Seven days in the life of a misguided Cossack or a legend about the difficult fate of travel agents - 1
Once, in mid-August, a notification came to the post office that a new message had appeared in the subject “info tours for experts”. The admin offered a freebie in the form of an info tour of ski resorts in Slovakia and Poland. Tempting, of course! Only now, I just returned from an unsuccessful trip to the Crimea a few days ago, and again I didn’t really want to go somewhere, and a lot of responsible work was planned for the indicated period of time. Hemorrhoids with Schengen, again. In general, at first (ten minutes) I drove away the thought of a possible trip. Then I began to read the forum further. It turned out that they already married me without me - take the provocateur Old Woman Izergil and propose my candidacy, and take Sigur and Mannes, and support her. Where to go? How much of that life? Without leaving the cash desk, I asked the boss for permission for a future vacation, figured that in a month and a half I would already have time to miss traveling, and work is not a wolf, it will not run away into the forest, and, having crossed herself, sent a message about her consent. The admin approved my candidacy, and away we go.
Thanks to the "simplified" visa regime, I had to enter into an intimate relationship with Privatbank, as well as trudge to Kyiv to hand over "fingers". When I bought tickets at the station, the cashier, having printed out the ticket, began to read (check, like) - departure six, car six, seat six. She laughed nervously. I didn't realize right away and then it was too late. Hm! Three sixes! Somehow it doesn't work well! I wrote about my doubts to the Old Lady. And she reassured me that she happened to go on Friday the thirteenth in the thirteenth place in the thirteenth carriage, and everything was ok. Not a fig is a coincidence! Okay, I guess we'll see.
I left the temperature under forty, and in Kyiv, according to the forecast, it is already full. oops. What to wear? I decided to go in shorts and a T-shirt and take jeans and a shirt with me. The backpack is quite heavy. I didn’t have time to eat anywhere, so I got food, water, plus a tablet and clothes. Choked at home to the last. I went to the bus stop, but there is no and no necessary minibus, although they usually run every 5-10 minutes. I've gone crazy, I already wanted to take a taxi. But the toad restrained me in time, and I forced myself to wait for the minibus. Arrived even 10-15 minutes early. At my car, passengers were met by two young fellows, identical in appearance - two hefty pot-bellied men, as if they were passing a special casting. I have never seen such guides before. They were usually middle-aged women.
It was very warm on the train. I forgot to say - the train arrives in Kyiv on schedule at 13.12. At 14.00 I was recorded at the visa center, and at 16.26 I have a return train. I, theoretically, had somewhere to spend the night, but I didn’t want to skip work much, so I had to be in time. In the middle of the night the train, once again violently twitching, stopped. With the words “So, the train was stopped! Someone blunted past me and began pounding on the door of the conductors. God, I think the stopcock was ripped off? Only this was not enough! They began to shout something there and demand the head of the train. I didn't get the point of the conflict. Maybe they didn't serve someone tea in bed? Through my drowsiness, I later heard that the train was late, so no one should get off at the station, the parking would be short. Everything inside was cold and falling. However, in a horizontal position, it was not deep to descend. Well, I think everyone has arrived! Do not have time!
In the morning, a woman who sat down in Alexandria asked how much the train was late? She said that a tyutelka came in a tyutelka. God bless! I must say that in between stops in an open field, the train rushed like crazy, heeling and twitching with his whole body, as well as making furious sounds. Every now and then I had to slam the window that opened at every sharp turn. Oddly enough, no one followed from the upper shelves. Before the well-known events, our train arrived in the capital in the morning, and it was possible to do everything perfectly. And now, like a poor relative, he misses everything and everyone, including shunting diesel locomotives, and his route is now somewhat different. However, it is still called "night ambulance". But if you can still somehow put up with the night one (although the name “daily” would be more suitable for it), then the word “ambulance” sounds just a mockery.
In general, the train, surprisingly, was not late, although there were all the prerequisites for this. Kyiv met with a gloomy sky covered with low gray clouds, with rare glimpses of blue, and a strong wind. I pulled on jeans and a wrinkled shirt and unloaded. I’m usually passing through Kyiv and not alone, I only went to the metro to Khreshchatyk, and then I had to change (oh, horror! ). In principle, it’s okay, but in the conditions of a very limited time, with goggle-eyed, at first I could not remember where this metro was located at all, but, thank God, I didn’t come to Zanzibar, and found out from people.
When I entered, I found a huge queue for tokens, although it was moving quite quickly. Lost 5-7 minutes. Then, when I changed seats, I naturally went in the wrong direction, but again asked in time if I was going the right way? Of course not! My friends assured me that it was basically impossible to get lost in the subway! Yeah, I can, I have topographical cretinism! Before leaving, they sent me a map of the place where I should go from the Kontraktova Ploshcha station. For some reason, I imagined to myself that when I got out of the metro, I would see a wide multi-lane highway (some kind of shaft), through which I would somehow need to cross, and then I would get to Konstantinovskaya Street perpendicular to it, and, having passed two blocks, I'll find a visa center. I did not take into account that this place is practically the center of the city, a little less central than Khreshchatyk, and not some outskirts that I mentally drew for myself. Coming out of the subway, I found a patch with all sorts of stalls-shmarki and parking minibuses, and where this same Konstantinovskaya - FIG knows. I had to ask again. In short, I still managed even before two hours. The group led by Michael the guide was already assembled.
As you remember, when I agreed to go on this info tour, I did not have time to think carefully. And then, as I imagined that I would be alone, an unfortunate provincial, among the glamorous Kiev travel agents, and already began to regret what I had done. But, surprisingly, the girls turned out to be the most ordinary, as far as I could see. I asked them to let me in first, since I was late for the train. Then came the question, where am I from? I said. And they demanded to show the ticket. And I say that I do not have it, and I have yet to buy it. (I did not buy it, because it could happen that I would still have to spend the night). Yes, we are joking, they say. In short, I was the first to submit my package of documents to the window. The girl leafed through it twice and hovered over the registration stamp.
- WHICH area??? ?
- Donetsk!
Silent scene. I add - Mariupol.
- Ah, Mariupol!
Obvious relief. Then she flipped through the pages again and began to count something on her fingers. God, what do you think? My meager salary? Gone somewhere. When she returns, she says that we have an equal number of days in Slovakia and Poland, so she is obliged to call the consul, and he will decide whether to accept the documents. They began to wait for the decision of the consul. When the time began to approach three, I, already on my nerves, got even more nervous. I ask the girl in the window, why does it take him so long to make a decision? And she says:
- And what about you, a train?
- Well, yes!
- Well, let's hand over your fingers for now, if anything, I'll remove it from the database later.
So, I've done everything I need to do, but the consul still doesn't call. At three o'clock I asked the girl if someone could do the rest for me.
- In principle, yes!
I handed over my package of documents to our guide and wanted to wave a pen, but then, finally, the consul called and said that according to his calculations, we have more days in Poland, so go to the garden (I mean apply for a Polish visa). The people began to resent, to invent something, to change the program of the tour. Mikhail said that he would call somewhere now. I didn’t care anymore, I left them to solve problems, threw the documents to Misha and hit the road. Having reached the place where I supposedly left the Kontraktova Ploshcha metro station, I began to circle, like a bee, in search of the entrance to the evidence. I went out, but I don’t see where to go, for the life of me. Again began to pester people. It succeeded on the second attempt. Despite the fact that it was Monday, and the working day was not yet completely over, there was nowhere for an apple to fall in the cars. Oh Mama Mia and the Pope! What's going on here during peak hours?
I arrived at the station at fifteen minutes to four. To all cash desks. After standing for ten minutes, I found that my cash register was closed at four for a technical break! Damn!! ! But I still managed to buy a ticket just a minute before closing.
Already from the train I called Mikhail to find out how things were going. He said that the rest also gave up their fingers and fell off, and he himself will apply tomorrow if the issue is resolved positively. He promised to call back tomorrow. Waking up at night, I found that we were standing in an open field. I fell asleep. Almost like Mikhalkov (who is Sergey) - I again slept a little and again looked out the window. We're standing again! And so all night. But I wasn't in a big hurry, so I wasn't nervous. As a result, the train was an hour late! If he was so late in that direction, I would have had enough kondrashka. But I returned home again in the summer! It was so sunny and joyful that this trouble did not affect my excellent mood in any way. I did it! First level completed! The rest is somehow unimportant. I already didn’t even care if the documents would be accepted and if they would give me a visa. It was, of course, a pity for the already spent about 1700 UAH. for a visa and travel, and, just in case, I mentally said goodbye to them and let go with God.
A week has passed in anticipation of a call from the consulate. The program was somehow changed (purely for the consul), we had to learn the names of the hotels in which we will live. But no one called, thank God.
And miracles do happen! Akhalai mahalai Old woman Izergil, help! They gave me a visa. True one-time, well, and God bless him, with a cartoon. Anyway, we won’t pull anything cooler than Bukovel this season : (((
This is a saying, not a fairy tale. The story is ahead!
Not very soon. Upon arrival from the info tour, a complete blockage was found at work, the field was not plowed, the horse did not roll, and she (the work) did not run away into the forest. : (((((
