day in Da Nang remained in Da Nang. But one thing we know for sure, that woman is unlikely to want to return to the tourism business.

It is interesting that in the complex there was an elevator in one place, which cost some unjustified price and could save as much as 5 minutes of climbing against the backdrop of four hours of climbing. I think the elevator in the drawing was planned a little more.

For special connoisseurs, marble statues are sold near the park in the price range of seven thousand dollars. In the distance we saw the number of our bus, which ran relatively infrequently. We raced and drove through a large highway so that the conductor held the driver on purpose. But having flown into the bus, it turned out that he was going in the wrong direction. Oh, they tried so hard. Before departure, we still had seven hours, and there was nothing special in the city. Finding a larger lake on the map, we headed towards it. In any case, we could only hope that the bus would reach him. A young Vietnamese woman joined our conversations, saying that she was also learning French after hearing us speak French. She was extremely surprised that we spoke a little different - Russian)))) Oddly enough, but the bus really arrived exactly at the lake we wanted to.

Something unusual was happening in the city, near many stores in barrels, people were burning paper, taking it out of their stores. Some sweets were poured onto the asphalt in many places and tables were laid on the streets for friendly feasts. Soon everyone and everywhere was eating something at the tables, and often we were invited to join, it seemed like there was some kind of holiday. After a bite to eat at a local cafe, we decided to go to the covered market. The pungent odor that stood out gave us a long time, and the same picture was in the markets of other cities.

After walking along the lake, Dasha cashed 5.000 ($2.1). It's over! Since the fear after the poisoning receded a little, and there was a lot of street food on the streets, we decided to try the entire range of the city in general. And at the end they also drank a vitamin "plus") The taste of childhood. We returned to the hotel for things, a taxi driver immediately drove up there, followed us to the hotel and took us to the airport.

And on the way, I realized that we didn’t seem to call any taxi driver. Here is the service! In the Vietnamese plane, everything was so relaxed that even the steward, leaning against the wall, stood and ate some kind of burrito. And when it was necessary to buckle up for takeoff, he chewed it while sitting. In an hour, something completely new and different awaits us - North Vietnam.

Road to Sapa

The plane delayed its departure for an hour, as a result, we arrived in Hanoi around 00:00. Outside the window, the weather was unfavorable. But the feeling turned out to be warmer than we imagined. We had to figure out how to spend the night like that and leave early in the morning on an intercity bus to Sapa. Taxi is not clear profitable or not, and here is Shuttle bus. We sat in the shuttle bus for 40 minutes and didn't even move.

The driver kept promising that in 15 minutes we would go, as we found out later, this is such a Hanoi style of all drivers. As a result, we cooperated with the guys from the shuttle and left by taxi for the same price. We drove for some unrealistic amount of time to the center, the city turned out to be huge. Having reached the center for 40.000 ($18 for everyone), we checked into a hotel that had been booked since the morning. We were gladly received at the hotel and promised to organize tickets to Sapa for us in the morning, but at the same time they named the price at about $ 20 per person. In the morning, the manager said that tickets would be cheaper, only $16 per person. Early in the morning we were picked up by a taxi from the hotel and brought to the sleeper bass. To be honest, I was already allergic to the slipper basses. But in Sapa on a slipper, this is a really convenient solution.

The bus left the city for more than an hour, driving into all the nooks and crannies, and in some it was easy to stand, it was very infuriating, because time in the north was critically pressing for us, but as I said, this is North Viet Style! Some tourist joked that she had heard the news about snow in Sapa, we still remember how we laughed so awkwardly ...We drove, drove and drove again, this road seemed eternal, but again, at times it poured downpours outside the window, so Anyway, we wouldn't go out much at this time. By the way, again, oddly enough, but so far we have met rain either at night, or on the road, or when we eat. To be honest, I was lucky in this regard specifically. At one point, the bus turned off the highway and drove towards the mountains of Sapa. And he went straight up to the mountains, up to the clouds, but he didn’t leave them.

At one point, in truth, snow began to appear on the roofs in places, but after half an hour of driving, when snowmen went on the streets and icicles on the trees, such a strange feeling began. On the one hand, you, sitting in light summer-autumn clothes, understand with all your mind the depth of the ass you hit, and on the other hand, the brain refuses to believe your eyes, it seems like it’s still so warm everywhere. The bus opened the door, and I was full of hope that it was just snow that had not melted in the warmth and got out of the bus and all hopes were dashed.

It was not just a tryndets, it's not even words to describe those emotions of horror and a bouquet of feelings, which was accompanied by a piercing cold in every cell of the body, and especially in summer sandals. We simply did not know what to do, but something had to be decided. If the issue can somehow be resolved with things, then the sizes of my shoes in all of Vietnam simply do not exist.

The most healthy idea was initially to go back on the same bus, in second place was the idea to eat first, and then leave in two hours. But after the severity of the road, I didn’t want to ride the bus for another 7 hours. We went to eat, in an expensive cafe there was a real fireplace. A lot of Vietnamese were looking crazy, at least because they had seen snow for the third time in their lives. "Sapa is a city with an average of one rainy day per month" Who the hell wrote this article?? ? Was he even in Sapa? A Vietnamese woman in a cafe reassured us that now it’s still normal, but yesterday and the day before yesterday ....It’s already the fourth day of impenetrable fog and snow with rain, now it’s plus six, it was zero at night, this night it will be two degrees, tomorrow Google promises clear and plus 16. We ate, got a little warm, legs in socks, socks in bags and sandals. We went out into the street, and it seemed to be even colder there, and visibility was generally zero and a fine icy rain was drizzling.

But no one came according to the Viet-style, probably the driver decided to wait 40 minutes before leaving. It was not easy to go back up the mountain, because a stream of cold water flooded my legs from it. A taxi driver was caught half way, but, in my opinion, it was all the same.

There was a night bus. But nothing fundamentally changed for our route to leave at night or in the morning. In the end, we decided to spend the night. We started looking for a hotel. Found, bargained to the point that the owner took us by the hand to a cheaper hotel. The main question was, is there heating? Of course not! It doesn't get that cold here. But the manager, basking near the basin of coals, promised that the room would have an electric bed. Electro what? I sent Dasha to check what it was, Dasha returned and said that yes, under the sheet there is a thin heating pad that plugs into the outlet and starts to heat. Ok, turn on the heating pad and go to eat.

Then the plan was this, in the morning we look at how Google's promises about the weather at +16 and the sun will come true and decide whether we are leaving right away or not. We woke up in the morning, the street was plus 16 and the sun, no fog.

Tour of the villages

There were many options for excursions, we chose one of them for $ 17 per person and immediately booked a bus to Hanoi at the hotel, so we had an excursion tied to the bus, and we were calm that the bus would not work without us leaves, then we realized that the price of the bus hotel in Hanoi has broken us a lot, one and a half times. Since the Vietnamese, with their attempts to break a thread in order, hesitated, the hotel raked off immediately for the entire central-northern contingent, I will talk about this later, the story of this hotel will now be in my top fight against malomal for a long time. In the meantime, we went on a tour.

As mentioned earlier, all drivers in the north respect the code "Stop somewhere for a thread for half an hour to poke" this driver was no exception.

In one courtyard we stood for an incredible amount of time, probably due to the fact that warm memories flooded over the driver. Bikes carrying trees constantly rode along us. Now, it probably seems that there is something surprising in this, but we were not surprised after the bike carrying a large sofa across the standing one. But the sofa was then defeated by a large mirror between the driver and passenger. How it was for a passenger to go and look at himself all the way, though the mirror was just a little short of eye level, but it was very funny.

Yes, there’s something like a mirror against two tourists with backpacks each, sitting behind the driver of a small bike, who rushes, catching up with the bus, one tourist hangs a little from the bike and the whole adventure is at full speed, and even with us hurrying to the airport. But we will return to this bike later, for now we sit with the driver and watch the passing trees. In the meantime, the driver's memories ran out, and he drove on. At one of the stops, our guide sat down with us - a local resident who speaks excellent English. The girl was completely positive, and when she saw that I was in sandals, I was seriously scared if I had lost my mind.

“It will be very slippery there! No need for sandals! »

“This is my style! I proudly replied! Everyone laughed heartily. Well, of course, sitting in sports sneakers, you can laugh. In the meantime, the bus drove to such mountain beauties that I immediately forgot about yesterday's snow.

Sapa is one of the best places in Wetnam, it's as beautiful as I don't even know how. "Shall we stop here? » The girl asked. Yes, there was no need to ask.

These step-like flooded rice fields, in the lowlands of the mountains, these streams and bridges in the distance. And it wasn't even the season. Where is more beautiful? Then we started the hiking route down to the villages. I looked on the internet for pictures from the season when the fields are densely green, I want to say that there is charm in both times. On the way we met a resting wild boar, which grunted lazily. In addition to our guide, a whole delegation of her friends was constantly with us. Along the flowing streams there were wooden mechanisms that ground some kind of cereal, due to the pressure of the water. The tour of the villages was somehow so sincere and positive that involuntarily you begin to love all the Vietnamese. After walking around, we had lunch.

At lunch, all the tourists got to know each other well.

With our 17-day Vietnam travel program, we were just weaklings. Some of the routes were so large-scale and intricate that it was just some kind of lazy rest for us. One Briton has the impression that he simply decided to fly airplanes. Some started in New Zealand. And one guy even drank a malaria pill for every fireman. One woman from Israel was very surprised that Ukraine and Russia are different countries, she always thought that this is one country, here it is when she was in Moscow during the great fire ...To keep the conversation going, I just clarified whether it was the same fire, when did Napoleon enter? Turns out it was some other kind of fire. The meal ended and the treshak began - we went to the mountains. After the rains, it was slipperier than in a vaseline factory.

Sometimes there was nothing to hold on to. And the sandals really slipped very easily. The friends of our guide helped everyone, and especially me.

With my physique and height, I looked like the Lilliputians were taking Gulliver for a walk. In some places the road was also swampy. And it seemed that everything was not going so badly until it came to one steep descent ten meters long. When I realized that I had completely lost traction with the ground, all that remained was to run forward. Some kind of thorny kind of plant grew on the sides. All the assistants only sympathetically watched the doomed, but still pure tourist, and only my valiant wife with all her might bounced in my direction. Everything that happened could be bet on. My speed dropped sharply from light to sound.

With all my might, I began to hold Dasha, who, from my impulse, began to overcome the opposite trajectory and at some point everything stopped, we both stood on our feet! Heroine! I immediately received respect from the whole group, and one guy commendably told the story of how his girlfriend in a similar situation just ran away, and expressed his admiration for what a great wife I got. One girl from the guides brought me a thick bamboo stick and said that I should go further only with a stick. The stick was also convenient in that I felt a certain surge of Jedi strength in myself and from time to time fought with growing bamboo. At the next edge there was a break and now it was possible to enjoy the views again. I was so happy that we stopped by Sapa, I was under the impression that I said that this is the coolest place we have seen in Vietnam.

Dasha said, I should have heard myself yesterday, when I demanded that they put me back on the bus. In the meantime, they made a konyka for me, and Dasha a heart made of grass.

Further on, our path led through a bamboo forest. Everything was simple here, let go of the bamboo - you will float down. It was the real test of skill. Coming out to a large waterfall, we were told that everything was behind us and the route was over. The guide's girlfriends immediately laid out a bunch of junk for sale. Unfortunately, I didn’t want to thank them, but there really was a junk of $14 dollars.

Dasha really bought a bracelet from a 7-year-old girl who helped her. Then we climbed into our bus and the guide said that we had to hurry as two tourists were waiting for the bus to Hanoi. Although we did not have time by four, there was nothing to worry about, because they had everything under control here. After picking up my things at the hotel, I barely washed my sandals from the clay.

We were picked up by a taxi and taken to the bus. The driver clarified that we were the ones he was waiting for and gave us another 10 minutes to buy food for ourselves. There was a lot of street food for sale at the station. Since I had to get on the bus barefoot, in my case, two drivers helped me clean the clay off my jeans. I would have stayed in Sapa for another day, but it was risky to do so, since there are few days left before returning to the south, and any unforeseen situation can throw out the most interesting things from the program.

We slept a lot on the way back, so the 7 hours flew by much faster. Then we probably drove around Hanoi for about 40 minutes in the hope that a bus would pass somewhere near the center and at the fortieth minute that miracle happened. How nice to have a GPS with you. Next, I had to move in.

We found some hotel.

While I was negotiating with the owner at 22:00 to send us to Ha Long early in the morning, Dasha quickly found this hotel on the tablet and in this way we saved a couple of dollars per night. On Booking, it turned out to be a dollar cheaper, being wary of taxes, the owner made us another dollar cheaper than it was on the tablet. It was already 11 pm and there were no signs of adventure, but I had to eat, and the downpour here began such that I was afraid that Vietnam would now be washed off the map. All decent establishments were closed. And everywhere where openly there was some kind of brothel. In one cafe, they took the elevator to the fourth floor, but without even leaving the elevator, Dasha pressed the first one, since they hardly feed in this place. I pressed the second one, because there is also a restaurant mark. Here I already pressed the speed button on the first floor. Nearby there was another cafe in which all the visitors were not tensely sitting.

On the way, we stopped at a large souvenir shop, where the toilets were like for kings, well, the prices for souvenirs are about the same. But that's it, we arrived in the bay and of course the fog. We were loaded onto a ship.

At first I still thought how such a ship could cost so much, but when I saw tourists on cheaper options, I realized that everything was not so bad. They fed on the ship as if they were worried that no one would overeat. When we started swimming along the rocks, of course, it became very beautiful. Then we were put on boats, and we swam through the caves in the rocks, swimming into areas of the sea, completely surrounded by mountains.

Then we landed on a large island, where we went for a walk in a large cave with stalactites and stalagmites.

To be honest, Halong Bay is far from the top of what we saw.

Oh, it’s cool to rest, we sat and watched the guys ride some kind of mini-skates, only under each leg. The 13th full day of our trip was coming to an end, and it felt like six months ago we flew to Ho Chi Minh City. Tomorrow we will have the last planned location and consider the travel plan completed. So, in the morning, we go to the Hanoi bus station.

Ninh Binh

We got to the station by city bus to get more into the city. But at the station we came across a real driver of northern Vietnam. We first waited 30 minutes for the departure time, then another 20 minutes until he finally decided, and then another hour slowly drove around Hanoi. From time to time, his assistant jumped out and looked for people who need to deliver packages. The speed of our bus can be imagined if the assistant could jump out on the move, and then jump back up catching up.

At first, the hotel manager assured me to rent a bike from him, I tried to ride about ten meters, after which the manager persuaded me to take a taxi. We did just that, driving for $ 4 to Tamkok. By the way, the hotel manager helped us a lot by putting a number of stars on the Google map that must be visited. We need to quickly have a bite to eat somewhere and hit the road in boats. Since it was evening, all the restaurants were already empty. But at the same time, all the same, hot dogs were cooked for a long time, so that you would definitely feel the restaurant. Having stocked up on green tea, we finally went on a long-awaited boat trip along a quiet river along the rocks ($18 for two).

Moreover, boats are rowed here exclusively, holding the oars with their feet. And here they are the very beauties of Tamkok that we expected to see in Halong. And most importantly, we are alone here, there are no crowds of tourists, the beauty is simply inexpressible.

We were overwhelmed with the desire to quickly go on a hiking route between these rocks, where there is land. At one point, we stopped, and the woman offered to continue our route along the unofficial part for an additional fee. We were all for it, but it didn't work out. Our boatwoman did not calculate her strength and after a couple of minutes we were so loaded in the swamp that I was afraid that we would not be in time for tomorrow's plane. We rowed with all our strength, for the first five minutes we did not even move a millimeter. No wonder the official tourist route ended earlier. With all our might, we overcame the swamp, but then the woman didn’t have the strength to row further against the current, apologizing, she turned the boat back ...into the swamp ...we went back it easier, as we had a good kiss, picking up speed and pushing off the bridge with our hands, who was on our side. The river has moved from relaxation mode to some kind of extreme, and most importantly, adventure!

To complete the bouquet, Dasha and I decided to change places, how we did not turn over, in my opinion, even for the guide remained a mystery. Soon our one and a half hour route ended.

On the Internet, posts everywhere say that, despite the price of the excursion, the boatwoman should be given a tip at the end. I had 1.000 ($0.6) in my pocket. But then the woman began to dissatisfiedly say that this is not enough, we owe a tip of 5.000 ($ 2.2). I tried to convey to her that in fact we didn’t owe her anything at all, but the situation only worsened, in the end I grabbed our money back, explaining that I had changed my mind about tipping. I hope after that she understood what it means when no one owes anything to anyone. But from the photographer’s girl, who took a couple of photos for us from another boat, we still bought pictures, because the memory is all the same. The photographer also tried to tell that after all we should give our boatwoman 5.

It would be a little stressful, but it's doable. But here is the catch, due to the cyclone, Nha Trang is now also going through hard times. But in Ho Chi Minh City 33 and the sun all the days on the fly. In general, we decided to shed from the north on that day. The route will still be finished by the evening, and apparently, starting from today, the rains will not end soon. Having entered the online check-in, we noticed a problem, our flight was moved an hour ahead at midnight, and the departure lights up again at 15:00. It became dumb, I was able to get through to those from Skype. low-cost carrier support. We were faced with the impossible task of transmitting a six-character Latin code to the Vietnamese. The simplest solution is spelling, but it’s not so easy to come up with an explicit English word for each letter, we are completely stuck on the letter “Y”. The operator, helping us, clarified, “Wai, is this like a Yankee? ". Yes, we do not know how some Yankees are written. And he did not know the words that we selected for the letter “Y”.

Everything was complicated by the fact that in addition to this letter there are 5 more. From the outside, it seemed as if two tourists decided to play words on the phone. I don't know since when, but his base did accept the code, and we could now get to the point. At first, the guy convinced us that the flight had not changed at all, and then he came to the conclusion that it had changed for midnight, but at the same time he wanted to tell us something. I repeated the question “So, today we will fly at 23:55? ” ”and in response I get something like this“ Yes, but vô ngh? a tuy? t? ? i". I ask again, and in the end he again wants to add something. Dasha and I look at each other in complete confusion. I repeat the phrase in a different way, he again “Yes, but vô ngh? a tuy? t? ? i» We could only hope that vô ngh? a tuy? t? ? i means "You guys are so cool, I'm screaming at you! " » Because otherwise we risk seeing the cyclone in full swing. Leaving things at the reception, we went on to explore the beauties of the surroundings of Ning Binh.

Trang An

Even more began to shout among themselves. But why are all the Chinese always screaming? After 20 minutes the boat turned back. Is that all? But not everything is so simple, turning at some fork, we rushed towards the big mountain. Dasha noticed wires along the mountains, it turns out they were even very relevant there, because ahead of us was such a long and winding cave that they had lighting in it.

The concentration of the Chinese here just went off scale))) At the exit from the cave, they helped row so enthusiastically that soon the main part sailed away from us into the distance and again that mysterious silence. Having sailed a number of caves, a temple and another interesting building on the water, we swam to the finish line. Oh, sincerely they have here in the provinces of Ninh Binh.

Then we went, just like yesterday, impromptu towards some star on the map, having refreshed ourselves with cold green tea and sweet jokes for a dollar, which we then enjoyed for another three days.

I also had to change my socks for dry ones, and in the souvenir shop it turned out that everything you need for comfortable shoes is socks, bags and rubber bands. Moreover, the saleswoman came up with the rubber bands. It was necessary to go many kilometers to the asterisk. But we walked so confidently along the deserted road, as if a car was waiting for us ahead. And indeed, somewhere in the tenth minute of the journey, we found a taxi driver who just sat and waited. The taxi driver did not understand where we came from, but happily took us to the mark. Arriving at the place, we found a bunch of tourist buses. Yep, there really is something here.

At first we wandered around the Vietnamese temple, then climbed some high steps somewhere very high, but there was nothing there except burial places. Having gone down, we went along the arrows with an unreadable inscription in Vietnamese. We didn’t know where and why we were going, but everything here is really beautiful and cool.

On the way, we looked into some place that looked like a monastery. Then after 20 minutes the arrows went in the opposite direction. Then we walked for a long time through some village where everyone was happy for us.

Then along the rice fields. It seems to me that we have been where no tourist has gone before. As a result, we wandered into some expensive large restaurant, which stood almost in the middle of a field near the road. It was expensive not because it was luxurious, but simply because it was expensive there. And everything else tastes bad.

Moreover, it is unusual for Vietnam when it is tasteless, it really was an exception. To make it tasty for us to go, we decided to buy cupcakes on the way, but they were only sold in boxes.

I had to buy a whole box. We even got to Kyiv in the end. After a few hours of chaotic wandering, we decided to catch a taxi and go towards one of the visited marks, where we saw interesting landscapes, where it would be cool to take a walk. Just then a taxi driver was carrying someone, and for one thing he picked us up. As soon as things got exotic, we left. GPS seemed to tell us where you climbed at all, how are you going to get back? And what about us, we have a plane just scheduled for today.

On the way back, we found a Vietnamese mountain temple, through which recorded stories were broadcast in various places, and the tourist was told where to go next.

Of course, we were already running out of time, but how could we miss this. It's cool, you walk around and find something interesting. Some kind of hotel was being built below, but the workers did not notice us, and there was a river nearby, coming out of the cave. Among the workers I found some girl who said with a gesture that for 9.000 ($ 4) we would now sail. We loaded into the boat, her friend ran up and said that we would swim a five-kilometer route in about an hour. Hey, how's that for an hour, but somehow we don't really have an hour, oh well, then we'll have to cover ourselves faster. I waved to the girl to call us a taxi by the time we got there. Oh, the boat in Ninh Bing is always good.

We had to cover only 2000 km to Ho Chi Minh City, of course, the main part by plane, but we have about 5 hours to the plane and a long distance. Now we are going without money in a taxi from the provinces to Ninh Binh to pick up our things at the hotel. Upon reaching the hotel, it was necessary to urgently change money, but on this day in Vietnam the exchange rate fluctuated greatly, and we thought that the hotel just wanted to break us. Having borrowed money from the hotel manager to pay off the taxi driver, I quickly went somewhere to change money. If in all cities almost the first person you met could change you, then for some reason everyone shied away from me like fire. I wandered into some elite restaurant. The only visitors who looked like some kind of gangsters were sitting at the table. Moreover, the gangsters are elite, in jackets and with watches on their hands. I approached the hostess with the question of exchange, she could not understand me.

Her father, an older Vietnamese, with all his desire, also could not understand why I offered him $ 50 with the phrase “Change to Dong”. The situation was somehow hopeless, in Ninh Bing only a few actually spoke English. Even in our hotel, either translators or some friend of theirs who understood English was used to resolve issues. The girl decided to understand me with the help of sitting gangsters. When she led me to them, they stared at me with interest. I showed fifty kopecks, the guys changed dramatically in their faces and immediately everyone became out of business and it seemed to me as if they were justifying themselves to me for something. It didn’t work out with the restaurant, I go out and see a shop with all sorts of junk nearby. I went there with money, and there the Vietnamese pulled in such a large bamboo that I even felt embarrassed when we looked at each other, I obviously broke off his buzz. From his appearance, he clearly felt exposed. Yeah, conversion is clearly not going to work.

There were also a number of attempts, but the maximum that I achieved was that they showed me a finger somewhere in the direction of the highway to Hanoi. Failed, I returned to the hotel to change at a disadvantageous rate. The guys had complex mathematics on the topic - the more you pass, the better the course. But all the math was covered when they calculated the exchange rate for fifty dollars. They gave me dongs in my hands at a very favorable rate for me. Well, ok, you need to have a bite to eat and quickly continue on your way. Near the bus station there was a cafe with hot dogs and billiards for midgets. Super! While preparing hot dogs we played two games. And since there was still free tea, we managed to drink tea twice before and after the meal. The plane was running out of time. I was assured that the bus to Hanoi runs around the clock every 15 minutes and the last one left just 15 minutes ago. The situation was heating up.

A local root immediately showed up and began to tell that there is a second station two kilometers away, there are definitely buses there and for 7.000 ($ 3.1) a taxi driver will take us. Yeah, right now, I know perfectly well that 2 km on the meter is about a dollar. The guys decided to take advantage of the fact that we were in a hurry and said that the taxi would not go according to the meter. And I decided to use the principles and sent them to hell. Leaving the station, they caught a taxi driver who did not speak English and told him “Bus, Hanoi”, the man confidently took us somewhere, most importantly, not to Hanoi. After about 2 km, for 2.000 ($1), he dropped us off at a gas station near the highway and left. Damn, there is no train station here. Near the track stood a motorcyclist and a Vietnamese looking into the distance. The lack of time was very pressing. Both naturally did not speak English, but at the phrase "Hanoi" the guy nodded his head in the affirmative and asked some question.

After a couple of minutes the bus stops, and our motorcyclists overtake it and stand in front. The bus driver says something quickly, and we urgently need to take off our shoes and quickly jump into the bus. I jumped in, Dasha screaming in the distance to give her the money for the motorcyclist, but the Vietnamese had already settled with our biker, and everyone quickly jumped into the bus, which switched to the second space speed and rushed towards Hanoi. Now it was possible to take a breath and lean back in a cozy slipper place. GPS showed that we were moving in the right direction. It takes about two hours to drive, you can relax, but at the 50th minute we were already very close to the city and something happened again not according to plan. The bus stopped, and all the passengers abruptly began to run out. One guy turned out to be English-speaking and explained that the bus has two stops and the first one is here. If you are at the airport, then get off and change to a direct bus.

At that moment, some other bus came to our bus, it looked quite straight, and someone pointed to it to us. We quickly exit, but the driver’s assistant waves, they say, sit down, we’ll go further. How next, we like here? Everyone speaks Vietnamese again. The second bus starts to drive off, since I'm barefoot, Dasha said to collect things, and he ran along the asphalt for the second bus. In a moment, Dasha ripened and we are again rushing somewhere. At the word "Airport" the conductor nodded something between "Yes" and "We're in the other direction. " But the driver was a confident man and completely without understanding us agreed. When we reached the district of Hanoi, the bus drove along it and in the right direction. Gorgeous, we go in the front seats next to the driver. I started dozing. Then Dasha wakes up and says that the bus has abruptly left the district to the center. And we don't need to go there. Okay, our adventure isn't over yet.

The driver brought us to a large bus station and waved, “We have arrived, yes, the Airport! Yes! » But according to GPS, we are still more than forty km from the airport. Local drivers immediately swooped in like flies with their services. And one girl, fortunately, spoke English, but she began to assure that you could only get to the airport on her bike, despite the fact that it was raining outside. We started looking for the entrance to the box office. The drivers started grabbing hands. At the first one I grabbed, I screamed so sharply in the face that, at best, he lost his constipation for the rest of his life. His narrow eyes no longer shine. At the box office they gladly wanted to sell us tickets to Sapa, but when they realized that we were going to the airport, the girl said with sympathy that it was better to catch a taxi. We also had this option at the ready. We caught a taxi outside the station and it seemed that now we would definitely get to the airport, and our mark on the map was getting closer. At the entrance, the driver decided to clarify “International?

The flight was delayed for another hour, as a result, we arrived in Ho Chi Minh City at about two in the morning.

Return to Ho Chi Minh City

We left the airport, again wild heat and no rain. Oh yes, we're back in the south. There will be no more of that northern cold. Since we already knew that $10 for an airport taxi is a lot, we decided to get to the center on our own. We confidently followed the crowd of people, because they obviously know how to get to the center since they are walking so confidently. After 5 minutes, everyone got on their bikes and drove off somewhere. We were left alone, as soon as the owners of bikes ran into the target. Having barely fought them off, we found a taxi driver who, when asked the price, took out a bunch of bills and showed us. Dasha, already on reflex, indignantly asked: “How much ? ! » But he had 13.000 ($5) in his hands. Great, let's go. It was evident that the taxi driver was sincerely happy with our company.

The guy from the reception was very happy with our visit and asked how the trip was going, the guy was proud when he found out how much we appreciate his country. Although the day was planned without activities, but when we saw the list of excursions, we could not resist and the next moment we were already on the bus. That's why I liked Vietnam, if you want to order a tour in the middle of the night, they'll take you away early in the morning, if you want to order it in the middle of the day, they'll take you away, people don't strain on this topic at all.

Even though we are quite accustomed to Vietnamese-English, we still couldn't understand half of the guide's speech. And he said some pretty cool stuff. The tour was in those places where the Vietnamese and Soviet partisans fought back American soldiers during the war. They showed a lot of homemade traps and hacks to fill up an American soldier. It was at least effective. And then there was a descent into the underground tunnels themselves.

The guide appointed one of the tourists to go first after him, but while he proudly poked his chance, he turned out to be at least fifth. Surprisingly, I was the first. The tunnel was very low and narrow, if the Vietnamese could run crouching along it, then the position in which I had to overcome him was simply indescribable. Every 20 meters it was possible to leave the race and at one moment our group began to thin out. I proudly crawled to the last point - 120 meters. At the exit, they fed us some boiled root resembling potatoes and showed the bust of Ho Chi Minh City. The tour was not long, but interesting, we were glad that we went. On the way back, the bus stopped for everyone to take photos in the rice field against the backdrop of sunset.

In the evening we went to test their McDonald's. By the way, it was one of the coolest poppies we've seen.

The third floor is reserved for children's parties, and when we were there, two groups celebrated something at once. After listening to the famous “Happy birthday” being sung in Vietnamese, we went to the adult floor)

There was a cool touch table that changed colors when touched. From zero to the third floor, orders traveled in a transparent elevator, thus making a circle and going down to the first to the checkout. You can even order a prefabricated hamburger from them in a poppy! I finally ate an unforgettable taste of a porkburger. Ho Chi Minh City is the city of the beginning or finish of the tourist route, so everything here is either white or tanned-burnt. An hour of relaxation massage after poppy and you can wander around enjoying the nightlife. The clock suddenly became one in the morning.

Ho Chi Minh Zoo

Another beautiful Asian day under the hot sun, what could be more beautiful.

Asia, we love you so much. Looking for places for breakfast, we first went to some pizzeria, and the girl behind the counter happily told me that both pizzas were almost ready. This is a service, just come in, and your order, which you yourself don’t know about yet, is almost ready! We didn’t like the prices much, so we went to another restaurant, where they didn’t bring me pizza at all. Okay, we returned to the previous one and stocked up on the one that we initially refused. We had to drop in for one envelope at the reception, and for one and have a bite to eat in the lobby. Just some tourist asked how tasty this pizza is, I told him to wait, quickly unpack and taste it in front of him. I gave the pizza a good mark, the satisfied tourist moved on. At first, we unsuccessfully went to the zoo by taxi. We got into a mega traffic jam, assessing the situation, we decided to walk to the zoo.

We went out just near the luxurious banyan tree. Something the morning didn’t work out from the very beginning, then they didn’t bring pizza, then there was a traffic jam with a taxi. I know real iced Vietnamese coffee will fix everything. Ordinary coffee may have a problem that it is very hot, while Vietnamese coffee has the problem that the ice is very frozen, and in order for liquid to appear in a thick mixture of condensed milk with coffee, you have to wait for some time until the ice begins to melt. While I was walking down the street and sipping coffee, one security guard asked me, “How do you like Vietnamese coffee? ” ". Oh yeah, I'm going to miss this coffee for a long time. They were looking for an entrance to the zoo for a long time, but these are all trifles, the main thing is that I drank that chic coffee) The territory of the zoo was simply huge, the first thing we did was run to the spray guns so that we would be watered along with the grass. After 5 minutes you are dry again.

In the zoo, it seems that time went in the opposite direction, at first the elephants walked backwards, and then the giraffe also lived counterclockwise. When Dasha drew attention to the giraffe, he stopped chewing for a second, looked contemptuously and continued to chew counterclockwise. On this hot day, it was the most pleasant to dangle your feet in aquariums with peeling fish, for only a dollar, and they are yours as much as you want. This is a unique feeling of fear and tickling, as if we were back in Thailand again. Probably, about an hour floundered with the fish. An elusive bird also roamed the territory.

It was elusive because no one had to catch it. Against the backdrop of a huge tree, some guy had a photo shoot, presumably for an album of his songs for 14-year-old girls. Because he was photographed in jackets on a naked body and with a disowned face.

I immediately replied that we were just going to go down, but then, after thinking, I decided to find out where that garden was. She led us to the back door and told us to go two floors up the stairs, and then back to the elevator. There we got completely lost. And now you are walking down the corridor, and everyone is in tuxedos towards you and it is not clear whether to greet colleagues, or to attract less attention, although there was much less there. Okay, they scored on that garden, let's look for an elevator down, going to the first floor. Well, who knew that the exit to the city would be on the fourth floor? It was fun nonetheless. After walking through the central squares and parks, we slowly made our way to our area. Next on the program is a massage, where they forgot about me for about 15 minutes. On this day, they forgot about me everywhere. The massage was so relaxing that sometimes I involuntarily twitched from falling into the realm of sleep. In combination, in this salon it was possible to buy a painting inexpensively.

Okay, I'm sending him to Kyiv, but at the transfer, check in again. ” With this, the journey was over for our luggage, but not for ours. The Emirates have been waiting for us for a long time, it was not in vain that I chose a transfer of 23 hours in duration, but this is already in the next story.

Unsuccessful attempt to scam tourists

Photo from another divorce attempt, but nonetheless)

As I mentioned earlier, a hotel in Hanoi sold us bus tickets for 75.000 ($32), which in fact cost 44.000 ($20) for two, including the markup. When we realized this, we were already in another city. If the hotel takes a commission not 2.000 (like other hotels), but one and a half times the cost, then at least he should warn about this. This is a scam in its purest form. There are always ways to deal with this, and here they also picked up the right one. The hotel, which had a rating on booking close to the maximum, caught me 2.5 with a short comet that the owner deceived us by $ 15.

The score was no longer so close to the maximum. I don’t know what booking does with its hotel managers, but for the third time I am convinced of the effectiveness of this service.

Then everything went semi-automatically. When registering at the hotel, you had to provide your email. The last character, apparently, was not completely legible, so the incoming letter from the hotel contained in the copy a bunch of recipient options with the last character changed. In short, the question from the hotel was: “What happened, are we really shocked by the review? ". In response, I painted all the math, as a result of which I got about 15 dollars.

The manager wrote why they have to charge so much for their services, saying paper is expensive, staff hours, mobile communications, etc. and added the phrase, “We are just trying to run our business, but in fact they have a good level of services so my estimate of 2.5 is not entirely correct.

But since the hotel understands what I feel now, in order to improve our relationship with them, it offers to return the entire amount we spent, and we, in turn, will help them remove the negative review. »

I was a little surprised by the hotel's response and the efficiency of booking. Moreover, to hear from the Vietnamese a phrase like “Let me return the money to you” was completely strange. But since they "do business" that proposal was quite business correct. I agreed, but I thought it was about the difference.

Next, there was a small hassle when we tried to figure out how to transfer money from a Vietnamese card to a Ukrainian one. The easiest way was for them to pay me for the Internet in UAH on the provider's website. But as we found out later, Vietnam cards are prohibited on the online territory of Ukraine. The situation was somehow unsolvable, a pear is hanging - you can’t eat it. Here the manager offers to give me cash. What city are you in?

One drawback is the price of air tickets from Kyiv. But only thanks to our care and luck, we were able to track that moment with an error in price. If we calculate our independent standard tour package flight + accommodation + transfer, it turns out for two for two hundred dollars cheaper than in Kiev travel agency they offer the minimum price for one.

In the next story I will detail the route with prices and movements, and yes, if you have read the story to this place, then I am very pleased, I wish you to visit this wonderful country or return again: )

Translated automatically from Russian. View original