Montenegro - heaven or hell for tourists?
I am writing this article because I learned from personal bitter experience the rest in "fabulous Montenegro". I want people to know about this "miracle country" before deciding to rest in it.
And so, I live in Kyiv (Ukraine) and decided to fly with a girl from August 12 to 19.2017 (6 full days, do not count the day of arrival and day of departure) by plane to Montenegro.
I had previously read all sorts of advertising "lure" on the websites of travel agencies and decided to get into a fairy tale as soon as possible. Then I realized that it really turned out to be a fairy tale, but in a different sense: the further it goes, it gets worse and worse.
And so, the tour was booked through the travel agency "Let's go with us. " It cost almost 700 euros (including round trip plane tickets for 2 people, accommodation in Budva without meals in a double room (all inclusive is practically not accepted in Montenegro), transfer from the airport and back, and insurance for two). I must say that I have no particular complaints about the agency. An employee of this agency, Ksenia Sokolova, was in touch even when we were already in Montenegro and promptly resolved emerging issues. Nothing seemed to portend a "storm", but the problems with Montenegro began in Kyiv. And so, in order.
I tried to book a car in advance to travel around Montenegro. I went to the car rental website http://www. montirentacar. com , chose a convertible, contacted via viber - they agreed that I would make a deposit using the freeze 200 euros on my card. So they did, BUT on the same day after lunch they called me on viber and said that this car had already been taken away !! ! At first I could not understand how: we agreed? But then I realized the reason: the Internet is teeming with car intermediaries who do not have their own cars, but simply advertise other people's cars, freeze your money on the card, and only then contact the real owners of the cars. If some other intermediary has not yet stolen the car from the owner, then you will get it, if not, you will be unfrozen the bag on the card, but not earlier than in a week. So, you will have to turn to another intermediary who will freeze you 200 euros again and, if you are not lucky, this “freeze” can continue until you run out of money on the card, and at the same time you may not have any car to rent. I was lucky for the second time with another distributor, and the first distributor thawed the money as much as on the 8th day. Of course, you can come to Montenegro and rent a car right there, but then you will have to take what no one else wanted to take: a wreck that is scary to get into.
We took a 2006 Peugeot 308 cc convertible. All my life I dreamed of buying a convertible, but experienced drivers once dissuaded me from doing this, saying: well, where are you going to drive a convertible in Ukraine, especially in Kiev? In Montenegro, I realized that they were right and here's why:
- a convertible, like any other car, has front side pillars and an upper crossbar above the windshield - so, like in an ordinary car, you had to bend forward to view the sights through the windshield (the upper crossbar blocked the view);
- on the second day of driving with an open top, we realized that we caught a little cold, because the wind blows from all sides, and this despite the fact that the air temperature was +30, and the speed of the car did not exceed 50 km / h. So, I had to raise the side windows, so as not to blow, but this is not the same (you feel like in an ordinary car);
- further it was even worse: hot days began at 36-37 degrees and it became uncomfortable to ride with an open top - the sun was hot in the back of the head and even the already open windows did not help. As a result, I had to close the top of the car and turn on the air conditioner;
- this machine attracted a lot of envious glances (especially during opening and closing), which then turned into a considerable disaster for us, which I will write about later.
One plus from this experience: I realized what a fine fellow I was, that at one time I did not buy a convertible and did not overpay for "show-offs" (opening mechanism) 10.000 dollars. compared to an ordinary machine of the same class). You can rent a cabriolet for one evening for a photo session, but driving it for several days is not comfortable and expensive (renting a cabriolet for a day was 65 euros compared to an ordinary car - 40 euros / day). The trunk of a convertible is practically absent - you have to carry things in the cabin and close the top of the car every time you leave it even for a few minutes. So, a convertible is more suitable as a 3-5 car in the fleet of some millionaire than the only car of an average citizen.
In general, about rental cars in Montenegro, I will say that their condition wants to be the best, and here's why:
- a lot of bent and scratched cars (narrow roads affect which you can't pass each other);
- the wheels are worn out and through the practical absence of a tread they easily break through;
- due to the constant driving, the nuts on the wheels themselves are twisted so much that the key itself cannot change the wheel on the road - the necessary special devices are needed to unscrew them. Therefore, you have to call a tow truck (50 euros at least);
- the ignition keys often get stuck in the socket and sometimes it is not possible to remove them for 5 minutes.
So, be prepared for such surprises if you rent a car in Montenegro, even if it is a luxury car, for example, a convertible.
GUIDE
The meeting party upon arrival in Tivat was the R-Tours travel agency, and the guide was Nikolai, who, while still on the bus, handed out a list of excursions to everyone and invited everyone to an introductory meeting (at which he promised to tell in detail about all the excursions) the very next day at 14:30. It is strange, why not immediately after arrival?
When I compared the prices for the excursions that Nikolai distributed, and the prices for the same excursions in other agencies in Budva, I noticed that our guide had most of the excursions 10 euros more expensive. This Nikolai, most likely, had his own interest, so that excursions would be ordered precisely in R-tours. Therefore, we did not go to an introductory meeting, but decided to travel around the country on our own.
But then Nikolai remembered such "disrespect" for his excursions. The evening before my flight back, I called him and asked him when the bus to the airport would be served tomorrow. Instead of answering, he immediately asked if I was at his introductory meeting. I answered no. He then said that now it is my problem how I will get to the airport, and hung up. It's good that I also had the phone number of Oksana Sokolova from the travel agency "Let's go with us" (in Ukraine). I called her and she herself phoned the Montenegrin partners and found out when and where the bus to the airport would be waiting. Thank her for that.
It turns out that all tourists in Montenegro must register within 24 hours in the city of settlement - some kind of relic of Soviet Yugoslavia with a residence permit. For each day of your stay in the country, you have to pay, it seems, 1 euro, but we had a tour and the owner of the villa where we stayed did it for us, BUT we were not given our passports on the day of arrival, but already the next day late in the evening, and it became a very big problem because the car rental company didn't want to give us a car without a passport. It’s good that I took a photocopy of my passport with me from home, and this saved us.
Who does not take the tour must register on their own, but stand in line (up to 3 hours according to people). If, nevertheless, you do not register, then during the departure you will still have to pay a registration fee and, possibly, a fine to boot. So I'm wondering, but they can not let out of the country for this? I'm ready to believe.
VILLAS, HOTELS, APARTMENTS
Be careful when choosing a place of residence, because in Montenegro there may be, for example, the Zvezda Hotel, the Zvezda Villa and the Zvezda Apartments. All of them will be completely different places and can be located in different parts of not only the city, but throughout Montenegro. So, do not be surprised that you are settled in the "Star", but it will not be the same "Star" at all and not in the place that you imagined.
In order not to fall for such a bait, before booking accommodation, specify its name and address in detail.
By the way, in an apartment or a villa (an ordinary private house where tourists live) there may not be a reception and a permanent person on duty, which greatly complicates communication with the owner of the villa - this is especially inconvenient when you have to return your passports after registration .
Full-fledged reception exists in hotels, but hotel accommodation will be an order of magnitude more expensive.
TRAFFIC POLICE
The fines are huge (several hundred euros), so everyone drives by the rules
There are a lot of police on the roads, so it's better not to tempt fate.
They can stop just like that for no reason. I was stopped simply by asking where my convertible came from, where I was going and what country I was from. I still don't understand the reason for the stop. Perhaps he saw a convertible and thought that he would try to earn extra money on me? But there was no fine - especially since I was driving slowly.
There are a lot of speed limit signs of 50.40 and even 30 km/h. At the same time, the “+20 km/h” rule, which, as in Ukraine, is not fined, does not work here. With a sign of 30 km/h, they can be fined even for driving at 31 km/h.
Because of such a speed limit, you constantly do not have time to see beautiful places: the route is 200 km long, you can drive 6 hours, and if you stop for photos, then all 8. Therefore, you often had to return to the hotel after it got dark , and sometimes not even see the sights that you have planned.
It is almost impossible to stay for free - everything is busy, especially in the beach area. If you park under the sign, the car will be picked up by a tow truck. Once a policeman came up to me for illegal parking and threatened that if I didn’t pick up the car right away, then it would be evacuated. Therefore, I had to park in paid parking lots. Prices from 0.5 euros to 2 euros per hour !!! . It is almost impossible to negotiate for less money or stop for 5 minutes for free to take a photo of the area. Moreover, if you stand in the parking lot for 1 hour and 1 second, you will be told to pay as for 2 hours - it is useless to prove something. This stubbornness really pissed me off. In Ukraine, you can almost always find a common language with a parking attendant - after all, people. But in Montenegro, this is almost impossible. But the worst thing is their roads!!!
And so, the road covered with virtually no holes. The main roads are even without patches, but the secondary roads are patched, but also without holes. It would seem, what else do you want? But the HUGE PROBLEM is that they are very narrow. Even main roads almost everywhere have only one lane in each direction, and secondary roads just have one lane a little wider than a car. That is, in order to pass each other on it, both cars need to pull over to the side of the road and fold the side mirrors. And that's not all: often one of the drivers just needs to stop and let the oncoming car crawl, which crawls literally 5 cm (this is not an exaggeration) from the side of another car. And that's not all either: often the road can be so narrow that one of the drivers, in order to miss each other, has to backtrack 50-100 meters and look for at least some pocket to let another car pass. If you think that this is all, then you are mistaken: a narrow road 3 meters wide, as a rule, goes along the edge of an abyss several hundred meters deep and there is no bump stop. At best, there will be large stones on the edge of the abyss as a fence, and often nothing at all - if you gape, you will fall straight into the abyss. Damn, I also forgot to say that this narrow road, as a rule, has a mountain serpentine of several 180-degree turns per kilometer. Now imagine: you are driving along the edge of the abyss (to your right); the edge of the road is not fenced off; road width 3 meters (slightly wider than your car); you drove 50 meters back a miniature pocket at the turn for passing cars and then another car meets you !! ! And you have to turn back 50 meters along the unfenced edge of the abyss until you return to that very small pocket for passing, being guided only in the rear-view mirror. There is no time to contemplate the beauties of nature, here you are sweating and dreaming at least to stay alive. By the way, on such narrow roads there are a lot of wreaths in memory of the dead drivers. I personally counted more than 10. So, driving on such roads is a complete hassle. Each car (behind or in front) is perceived as a curse and causes you a bunch of mats, and you had to drive around with cars every 5 minutes. So, imagine how exhausted you will be after an hour of just one hour of driving on such roads.
You may ask: why drive on such roads? Lie on the beach and that's it. You see, according to the law of the bastard, the most beautiful places are at the same time the most inaccessible - only such terrible roads lead to them. It is not for nothing that the country is called Montenegro, and not Chernomoria - all the beauty is there in the mountains, and not on the sea.
It is difficult to take photos on Montenegrin roads - often there is no roadside and you just have to stop on the roadway. But you will immediately be propped up by another car, either from behind or in front, and will not allow you to take a photo. Therefore, I often had to take photos directly from the car without getting out of it, but only by slowing down for a second - it was very annoying and angry.
In short, renting a car in Montenegro can only be advised if:
- you are over 30 and you are a confident driver who has been driving a car for 10 years;
- you are not a fan of driving at a speed of 100 km/h or more;
- you have at least one trip in a private car in the mountainous Crimea behind you (the Carpathians are not suitable, there are no serpentines there).
If you do not meet the above requirements and decide to rent a car in Montenegro, you risk not only nerves, but also your health or even life (it’s not just that there are so many wreaths near the roads).
At a car rental company, I was told stories about how people, out of inexperience, drove down from asphalt roads to roads strewn with stones, and then could not climb the highway on their own and were pulled onto the highway with a winch and 100 m of cable.
Personally, with me at the car rental, one couple returned the hit car after the rental - they didn’t fit into the turn on the serpentine.
So, the roads of Montenegro are not for nervous drivers.
Now remember the especially dangerous parts of the road:
1. Descent from Mount Lovcen along the serpentine to Kotor.
2. The road from the Crnojevic River to Virpazar and further along the Skadar Lake to the village of Livari.
3. Descent-serpentine from Durmitor to Piva Lake.
4. Ascent and descent along the serpentine to Ostrog.
5. Road along Nevidio canyon.
6. Serpentine from Cetinje to Budva and from Virpazar to Petrovac (but here at least the road is wide)
7. There is another road to the Curse mountain range through the territory of Albania, but I didn’t go there myself and no one in the Montenegrin car rental companies confirmed whether it was 100% completed or not. Therefore, it is better not to go there at all. Photos from 2016 of the Albanian part of this road on Google will make even the most daring shudder. Admire: https://www. google. com. ua/maps/@42.5328417, 19.6711019, 3a, 75y, 292.16h, 84.51t/data=! 3m6.1e1.3m4.1soHS8KAw0TD0y4qL1ei0htg! 2e0.7i13312.8i6656? hl=en
ROAD SIGHTSEEING PLACES
As I already wrote, there are not so many places to stop on the roads, but even those that are found are clogged with all sorts of rubbish: not just pieces of paper, bags, cellophane, etc. , but also things more serious like broken glass , sharp iron objects. In addition, there are a lot of sharp stones on the side of the road, running into which it is easy to break the wheel. At one of these parking lots, we broke one wheel. This is not surprising, especially considering the worn out wheels of rental cars. And I also think that it was not without the envious glances of others at our convertible. In short, they pierced the wheel not far from Kolasin on a wide, by their standards, road. It was unrealistic to unscrew the nuts yourself - they spun tightly. I had to call a tow truck, for which they paid 50 euros. It was impossible to seal the tire - I noticed the cut late and managed to chew it, so I had to buy a new one for 47 euros + 7 euros for work, since I had to unscrew the wheel specially with automatic equipment - in general, they flew into 104 euros and lost more than 2 hours of precious time. At the same time, at the tire fitting, we were told that we were still lucky that the tire was pierced on the highway, and not on a mountain serpentine - you can’t call a tow truck there. I would have to go down on a broken wheel myself, completely bend the disc and then buy not only a tire, but a whole wheel - all this would have cost not 100 euros, but it’s scary to think how much.
I understand that in the places of stops on the road, mostly tourists themselves crap, but they also leave millions of euros in Montenegro - so, gentlemen, Montenegrins, be kind enough to clean the roadsides yourself.
CORKS
Another horror of Montenegro. We got into the first 1-hour traffic jam immediately after arriving in Tivat during the transfer to Budva. This was only the first bell, because traffic jams and drags accompanied us during car trips everywhere: in Budva, Becichi, Bar, Ulcinj. It was very reminiscent of Kyiv at rush hour, knocked out of the schedule and greatly ruffled the nerves due to the fact that precious time was spent in viscous, and not on the beach or in the mountains. I will describe one cork in more detail. Near Ulcinj there is a Big beach for 14 km almost to the border with Albania. We arrived there at 19:30. On the way, we noticed a line of cars several kilometers long in the oncoming lane. We asked the locals if there was an accident. We were told that it's just people returning from the beach and this is normal. We stayed on the beach until 20:30. Went back to the track - no change. We sat down in a cafe, sat until 22:00 and only then slowly drove off. In short, that evening we reached Budva (where we settled) after one in the morning. This traffic jam reminded me of a traffic jam in Kyiv at 19:00 on Pobedy Avenue during its overhaul.
TOURS
- then on the way back we stopped in Kotor for a walking tour. Nothing good either, because the guide spoke without a loudspeaker and could not be heard at all. The walking tour itself was more like a game of "catch up with the guide" - it was clear that she just wanted to quickly earn her money and take on another group. When we were given free time for a photo for about an hour, we had to literally run around the city to see everything. We didn’t order more excursions - we were fed up with one.
Whoever believes in fairy tales about the clean beaches of Montenegro, let him immediately go down to earth - public beaches are dirty like in Odessa (everywhere is full of cigarette butts, bits, pieces of paper, bags, cellophane, etc. ). We visited public beaches in Budva (Slavic Beach, Mogren), Becici, Ulcinj - everywhere is dirty. In Budva, several stinky rivers flow through the beach, which carry the weight of rubbish from the city to the sea. For a European resort, this is unacceptable. And there are a lot of people there - you have to take a place from the early morning, as in the USSR. On the beaches belonging to the hotels, the situation with cleanliness is better, but if you are not from this hotel, then you will be asked to leave. There are still beaches that will be allowed on, but you must definitely take a sun lounger (at least 10 euros, and in the town of Sveti Stefan I even saw the price of 100 euros). If you drove by car near the beach and popped in for half an hour to swim and then go to other attractions, then you will still be sold a sun lounger and nothing else. This is Europe - pay everywhere.
BEACH ATTRACTIONS
All beach attractions are more expensive than in Turkey and Egypt. For example, flying on a parachute costs 65 euros. In Turkey, the figure will definitely be smaller and it will be calculated in dollars, not euros, although the views from a height will not be worse.
It's the same with diving. But what kind of diving is there in Montenegro - there are no corals there, as in Egypt.
We didn't try a scooter, a catamaran, water liches - all this is several times cheaper in Ukraine.
WATER
The water is like in the Black Sea - about 20-24 degrees. You can’t sit for more than 10 minutes - it’s cold. And this is in early August, when it is 30-36 degrees outside. So sitting for half an hour or an hour in the sea as in Turkey or Egypt will not work - you will catch a cold. By the way, there were several constantly coughing and sneezing people on the plane back - a strange phenomenon for returning from a hot resort.
The water itself is full of cigarette butts, cores, pieces of paper, bags, cellophane, etc. - this is understandable: since there are on the beach, they will be in the sea.
Often entering the sea is quite problematic due to large stones at the bottom.
There is another problem in the water that you don’t encounter in the Black Sea - these are underwater urchins, stepping on which, you won’t even be able to walk for several days. I personally did not step on a hedgehog, but I saw people with bandaged feet on crutches. Locals offer tourists to buy special swimming shoes for 10 euros to protect themselves from hedgehogs.
The coast is quite beautiful, but if you have been to the Crimea before, then the pure coast itself will not surprise you much, except perhaps more palms and other Mediterranean plants. All the beauty of the country is in the depths of the continent, but, alas, you will have to go there on dangerous roads.
CASTLES AND OLD TOWNS
Castles are well preserved in Budva, Petrovac, especially in Ulcinj, but in Bar there are only ruins. If you have seen the castles of Ukraine (Belgorod-Dnestrovsky, Kamenets-Podolsky, Khotyn, Lutsk) and Crimea (Sudak), then Montenegro will not amaze you with its castles - so-so, not bad.
The only thing that Ukraine does not have, but exists in Montenegro, is the medieval old parts of the cities in Budva, Ulcinj, Petrovac, Kotor.
WATERFALLS, LAKES, MOUNTAIN RIVERS, VEGETATION
The biggest tourist scam is advertising waterfalls. The waterfalls are full-flowing only in late autumn (from rains) and early spring (from melting snow) - that is, not in the summer season, so you will not see waterfalls. We “visited” the Niagara waterfall (near Podgorica), the waterfall near the Moraca monastery, the Skakavitsa waterfall - we didn’t even notice a stream anywhere. Everything dried up. One local showed us on his tablet what the Skakavitsa waterfall looks like in October - that's all the waterfalls we saw.
The lakes became very shallow, especially Lake Skadar and Piva Lake, and Black Lake due to drought, in general, was divided into 2 lakes. It is almost impossible to swim in these lakes, because you have to walk ankle-deep in a swamp to get to the water, and Skadar Lake, to complete happiness, even began to bloom and stink. Locals advised not to climb into it because of the large number of bacteria.
We also visited Lake Shask (near Ulcinj) - it did not become shallow, but there was no beach there. This lake is more for fishing than for swimming.
The only lake that was quite full-flowing and did not stink was Lake Biograd (behind Kolasin), but this is a mountain lake and you can’t swim in it for more than 5 minutes - the water temperature is less than 20 degrees.
The canyons of the Tara, Moraca, and Nevidio canyons are beautiful, but because of the half-dried rivers, they don't make the impression that you see on travel agency websites.
Vegetation is very burnt out in the sun and looks red like in autumn, not green, in some places there are whole patches of really burnt forest. During the trip, the mountains caught several times the haze and the smell of burning trees.
On the coast, palm trees do not cut withered branches, and they make a sad look.
CHURCHES AND MONASTERIES
Very often, churches and monasteries in Montenegro are more like shops selling icons, books, necklaces, etc. than holy places. I was especially struck by Ostrog - the third Orthodox shrine in the WORLD !! ! The cave with holy relics occupied a small area of literally 10-15 square meters, but a store selling all sorts of things could easily accommodate 100-200 people. The behavior of some monks was also surprising: they walk around the courtyard joking, having fun, while in Ostrog, in addition to tourists, really crippled and seriously ill people arrived with the last hope for healing. It becomes unpleasant when religion turns into business. Out of spite, we did not buy anything in that store, but simply bowed to the holy relics, took a photo of the monastery and quickly left.
FOOD
Mediterranean cuisine pleased with seafood. Portions are big enough but pricey. If you order fish soup, seafood salad and rice or pasta in Budva, then you can hardly invest 15 euros per person. Multiply by 3 times a day and you get about 50 euros for food per person. At the same time, do not think that you will be able to overeat expensive varieties of sea fish - you just won’t feel hungry (some fish cost 50 euros per serving, but I generally keep quiet about a serving of oysters). Of course, you can eat one pizza and drink water, then invest 20 euros a day, but this will no longer be a vacation, but a test. In short, count on 50 euros per day per person for food if you don't want to feel like a homeless person.
TOURISTS
A million and two things from all over Europe and the CIS came to the people. The embankment of Budva, Ulcinj in the evening resembles more of the metro in Kyiv from 8 to 9 in the morning - do not break through. On the embankment, one had to literally squeeze through the crowd. Sometimes they stepped on our feet. After 8 pm, they tried to leave the embankment - it’s more expensive for yourself, as they say, to stay there.
LOCAL RELATIONSHIP WITH TOURISTS
Near cafes and restaurants, locals are ready to just kiss you, as long as you go into their establishment and leave a few tens of euros there. But we must understand that such an attitude is not from great love, but from great self-interest.
The true attitude of the locals is shown when you park your car at someone's gate or, due to your inexperience in driving on serpentines, you drive a little to the opposite side of the road - they will immediately start shouting in their incomprehensible language and waving their arms. Most likely, they were matyuki, but I did not understand them, and this made it easier for me.
TIVAT AIRPORT
Tivat Airport is more like a refugee camp - there is a catastrophic lack of seating, and people have to either just stand or sit right on the floor. I was very surprised by the aircraft landing warning system - airport workers run around the hall and shout with an accent: Maskva, Adesa, Kiev.
It was interesting to compare the faces of the same people who flew out of Kyiv (joyful with the hope of a miracle), and when returning home from Tivat (conceived and faded). I think that for the money they spent in Montenegro, they clearly did not get what they expected.
All the beauties of Montenegro, especially its mountainous terrain, are completely leveled by the shortcomings that I wrote about above. Montenegro can be compared to a gourmet dish that was salted so much that it spoiled the taste so much that it became almost impossible to eat it.
Going to Montenegro for a beach holiday is stupid: the coastline is like in the Crimea or Turkey, the water is cool, there is no “all inclusive”, but the rest will cost an order of magnitude more expensive than in the Crimea, Turkey or Egypt.
It will be beautiful to go to Montenegro to travel in the mountains, but very dangerous, besides, you need to go for at least 14 days in order to have time to travel around everything, and not constantly rush and risk your life, and wring your nerves because that you can't do it all the time. And the cost of such a vacation will be very expensive. We spent 1.700 euros for two in 7 days (airplane, accommodation, food, car rental, gasoline, sea excursion, replacement of a broken tire). Therefore, 14 days will cost you 3000 - 4000 euros (if you do not get into a serious accident).