Шикарный отель с нулевым сервисом Great hotel with zero service

Just got back from vacation a couple of days ago. I must say right away: I have never written reviews before, but here, perhaps, it is necessary. We went to Tunisia for the second time, the first time was 10 (alas! ) years ago, we lived in the neighborhood - in Marabou. Then all the excursions went around. And if the first impression of the country was: "they flew back on the same flight! ", then they left with sadness. Tunisia fell in love, despite all its exotic specificity or specific exoticism. This time we went with a 4-year-old son, for him this is not the first sea and not the first foreign country. That's who liked everything without exception! Our impressions are twofold. The hotel itself is new, luxurious, European and for Europeans and completely lacking in service. Those. Any issue had to be resolved through management.
Now, in order: we bought a tour in Turkompot, firstly, Tunisia at the price of Turkey is tempting, and secondly, the conditions of the trip almost perfectly fit the terms of reference given to the agent. We took off from Domodedovo by Nouvelair during the day. This suited us very well, since we hate flying sleepy. Upon arrival, we immediately received the luggage. We left without delay and quickly settled in. Standard room - they all face the street and the WEST. would be without a child, they would not even stir, then they decided to change. For a surcharge of approximately 250 euros for 8 nights, we received a "superior" with a frontal view of the sea and the pool. It should be noted that, as I understand it, there are no simple doubles with a sea view in the hotel. The room is decently bigger, the kingsize bed, the sofa for the child is twice as large as in the double. There are also two-room rooms, rooms with huge terraces, etc. How much I didn’t specify, but I don’t think it’s completely unbearable for really extra comfort. Didn't regret it for a second. The air conditioner worked properly, and even in our absence, but it was oriented to a "non-residential" corner, i. e. on a baby sofa. We didn’t fool around with her movement: the room cooled, we went to bed, turning off the air conditioner, and at night dad opened the door to the balcony. and we slept under the light sea breeze to the sound of the oncoming waves! At 9 am Moscow time (we decided not to change the time for ourselves to local time) in Tunisia, the sun was rising, the curtains were twitching and we were going to swim. Since breakfast ended at 14.30 Moscow time, we had breakfast in the afternoon, when it got a little hot. After the sea, we went to the pool with sea water, where the water cannons worked, and in the afternoon, if we went, then to the fresh pool, since the sea one was getting hot by this time, i. e. I entered it like a bath, and it was from the sun! The huge fresh pool was NEVER cold. Even the toilet drain seemed hot at times. So I managed not to catch a cold and not get burned.
Nutrition. We had ultra-inclusive. Its ultraness was expressed in the fact that once I tried French pastis. Rare aniseed stuff. Everything else was local. For breakfast, freshly squeezed orange juice was always there until the end of the work. Other juices were funny. Apple unclarified and very sweet - offset! some kind of ugly grape - since everyone is alive - is also an offset. Once my son got a sweet grapefruit - he couldn’t get it anymore. Mango, pineapple - at the level of juices from packages of 30 rubles each. The main problem was to get these juices at other times than breakfast. Water, too. . .

So we arrived on Thursday, immediately swam in the sea and went to dinner. Posh! The waiter is very helpful! belly dancing and Berber drums. I am delighted. Turns out it's only on Thursdays. On other days it is impossible to call the waiter. Not for a dinar, not for ten. You call the metro waiter, he calls the waiter, by the end of dinner you get drinks. Twice I saw when drinks were brought to an already empty table. If the first evening the wine was served in a bottle and of quite decent quality, then what was later served in decanters seemed already diluted. Moreover, I got the impression that the position on drinks is the position of the hosts. A simple example is asking a waiter who knows my tip well to bring me a BIG beer. I expect to have it before dessert. "I can't, " he says. "I'll bring two little ones. " True, he brought it in a large glass, then he even managed to repeat it in a large glass. Drinks are served in small glasses. There are no "fillers" like in Turkey, albeit with yuppies. Drinks in the bar and restaurant on the beach - you need to touch the bartender, part with a heavy sigh, in the lobby bar - similarly, but better quality, during opening hours in the main restaurant - as I already said. there is also an Aga cafe: during the day you can get Turkish coffee (I recommend it! ). Tunisian tea, all sorts of sprite juices. If a tall old waiter is serving, order him an ice-tee! It's not nestle in a bottle! In the evening this will not be prepared. Two bottles of water must be delivered to the room daily. Plus you can get it at the bar on the beach.
Friday. The water has run out. We come from the beach. The room has not been cleaned. I called housekeeping: clean it up, lz and bring water. I leave two dinars and leave for the old city. We'll be back in an hour and a half. Two dinars lie on an unmade bed, there is no water. We go to sleep. Nobody wakes up. Before going to dinner, I repeat the operation with dinars and a call. We also light a green light bulb, which should attract the attention of the maid. We return. Dinars and the situation in the same place. I'm going to the reception. I had not yet managed to climb back, as the room had already been removed. There is no water. He spat on everything, went to buy a pack of water in a nearby shop. Monsieurs look at me with contempt, the concierge - with bewilderment. Complain to the guide in the morning. All of us present nearby immediately join. It turns out that everyone is so cultured, endured. Went to the guest relation. Claims accepted, I was gratified separately by delivering not only plain water to the room. but also 5 carbonated. Life is getting better.
In the evenings, everyone gathers together in the lobby with laptops - free Wi-Fi. Freebie hangs. They are stupid! - Zadoronov would say. I live by Moscow time: while everyone is washing from the beach, I drink tea on my balcony (electric kettle and cups in the room) and indulge in the Internet: the glass ceiling of the lobby is not a hindrance to Wi-Fi! The signal in the room is very weak. The German is a floor below the security feature and also no longer goes to the lobby.
Sunday. I try not to pay attention to the fact that in all bars they diligently emphasize that "this is not included in on-inclusive" And they offer to take it for a fee. I have been in hotels with a mixed system before. But I didn’t get anywhere that the same bar worked both alinclusively and not. At the same time, there is no menu anywhere to simply understand, but what IS? You ask at random, maybe they will bring it, maybe not. I say: tonic please, no gin. No, he says. I show him behind his back in the refrigerator. This, - he says, - is not all-inclusive, it is for a fee. Last night I drank tonic here, tomorrow and in all subsequent days - too. The main joke is that even at the reception they can’t really explain what, where and when is omniclusive: in the brochure one thing, in words - another, in the bar - they say the third. In general, I got tired of feeling like a second class with such an all-inclusive. I offered a guest-relationship: the hotel will return the money to me, I pay for everything I eat and drink myself. Water and fruits were brought to the room, in the restaurant the managers began to help the waiters. Life is getting better. . . For a couple of days. This is on the one hand. On the other hand, I have a firm conviction that the life of visiting foreigners is somewhat easier, the glasses are larger, and the drinks are more varied. and even among the Poles. Only we and Ukraine go by some kind of Hamburg account.

Once again, the situation with cleaning is repeated, though they brought water. Deciding that going to bed in yesterday’s bed was a waste, I called housekeeping and said that I had called them three times for the past five hours and asked them to clean the room. "What, sir, do you want us to leave now ?????!!!!!!!!!! ! (Night in the yard) Yes !!! ! - I yell. Five minutes have not passed, two have arrived fighter and cleaned the room better than my own mother. Two dinars. To the one who did not have time to escape.
There is no animation in the hotel. The vaunted children's club is a pair of young, pleasant, kind nannies who can shove a child: they will feed him. put to sleep, taken to the pool. If they understand each other. We did not dare to leave ours unattended. A couple of times I went to play, once there was a mini-disco for a prefix.
Finding what to eat for a child is not very difficult. Every evening there is fish on the grill, almost every one is some kind of beef stroganoff. Pizzas, salads. Everything is quite high quality. Grilled fish is fresh. Lots of fruits and sweets too. Dates always. Plenty of ice cream during restaurant opening hours.
In general, if you are ready for such an attitude and your response kicks, you will succeed in rest. Dinar has fallen in price a lot, we spent 250 euros on all the entertainment in 9 days. I bought myself a ring with carnelian for 600 rubles (equivalent). Wife took for $ 200 (this is not at the expense of entertainment) a set of a ring and a bracelet with large opaque rubies. We have such a pull from 12.000 to 17.000. If not, choose a different hotel, do not spoil the impression of the country.