Испорченный отдых Spoiled vacation

Hello. I just returned from Thailand (Pattaya), we were there from 09/06/09 to 09/20/09, and while the impressions of the trip are fresh, I hasten to share them. Thailand is HORRIBLE, it is impossible to find other words. I thought that the difficult flight would be compensated by the paradise that I would see when I arrived there (this opinion was formed from the numerous positive reviews, read in huge numbers, and the stories of acquaintances. ) However, I have practically no positive impressions from this trip.
Booked a tour through a friend. We were brazenly deceived by saying that our hotel has the cleanest sea in Pattaya (there is no clean sea at all). The operator is Lanta Tour, in terms of flights and transfers everything is perfect. However, I do not advise ordering excursions through them - firstly, it is almost twice as expensive, and secondly, they promise three boxes, and in the end there will be a completely different program (but this is a separate story that I will tell later)
In general, having spent more than 8 hours on the plane, the exhausted ones passed through passport control (by the way, for those who don’t know, there are at least two of them at the Bangkok airport with the hard-to-pronounce name Suvarnabumi, all tourists go to the first one, forming huge queues, and after passing only a few hundreds of meters, there is another control, on which there is not a single tourist, and employees yawn from idleness).

Then we almost got lost (the airport is just huge), but in the end we still found a man in a Lanta T-shirt who did not understand a word of either Russian or English. With difficulty in half, we understood what he wanted from us, waited a bit and drove off to the Prince Palace Hotel. (We chose the tour 2 days Bangkok, 12 days Pattaya. )
Bangkok is a strange place. Expensive highways, magnificent palaces, high-rise buildings, and on the other hand, the polluting Chao Phraya river, poverty and stench. For me, the combination is, to put it mildly, strange. But it was still interesting to watch.
On the first day we were scammed like suckers. In Thailand, there is such a feature that if tourists are brought to certain places (for example, a store (Jewelry Factory, Lukdod), a park (Nong Nooch)), then drivers are paid money for this. Well, i. e. he brought a client to Yuvelirka, which means that there is a possibility that the client will buy something, the factory is interested in this, these cunning carriers are making money from us. In general, we leave the hotel, and some man from the staff runs up to us, says taxi taxi, we say: no, thank you. In general, in the end, I foolishly said that we were going to the shopping center Saiam. To which he said ok, ok, 50 baht. We are stunned, we say ok, let's go. We were put in a Toyota with a white leather interior and taken. In general, he began to sell us some places there, incl. jeweler, we say no, no, thank you. As a result, he took us and brought us there, and says, then I will take us to Saiam, pay another 50 baht. Well, if I were in such a situation now, I would send him and say: fuck off, we'll get there ourselves. But then the first day in a foreign city, in general, we went to a jewelry store, bought a necklace there and took it to the Saiams (and there are several of these Saiams, we went to another !! ) - in short, an unpleasant situation; and it's not all about the money.
My advice - be careful if you are taken somewhere against your will - immediately ask to stop, do not succumb to divorces!

The next day we went on an excursion included in the price of the tour - the Royal Palace and the Temple of the Emerald Buddha, located in the same palace. Beautiful, but their religion strikes them (for us it is very peculiar). The tour also included a trip to Yuvelirka (again we were taken there and got money for us! ) and to the shopping center Saiam Paragon. This shopping center also has an Oceanarium, on an excursion to which we were taken by a Bangkok guide. The price included a 4D cinema (20 minutes about the life of the inhabitants of the underwater world), a boat with a transparent bottom, and the entrance to the oceanarium itself. It’s beautiful, but in principle nothing special, but Lanta Tour costs 800 baht (I think if you go by yourself, it will cost twice as much)
Ride on tuk-tuks - in Bangkok they are double, I liked it 
We ourselves went to the observation deck in the highest hotel in Bangkok, Baiyoke Sky (250 baht ticket includes a free cocktail in the restaurant, if I'm not mistaken, on the 83rd floor; and the cocktail is not just some garbage, I think I took the Blue Kamikaze - really tasty as far as I understand, certified bartenders make cocktails) Well, we sat there on the sofas, watching the evening panorama of Bangkok from a bird's eye view through the glass walls. Great.
The guide in Koh Lanta suggested we take a trip to the Safari Park for 1300 per person. The park is located on the road from Bangkok to Pattaya. Those. we could either go or not, but the time of arrival in Pattaya, regardless of this, is about 15 pm. We decided that we didn’t want to spend another half a day in stuffy Bangkok and took this tour. We were also taken on a 2-day excursion to Kwai for 3800 per person. They said that it costs 4800, but since it sells for 3500 on the streets, they made a discount and cut the program a little bit. In short, ok, we agreed.
Safari is something - just a sea of ​ ​ ​ ​ impressions. We fed giraffes and parrots, watched animals walking in the wild, in between - different shows (orangutans, dolphins and killer whales, fur seals). Then there was lunch. Of course it is very hot, but you can endure. I advise everyone))

We arrived at the Botany Beach Hotel in Pattaya at about three o'clock in the afternoon and immediately ran to the long-awaited sea. Here my disappointment knew no bounds; Huge jellyfish, just mountains of jellyfish (And so the whole vacation - we never swam in the sea at our hotel. We had to swim in the pool. In general, the impression of the hotel was immediately spoiled, moreover, it was immediately clear that the rest was ruined. But we still tried not to lose heart and a day later rushed to the island of Koh Lan. How could we know that tuk tuks in Pattaya go as they please? Until this evening we met two nice women from St. Petersburg, they told us how to ride tuk tuks. I mean, you never have to tell the driver where you're going. Otherwise, you'll be picked up again (and so on in everything), they'll tell you to pay like a taxi, and it's possible that it's also for each separately! i. e. white is always only along Sukhumvit, and blue is around the city, only turn blue in one place (at dolphins) can either right or left, so we had to get out there; In general, the first time we got lost, we barely found a pier and got to the island already late in the evening (the last arom leaves from there at 17 o'clock) By the way, there are several beaches and you can get to all of them yourself. Do not take tours from operators so as not to overpay (although on the other hand, if you are reluctant to take a steam bath with transport and lunch, then this is a way out )!
Finally, we still got to the sea! How I've been waiting for this!!
Moreover, our guide in Botany Denis said that there are also jellyfish on the nearest islands, he said don’t go there (I think this was said because Lanta simply doesn’t take them there)! But I didn't see one there. In short, do not listen to the guides! In general, you can not even communicate with them upon arrival. Their job is to sell excursions from the operator. Really practical advice and help for the entire stay at the hotel, we did not receive from him.
I forgot to tell you - the second excursion included in the ticket - Crocodile farm, which was the next day upon arrival. Interesting and sad. I don’t particularly like crocodiles, but I feel sorry for the elephants that are also there. Although they are considered sacred animals in Thailand and they are buried after death (nothing is made from elephant skin and tusks, do not buy fakes), the attitude towards them is terrible. They sit on chains, crowds of people pass through them every day, terrible 
I want to devote a separate chapter of my opus to excursions to the River Kwai.
As I wrote above, we paid for Kwai in Bangkok, and upon arrival in Pattaya, it turned out that we were promised one thing, but it would be completely different. We decided to cancel the tour, but it was not there. They started brainwashing us, they wanted to get rid of us, but I'm not that kind of person (in this case, I went on principle). We fought to the bitter end, and in the end, about a week later, we won back our 7600 (although the booklet says that they return only 50%). And they took excursions to Sasha Tour across the road for 2900 per person. As a result, it turned out that those who were driving through Lanta had a small minibus with a broken spring, and they were shaking all the way. We had a double-decker comfortable bus, plus we saved almost 2000 baht

If it weren’t for the stupid Belarusian couple, who, apparently, for the first time in their life, got out of their village abroad, especially the girl, over the Khabal appearance and behavior of which the whole bus made fun, everything would be just super. In general, there are a lot of Russians in Thailand, as well as Ukrainians. Moreover, 80 percent of them are people who do not know how to behave. And Botany Beach is generally a hotel for Russian tourists. So this is another “plus” of a holiday in Thailand.
There are, of course, good people too; And we were lucky to run into them; At the beginning of the holiday, we met, as I already wrote, with two women from St. Petersburg, who, unfortunately, left the next day), and somewhere in the second week we met good guys (husband and wife) and the second part of the vacation spent in pleasant company; Thank them very much. Zhenya, Natasha, if you suddenly read this review - a big hello to you! Of course, there were other normal Russians, and very pleasant Thais and Thais, which also pleased.
I forgot one more main point - MASSAGE! It is something! It costs about 300 baht per hour. And for such pennies just UNREAL PLEASURE. We did only one place - across the street from Botany, called RUBE. Very nice Thais with super strong hands. I did Special Thai, foot massage, oil massage and PAKOP massage, I did not understand how it translates, but it's just SUPER. The fact is that I have problems with my back, so this is a therapeutic massage, say that it hurts, order PAKOP - and away we go, a young secret woman counted all the bones on my back ten times, my back crunched 20 times, but after that such relief . I don’t know, of course, where this will lead, but she kneaded me thoroughly
So, I got distracted again, Kwai is something. If my legs hadn’t burned, I didn’t suffer from pain, then everything would be just GORGEOUS. People, take protection 50 with you! This is not Egypt! You burn instantly, and I have never had such burns. By the way, in Tae there is protection, only it costs like in Moscow, and the quality is terrible, plus it is also whitening. Here's a paradox - all Thais whiten their skin, because it's cool for them, and white Europeans go to sunbathe in Thai, because. we have cool to have a tan 4;
In general, Kwai has everything: jungle, elephant ride, waterfalls, river rafting, floating hotel, beautiful views. Very good! If I went to Tai again, I would definitely take this tour again.

We rented motorcycles in Botany. Day - 250 baht, Russian rights to the car, they say, roll. But, thank God, we were never slowed down. In general, they have the most corrupt police - so agree. Heard that the fine for drunk driving is 2.000 baht against our 50.000. But it's better not to risk it, of course. Our guide from Lanta said “Do not take motorcycles in any case, I had an accident 7 times in two years. ” Well, as I said, you don’t need to listen to the guides, your head should be on your shoulders. Although there was still one unpleasant incident associated with a moped. On the last day of the trip, we drove packed in the direction of Botani along Sukhumvit. A scooter pulls up from the right and begins to rip off the gold chain from my young man's neck. AFTERNOON, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY, WITH A LOT OF WITNESSES. In general, a wild country, we were shocked. It's good that my boyfriend is not from the timid, he stopped, kicked the Thai's moped and he fled in fear without prey. But the chain still broke and at the end of the holiday we became even more sick.
I also want to add about the number. We took a bungalow and regretted it. They are cleaned badly, some kind of living creature lives in the room, after which the whole body is bitten and itches. We saw a huge dead cockroach in the room. Under the roof is a flock of geckos. Audibility - really 100%, although I did not believe that this happens. But, as I understand it, it's like that everywhere in Tae. For example, in a floating hotel on Kwai, the audibility is not even 100%, but 200%! The Prince Palace in Bangkok is the same.
My advice - if you decide to go to Botany (which I do not advise you), take a regular room, it's more decent there, and it's cheaper).
I want to make a reservation - for me, rest is the sea, the ocean, etc. life, someone swim in the pool, but for me it's all in the background, and there is no normal sea in Tae. After all, even on the islands the water is far from clear.
Well, in general, I don’t know about you, but I’m more in Thailand - not a foot, it was enough for me. Maybe someday I'll go to Phuket or Koh Samui, but for the next couple of years, I'll pass. And in Pattaya - never again.