The flight was delayed. It seems to be not for long - only about two hours, but we managed to regret that we did not take sandwiches with us. Appetite several times drove me into a zone of increased danger for the wallet - to the airport buffet, but willpower, reason and a chocolate bar, which turned out to be in stock with the sister of the lady of my heart, nevertheless prevailed.
But it was not there. On the plane right behind us was a very voluminous and noisy female company, endlessly discussing a variety of subjects, incoherently jumping from one topic to another, at the same time constantly returning to the idea of u200bu200bfix - food.
“By the way, I have an exceptionally healthy diet, ” one said. - For a while I followed the Kremlin diet...
From culinary conversations there was nowhere to go. It was possible to try to fall asleep, but it was not possible to recline the seats back, since all the space behind was occupied. Through my drowsiness, I could hear a themed computer game being played there.
- Cutlets, cucumbers, tomatoes, spices...
Croissants, you forgot croissants!
The intensity of gastronomic passions subsided a little only after dinner was distributed.
Upon arrival at Hurghada airport, a familiar picture was observed: citizens of Arab nationality vyingly offered services, demonstrating to the arrivals tempting signs "Visas without a queue", "VIP service", etc. Some tourists used the services, paying not $ 15, but $ 17 for a visa, really no queue. After that, of course, the rest survived, without which the bus would not leave anyway.
The hotel turned out to be quite decent. The room was so clean that my half, going out onto the terrace, hit his head lightly on the completely transparent glass door. The day before, we read a lot of different reviews about the hotel, but who leaves them? Inadequate dissatisfied people. Others do not write any reviews, because they do not need it. They don't even care that "someone is wrong again on the Internet".
On the first evening we witnessed the clash of civilizations. A representative of one, having plucked himself up to the position of a robe, obviously suddenly felt a surge of creative energy and, for research purposes, sat down with a representative of another civilization, who did not speak Russian and was generally a little girl. The Russian scientist made incredible efforts to establish contact, optical and acoustic, but the girl did not make contact. She watched as her father approached. This was followed by an unsightly scene illustrating what can happen when we finally reach the stars: dad, physically superior to the natural scientist in all visible parameters, took him by the elbow with an iron grip and seated him at a free table, at the same time reading the notation in German. Our scientist was discouraged and shocked. All he could answer after a long pause was a question into the cosmic void: "Where are you from? . . "
Later, I repeatedly encountered situations in which I had to blush for my compatriots. For example, one company, lying on the beach, discussed whether it was worth splashing whiskey in the face of a certain foreigner the day before. Everyone agreed that it was not worth it, and in this they should be supported, but after all, the fact under discussion took place, and this is not good.
Ukrainian citizens of Ukraine often addressed the staff in MOV, unable to connect two words in any more common language.
By the way, the Arabs themselves, employed in the tourism business, speak English, German, Russian, Polish, French and, presumably, several more languages. In this regard, a natural question arises, why don't they all switch to some normal language at all, instead of writing their gibberish backwards. Well, here, of course, I am exaggerating: after all, Arabic itself is the language of interethnic communication, brought to the conquered tribes and peoples during the time of the Arab conquests.
When I first came to the beach and kicked the sand with my foot, the first thing I did was find a coin of 50 Ukrainian kopecks. Another evidence in favor of those who claim that the ancestors of the ancient Egyptians were protoukry.
The beach is not quite suitable for simply entering the sea: fossilized growths of corals begin behind a flat shallow, and then the bottom abruptly goes to an almost impenetrable depth. But right at the pontoon, a huge number of colorful and different-sized (from centi- to half-meter) fish bustle about, the names of which I don’t know. Mask, snorkel, fins - and you can swim along the coastline, admire the coral beauty and chase the fish for at least half an hour, at least an hour. Doesn't get bored.
Somehow, right by the shore, I picked up a large shell in which something living lived. It opened its eyes and even raised itself in its bed to get a better look at me. We winked at each other and I threw him away.
Several times, moving away from the shore, in the blue depths, I saw measuredly swimming fish the size of a man, who didn’t care about people feeding coastal small fry. Several times, very close to the reef, we saw dolphins, and once there were even clouds over the Red Sea.
There is nothing for children to do on the beach, except to build sand and sea foam castles. Ladies, by and large, too, but they still find a way to enjoy it. Sitting on the shallows, using an air mattress or just floating near the pontoon. A few days later, when it stormed and a red flag hoisted over the pontoon strongly against swimming, our attention was awarded to the pools. And some of them were even filled with salt water. Without fish and corals, but in a sense - almost the sea.
Swimming in a storm is not very interesting: bottom silt rises up, the water becomes cloudy, although it is visible many meters deep, garbage rises from the bottom like floating plastic bags that have not been seen before. By the way, I was once again convinced of the anthropogenic nature of UFOs when I saw a mysteriously floating plastic glass in the abyss of the sea.
One day we went in search of adventure, along the coast, outside the cultivated area. It cannot be argued that where we came, the foot of a man did not set foot, but she did not set foot there at this particular moment: we found a deserted, surrounded by gray-green-yellow stones, a blue lagoon. In it, wandering on foot on the sand and enjoying life, I noticed a very curious object. It was something that looked like a severed octopus tentacle, white with a brownish diamond pattern. It could also be mistaken for a piece of coral of a variety that I have not yet encountered. There was something like green algae on the thicker end, which was pushing for the latest version. However, before proceeding with the direct examination and getting the object out of the water, I took some safety measures, namely, I pointed my special anti-coral slippers with rubber soles on the green end and tried to move the object. At that moment, I remembered how a certain old man, who wore a simple rag on his body and wore nothing on his legs, amused himself by teasing the vipers with his heel, so rough that bites were nothing to him.
The object moved slowly. I hold a camera in my hands and try to take pictures, but the slight roughness of the water interferes. And then the object suddenly began to squirm - and rushed away.
Miracles of dexterity were demonstrated by my sister. She instantly climbed onto a stone protruding from the water at least a meter. She refused to get down until I went around her shelter several times and convinced that there was no snake under the stone. Maybe it was a coral eel?
Despite the worries and fears, a day later we went there again, it’s very beautiful there. This time the precautions were heightened: the ladies walked along the shore. However, this time there was no snake. On the other hand, natives wandered around us, without hotel uniforms, that is, locals. The older one was poking at the sea with an iron wire rod, the others just looked at us with curiosity. It’s hard to say what they all did specifically, but one of them greeted me friendly, saying, as is customary here, “halo”. And when we were returning back, and I carried my lady to the shore in my arms, the aborigine picked up his friend and cheerfully began to transport him in the same way. We waved our hands at each other.
Among other irritants that the thoughtful reader should be aware of, flies, sparrows and beach pests should be singled out separately. I ordered these three entities not only in order of increasing caliber, but also in terms of the degree of world evil concentrated in them.
So flies are just flies. Whether they are attracted by the smell of watermelons and melons eaten on the beach, or the contents of a bag dangling under the tail of a camel - a local fashion model, or a craving for the pure art of annoying. One way or another, they have to be dismissed as importunate New Chroniclers, supporters of the spelling "in Ukraine" and other Jehovah's Witnesses.
Sparrows are a different story. It is possible that once upon a time there lived birds of paradise, or at least parrots, bringing joy to a person with their diversity, just as fish do on a reef. The birds chirped and sang roulades, praising the Almighty. But over time, the situation has changed. Either the Almighty turned away his face, or we are observing the consequences of his experiment, or there is no Almighty, and the laws of nature simply operate - in any case, the sparrows won in the evolutionary struggle. And now the remnants of the parrot tribe are in the care of people, under the protection of a cage in the lobby of the hotel. And sparrows attack unattended plates of food while hungry vacationers make their next round of pots, pans and bowls. Therefore, if someone wants to eat in the air, then someone with the first plate brought should be left on guard of collective interests.
As for the beach borers, there is nothing worse than them. Day after day, many times they approach each vacationer and offer their excursions with unbearable obsession. The matter is complicated by both their intraspecific and external struggle for bread.
Even at the very beginning, the guide assigned to us from the travel agency talked for a long time about the range of excursions, as if we had come here only for them. He spoke derogatoryly about beachgoers providing similar services, and immediately offered discounts to his original offer. A little later, one of the annoying, once again trying to board us, made a fiery speech in defense of beachgoers, against the damned guides. There was a certain logic in his words: the tour operator collects people from all the hotels available to him, forms large groups, which results in inevitable loss of time; here the prices are lower.
Another tour guide most shamelessly exchanged my pen, albeit a penny, but writing well, for his hotel pen, which writes poorly, calling the deal an excellent gift.
By the way, there are a lot of lizards here, and one is looking at me right now.
In order not to earn dilution of the brain, I had fun with versification and, taking care of my ladies, made them look for non-banal rhymes. The pinnacle of this activity can be considered the following fruit of our efforts:
Sunbathing with an open bust
Not prohibited by the Ministry of Justice.
As you can see, adults on the beach have something to do.
There is a regular bus service between the hotel and Hurghada. Once we wanted new sensations, and here we are in the city.
It seems that I already have immunity to local merchants, but still. . .
- Hey, Russian Casanova! Hey, one and a half wives! Sell one, sixty sheep ladies!
This, it must be understood, is an ordinary attraction of attention. Next, you will be asked to go to the store, just look, etc.
We especially note that a little later, the little sister was promoted:
“Hey, why do you need two wives? Sell one!
- Three hundred sheep! - I answer.
- Oh, the crest went! . .
By the way, polygamy is a very common practice, especially if you look at the issue mathematically. It's just that in some harems the number of wives is more than one, in others it is less, and so, basically, it fluctuates around one.
With each of the sellers should bargain. My fair lady is quite proficient in this art, and uses trading with one seller to find out the market price of the goods: if the next offered price the merchant reacts nervously and does not run after, nevertheless agreeing, then the price is really too low.
We did not like the next shop, and we moved on.
- Russian is shit! they shouted after us. - Russian is a beggar!
In another, we were told:
- Are you sick in the head? Get out!
Finally, thanks to advanced technique, we bought a dozen towels, never seen before ripe mangoes (always green in our area) and, for my percussion instrument, a cream-colored cotton hat.
For this headdress, the kid asked $ 12. After classical trading, there were two prices left: 6 - his, 5 - ours. We began to leave, he caught up with us and agreed, saying in the end that I have a very, very good wife.
Concluding the theme of Hurghada, it should be noted an unprecedented number of cats and cats (not that I can easily distinguish their gender from a distance, but I am sure that Muslim customs do not apply to them, and cat ladies walk the streets quite well, and without a veil). Perhaps we didn’t come across them before because of the greater heat, or maybe they just decided to breed them for the delight of tourists. We saw one cat in the hotel.
This text would be incomplete if I did not mention the amazingly delicious banana strudel. And donuts. And grapefruit. And dates. Yes, did I forget the croissants? . .
But it was not there. On the plane right behind us was a very voluminous and noisy female company, endlessly discussing a variety of subjects, incoherently jumping from one topic to another, at the same time constantly returning to the idea of u200bu200bfix - food.
“By the way, I have an exceptionally healthy diet, ” one said. - For a while I followed the Kremlin diet...
From culinary conversations there was nowhere to go. It was possible to try to fall asleep, but it was not possible to recline the seats back, since all the space behind was occupied. Through my drowsiness, I could hear a themed computer game being played there.
- Cutlets, cucumbers, tomatoes, spices...
Croissants, you forgot croissants!
The intensity of gastronomic passions subsided a little only after dinner was distributed.
Upon arrival at Hurghada airport, a familiar picture was observed: citizens of Arab nationality vyingly offered services, demonstrating to the arrivals tempting signs "Visas without a queue", "VIP service", etc. Some tourists used the services, paying not $ 15, but $ 17 for a visa, really no queue. After that, of course, the rest survived, without which the bus would not leave anyway.
The hotel turned out to be quite decent. The room was so clean that my half, going out onto the terrace, hit his head lightly on the completely transparent glass door. The day before, we read a lot of different reviews about the hotel, but who leaves them? Inadequate dissatisfied people. Others do not write any reviews, because they do not need it. They don't even care that "someone is wrong again on the Internet".
On the first evening we witnessed the clash of civilizations. A representative of one, having plucked himself up to the position of a robe, obviously suddenly felt a surge of creative energy and, for research purposes, sat down with a representative of another civilization, who did not speak Russian and was generally a little girl. The Russian scientist made incredible efforts to establish contact, optical and acoustic, but the girl did not make contact. She watched as her father approached. This was followed by an unsightly scene illustrating what can happen when we finally reach the stars: dad, physically superior to the natural scientist in all visible parameters, took him by the elbow with an iron grip and seated him at a free table, at the same time reading the notation in German. Our scientist was discouraged and shocked. All he could answer after a long pause was a question into the cosmic void: "Where are you from? . . "
Later, I repeatedly encountered situations in which I had to blush for my compatriots. For example, one company, lying on the beach, discussed whether it was worth splashing whiskey in the face of a certain foreigner the day before. Everyone agreed that it was not worth it, and in this they should be supported, but after all, the fact under discussion took place, and this is not good.
Ukrainian citizens of Ukraine often addressed the staff in MOV, unable to connect two words in any more common language.
By the way, the Arabs themselves, employed in the tourism business, speak English, German, Russian, Polish, French and, presumably, several more languages. In this regard, a natural question arises, why don't they all switch to some normal language at all, instead of writing their gibberish backwards. Well, here, of course, I am exaggerating: after all, Arabic itself is the language of interethnic communication, brought to the conquered tribes and peoples during the time of the Arab conquests.
When I first came to the beach and kicked the sand with my foot, the first thing I did was find a coin of 50 Ukrainian kopecks. Another evidence in favor of those who claim that the ancestors of the ancient Egyptians were protoukry.
The beach is not quite suitable for simply entering the sea: fossilized growths of corals begin behind a flat shallow, and then the bottom abruptly goes to an almost impenetrable depth. But right at the pontoon, a huge number of colorful and different-sized (from centi- to half-meter) fish bustle about, the names of which I don’t know. Mask, snorkel, fins - and you can swim along the coastline, admire the coral beauty and chase the fish for at least half an hour, at least an hour. Doesn't get bored.
Somehow, right by the shore, I picked up a large shell in which something living lived. It opened its eyes and even raised itself in its bed to get a better look at me. We winked at each other and I threw him away.
Several times, moving away from the shore, in the blue depths, I saw measuredly swimming fish the size of a man, who didn’t care about people feeding coastal small fry. Several times, very close to the reef, we saw dolphins, and once there were even clouds over the Red Sea.
There is nothing for children to do on the beach, except to build sand and sea foam castles. Ladies, by and large, too, but they still find a way to enjoy it. Sitting on the shallows, using an air mattress or just floating near the pontoon. A few days later, when it stormed and a red flag hoisted over the pontoon strongly against swimming, our attention was awarded to the pools. And some of them were even filled with salt water. Without fish and corals, but in a sense - almost the sea.
Swimming in a storm is not very interesting: bottom silt rises up, the water becomes cloudy, although it is visible many meters deep, garbage rises from the bottom like floating plastic bags that have not been seen before. By the way, I was once again convinced of the anthropogenic nature of UFOs when I saw a mysteriously floating plastic glass in the abyss of the sea.
One day we went in search of adventure, along the coast, outside the cultivated area. It cannot be argued that where we came, the foot of a man did not set foot, but she did not set foot there at this particular moment: we found a deserted, surrounded by gray-green-yellow stones, a blue lagoon. In it, wandering on foot on the sand and enjoying life, I noticed a very curious object. It was something that looked like a severed octopus tentacle, white with a brownish diamond pattern. It could also be mistaken for a piece of coral of a variety that I have not yet encountered. There was something like green algae on the thicker end, which was pushing for the latest version. However, before proceeding with the direct examination and getting the object out of the water, I took some safety measures, namely, I pointed my special anti-coral slippers with rubber soles on the green end and tried to move the object. At that moment, I remembered how a certain old man, who wore a simple rag on his body and wore nothing on his legs, amused himself by teasing the vipers with his heel, so rough that bites were nothing to him.
The object moved slowly. I hold a camera in my hands and try to take pictures, but the slight roughness of the water interferes. And then the object suddenly began to squirm - and rushed away.
Miracles of dexterity were demonstrated by my sister. She instantly climbed onto a stone protruding from the water at least a meter. She refused to get down until I went around her shelter several times and convinced that there was no snake under the stone. Maybe it was a coral eel?
Despite the worries and fears, a day later we went there again, it’s very beautiful there. This time the precautions were heightened: the ladies walked along the shore. However, this time there was no snake. On the other hand, natives wandered around us, without hotel uniforms, that is, locals. The older one was poking at the sea with an iron wire rod, the others just looked at us with curiosity. It’s hard to say what they all did specifically, but one of them greeted me friendly, saying, as is customary here, “halo”. And when we were returning back, and I carried my lady to the shore in my arms, the aborigine picked up his friend and cheerfully began to transport him in the same way. We waved our hands at each other.
Among other irritants that the thoughtful reader should be aware of, flies, sparrows and beach pests should be singled out separately. I ordered these three entities not only in order of increasing caliber, but also in terms of the degree of world evil concentrated in them.
So flies are just flies. Whether they are attracted by the smell of watermelons and melons eaten on the beach, or the contents of a bag dangling under the tail of a camel - a local fashion model, or a craving for the pure art of annoying. One way or another, they have to be dismissed as importunate New Chroniclers, supporters of the spelling "in Ukraine" and other Jehovah's Witnesses.
Sparrows are a different story. It is possible that once upon a time there lived birds of paradise, or at least parrots, bringing joy to a person with their diversity, just as fish do on a reef. The birds chirped and sang roulades, praising the Almighty. But over time, the situation has changed. Either the Almighty turned away his face, or we are observing the consequences of his experiment, or there is no Almighty, and the laws of nature simply operate - in any case, the sparrows won in the evolutionary struggle. And now the remnants of the parrot tribe are in the care of people, under the protection of a cage in the lobby of the hotel. And sparrows attack unattended plates of food while hungry vacationers make their next round of pots, pans and bowls. Therefore, if someone wants to eat in the air, then someone with the first plate brought should be left on guard of collective interests.
As for the beach borers, there is nothing worse than them. Day after day, many times they approach each vacationer and offer their excursions with unbearable obsession. The matter is complicated by both their intraspecific and external struggle for bread.
Even at the very beginning, the guide assigned to us from the travel agency talked for a long time about the range of excursions, as if we had come here only for them. He spoke derogatoryly about beachgoers providing similar services, and immediately offered discounts to his original offer. A little later, one of the annoying, once again trying to board us, made a fiery speech in defense of beachgoers, against the damned guides. There was a certain logic in his words: the tour operator collects people from all the hotels available to him, forms large groups, which results in inevitable loss of time; here the prices are lower.
Another tour guide most shamelessly exchanged my pen, albeit a penny, but writing well, for his hotel pen, which writes poorly, calling the deal an excellent gift.
By the way, there are a lot of lizards here, and one is looking at me right now.
In order not to earn dilution of the brain, I had fun with versification and, taking care of my ladies, made them look for non-banal rhymes. The pinnacle of this activity can be considered the following fruit of our efforts:
Sunbathing with an open bust
Not prohibited by the Ministry of Justice.
As you can see, adults on the beach have something to do.
There is a regular bus service between the hotel and Hurghada. Once we wanted new sensations, and here we are in the city.
It seems that I already have immunity to local merchants, but still. . .
- Hey, Russian Casanova! Hey, one and a half wives! Sell one, sixty sheep ladies!
This, it must be understood, is an ordinary attraction of attention. Next, you will be asked to go to the store, just look, etc.
We especially note that a little later, the little sister was promoted:
“Hey, why do you need two wives? Sell one!
- Three hundred sheep! - I answer.
- Oh, the crest went! . .
By the way, polygamy is a very common practice, especially if you look at the issue mathematically. It's just that in some harems the number of wives is more than one, in others it is less, and so, basically, it fluctuates around one.
With each of the sellers should bargain. My fair lady is quite proficient in this art, and uses trading with one seller to find out the market price of the goods: if the next offered price the merchant reacts nervously and does not run after, nevertheless agreeing, then the price is really too low.
We did not like the next shop, and we moved on.
- Russian is shit! they shouted after us. - Russian is a beggar!
In another, we were told:
- Are you sick in the head? Get out!
Finally, thanks to advanced technique, we bought a dozen towels, never seen before ripe mangoes (always green in our area) and, for my percussion instrument, a cream-colored cotton hat.
For this headdress, the kid asked $ 12. After classical trading, there were two prices left: 6 - his, 5 - ours. We began to leave, he caught up with us and agreed, saying in the end that I have a very, very good wife.
Concluding the theme of Hurghada, it should be noted an unprecedented number of cats and cats (not that I can easily distinguish their gender from a distance, but I am sure that Muslim customs do not apply to them, and cat ladies walk the streets quite well, and without a veil). Perhaps we didn’t come across them before because of the greater heat, or maybe they just decided to breed them for the delight of tourists. We saw one cat in the hotel.
This text would be incomplete if I did not mention the amazingly delicious banana strudel. And donuts. And grapefruit. And dates. Yes, did I forget the croissants? . .
Translated automatically from Russian. View original
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