Trip to Eilat
Comrades and gentlemen Russian tourists! If you are going to go to Israel on vacation, get ready for the fact that no one is waiting for us there! That is, they, of course, do not refuse our money, but here we are, in addition to the money, as if they were completely undesirable there!
So, everything is in order. Of course, all of us who wanted to escape from the cold weather of our homeland for a few days were strongly taunted by the fellahs of the Ebipets, who started the booze, instead of serving the vacationers and cutting their light loot! And my wife and I, like many probably, decided to go in February to where the sea is more or less warm, and since flying to distant countries like Thailand or India is dreary and long, I decided, having believed the description on tourist sites, to go to Eilat ( hotel "Isrotel Yam Suf"). I gave 75 tyr of honestly earned rubles for two, and after praying, I went to Sharik-D.
Aeroflot honestly did its job, and after 4 hours brought our bodies to the former Ovda military airfield in the Godforsaken desert 65 miles away from Eilat for your domestic flights! ).
They sat down successfully right in the middle of an unearthly desert landscape - from a ladder that rolled up to the board on the basis of a battered jeep brought by the allied Pindos, apparently back in the days of the six-day war, to the building of a field airport of the "barn" type, it was necessary to advance in dashes, despite the hard khamsin that had begun . From the outside, the run was very reminiscent of either a landing in occupied Iraq, or the arrival of especially dangerous criminals deported from Earth to the lunar zone in the near future (as shown in Hollywood films).
After standing in a long queue at passport control, we went to the baggage claim area. Having received a suitcase with legs torn off with meat and a retractable handle, they reached for customs control. At the same time, a dog breeder constantly walked in the hall with a huge dog without a muzzle, which chaotically poked its impressive mouth first at the suitcases of passengers, then at human legs. Many women (including my wife), who apparently did not trust dogs very much in terms of their own safety, were seriously worried, which greatly amused the guide with the physiognomy of a second-year correctional school, who periodically snickered and cast victorious glances in the direction of four more customs officers dressed like that. to the warriors of Old Man Makhno, who is into what much.
Passing into the adjacent hall-corridor with an X-ray machine and three attendants in the same motley clothes, I immediately attracted the attention of one of the gurgles with his two packages from Moscow Duty free with two bottles of whiskey and four liquor. My suitcase and bag were gutted to the bottom, and it was announced to me that I could import Baileys only by paying a fee of 172 dollars (with a total cost of 60 euros! (Yes, Russian customs in the field of import duties on foreign cars have much grow and who to look up to! ) Of course, not being a clinical idiot, I left this swill at the mercy of the lawless people.
Then the bus, after an hour and a half of delivery, delivered us to Isrotel Yam Suf, where we expected to lick our spiritual wounds and start to rest “to spite all deaths”, but it wasn’t there: at the reception, crossing out everything advertised on tourist sites bullshit about "Russian-speaking employees", there was a young boy with a complicated name on his badge, who did not know a word of Russian (looking ahead: his replacement is also on the "great and mighty" "no belmes or gugu", as well as none of the other service (for the most part, natives of the black continent), -well, okay, I remembered the school English course, somehow explained, he gave me a key card, on the packaging of which he wrote our room number by hand .......after I clarified by numbers : “This is the number 4-3-7”? He, without hesitation, confirmed, and my wife and I, taking an armful of a suitcase without a handle and a bag, dragged our belongings (there are no porters in this hotel at all !!!
), as you suggest, on the 4th floor, -everything would be fine, -one ambush: the numbers there ended with 434th! After waddling along the long corridors of the 4th and for complete confidence and the 5th floor with all the belongings, including the long-suffering suitcase (and you can’t leave him like a wounded comrade, damn it! ), Leaving his wife half dead from fatigue and thirst with luggage, I went down to the reception again, and only with the help of a new settler speaking Hebrew, I found out that our number turned out to be the 432nd, and as for the seven handwritten by the servant in the card, it turns out that he just handwriting such as "7" as "2" draws!
Okay, we settled in: the lamp is off, the sink is clogged, the broken-down lock in the door reacts to the key card from the tenth or even the twentieth time, there is no wi-fi Internet in the lobby either - you have to go to a nearby cafe; and, the top of incomprehensible redneck - the standard LG TV is reflashed so that all other inputs, except for the TV antenna with one Russian channel, are blocked, - it turned out to be impossible to watch the accumulated films downloaded to the laptop on a normal screen - I had to look at the underbook, wasting the cords. Previously, (as experienced travelers write), hoteliers stupidly sealed the input contactor on the board with tape. Illogical, stupid, and therefore more offensive small-town redneck). Attaching a video camera with future footage of underwater beauties, too, of course, turned out to be an unattainable dream! On a piece of the beach, where you can put hotel sunbeds for free, they brought "sand" (as small gravel is called here).
In the evening, the numbers were smashed memos that tomorrow the beach will be closed until 15 o'clock. In real life, for 2 full days, people were forced to go to the neighboring paid beach ($ 4.3 per sunbed), or wallow on the rocks, while the hard workers for 2 days in front of our eyes were basking on piles of rubble in picturesque poses of hunters at a halt and poisoned stories. By the middle of the second day, someone like a foreman appeared, who shouted at the kabyzdohs to move their rakes, raking heaps of dry substance, not bothering to pour water on them from a hose lying nearby, as a result: all those sunbathing inhale the clouds of dust with a full chest!
On Friday, locals come in with a lot of children who are allowed to do almost everything, and there is a complete feeling of a noisy and guttural gypsy camp! On the beach and in the dining room, full house. On Saturday evening, though they are leaving, it becomes quieter.
With traveler's checks, a complete ambush: banks DO NOT CHANGE AT ALL!
The hucksters offer a very low rate, I found out by experience that you can change at the post office in the array on the mountain opposite the airport, there is also a dirty grocery store nearby, but it’s better to take it there, the prices are lower than in private small shops, such as ours, sheathed with siding “khach- shops” for some necessary goods (for the same water, for example), several times. Be prepared for security lines at the entrance to shops, cinemas, post offices, etc.
About the most important: there is NO ordinary drinking water! Only at dinner or breakfast they give it with ice in decanters (judging by the hospital-chemical smell that is the same as the bathroom), they pour it without steaming, just from the tap (or from the drain tank, xs). So for water (and you need to drink constantly, because.
hot and very low humidity) had to organize expeditions; that is, having paid more than two and a half thousand bucks for the rest, they had to drag in the heat from the "supermarket-24" located a kilometer away, packages of ordinary water! By the way, the prices in Eilat are considerable (and this is in a city that is entirely declared a free economic zone! ), something like this: a glass of pomegranate juice - more than $ 7, an ice cream cone - $ 5, slippers for corals in the shopping center canyon "moll a-yam" $ 60 , although at first they asked for 70. A slice of pizza and a 250-gram bottle of water in "sbarro" - $ 7.
On the way back, despite the issued receipt, the liquor was not returned to me, of course: the security guards nodded at the passport officers, they generally went somewhere in an indefinite direction. As a result, they fooled me to no avail for another hour - they would have said right away that they would not return it - what this whole game of the "rule of law" is for is unclear. At the departure of many shmonali hard, right up to undressing.
Do not take pictures of local residents, and God forbid you take exotic shots with military equipment (of which there are many at the entrance to the city) or patrols - you won’t get any problems at the border when leaving!
To sum up: as it was sung in the classic film: “think for yourself, decide for yourself…. » To fly or not to fly! Of the pluses there, only the sea with fish and a mild sunny climate, the rest is clearly not for us. In addition, it seems (glory to Him! ), The new Ebipetian rulers - warriors, finally realized that they couldn’t get money from anywhere except from tourists, and convincingly urged their donkey-loving subjects not to “blow and disperse”, that is, to return to their jobs and serve the "mass" of the tourist! So, I hope to go to Egypt next year, and forget the current trip like an unpleasant dream.
P. S. Who still decides to go here: do not go to the center, in the so-called.
"Malls" - there are the same rags, fashion shoes and various shiny tinsel unnecessary for tourists on all three floors. Everything a tourist needs (souvenirs, magnets, beach hats, fins, masks, food, booze and beer) is at a lower price in a five-minute walk in the "24-hour supermarket". Do not buy a SIM card for conversations with Russia in an exchange at a mall for 150 nis (a huckster grits, like 1 nis.
