Luxurious five-star (six-star?) hotel from TUI

Written: 30 october 2017
Travel time: 27 september — 11 october 2017
Your rating of this hotel:
1.0
from 10
Hotel ratings by criteria:
Rooms: 1.0
Service: 2.0
Cleanliness: 2.0
Food: 1.0
Amenities: 4.0
Bungalow room. Old, shabby. The windows and doors are wooden, aged by a natural method, no traces of processing and varnish were found (we had a through hole in the door, which we covered with a sticker from the suitcase). There are no glass panes. The audibility of everything that happens outside the window is excellent. The door handles on the balcony are terrible, rusty. The bed, battered, the mattresses are gouged, squeezed through (recently changed my five-year-old one - it was an order of magnitude better). Inside cosmetic repairs. Flat TV 26 inches, nothing to watch - 25 channels, 2 channels of tui with advertising, of the remaining half does not work. For news lovers there is Russian and Ukrainian. There are two sockets in the room (the third in the toilet). Moreover, I found the second one a week later, behind a stool. Wall screen, bedside tables are new (one handle is torn off). The refrigerator began to work normally after repeatedly scrolling the regulator. The toilet and everything connected with it can be used for its intended purpose. Washbasin, plumbing works properly. I was surprised by the glass partition in the bathroom - strange, so far no one has broken it. There must have been Muslims before us. Two more strange signs with requests in different languages ​ ​ to save energy, and think about it - a request to use towels many times to save the hotel's electricity and water. I don’t know who the manager is, but I would really like to see this one... who offers tourists to save even on hygiene! The woman from the service room (there is no concept of housekeeping in the hotel) left a tip every day. Thanks to her for taking out the trash every day and changing the towels and cleaning the bed. By the way, the towels were clean and washed to holes in the literal sense of the word (photo attached). If you do not litter, then there will be order. Update disposable shower caps. Strained with soap, pour liquid into dispensers. You have to take yours.
The air conditioner freezes to the maximum (the regulator does not work) - I had to turn my head to my feet so as not to catch a cold. It is impossible to open the doors to the balcony - from Orange it thunders until 24.00, on the other hand from the Grand Hotel it blows until 4.00 in the morning. So who did not hide - I'm not to blame. Sleep begins from 4.15 to 5.50 in the morning, since from 5.50 an insistent invitation to morning prayer begins to sound. At 6.00 in the morning, a sweeper passes along the street with the sound of a flying plane, then the neighbors get up, who are impatient at 6.15, shower, coffee, standard cough for 5-10 minutes. It is problematic to sit on the balcony and shake hands over a bottle of wine. You can hear your neighbors very well even in the room.
Upon check-in, there were two pairs of white slippers, in a package, and two wrinkled white robes (they did not see ironing). I did not like the color of the slippers - associations...

At the request of a room change, they offered another room in the same bungalow, but a little further along the territory. There is a main building in which, most likely, there are plastic windows and double-glazed windows. They offered a room there, but in the back of the building overlooking the facade of the Orange Hotel. Meaning? In response, he offered to move to a room overlooking the pool with a surcharge - it is relatively quiet there, the place seems to be not bad, but he received a polite refusal, although, visually, walking along the building in the evenings, it was clear that there were several free rooms. Upon further study of the situation, I noticed that Poles, local sex tourists, and from Europe are being accommodated in the building. Moreover, the so-called sex tourists behave insolently, obscenely, in broad daylight molesting various women who were seen without men. When referring to the hotel security guards, who are walking around the territory, they shrug their hands and smile! It feels like I'm not in a hotel, but in a brothel...
Animation. She is not in the hotel (brothel? ), except for the girl dancing Zumba. In the water, one guy and two elderly ladies tried to follow her professional movements. Volleyball was played periodically by 2-4 people. Evening shows below the local spill belt can only be watched in a drunken state. Visiting artists perform well, interesting, but not every day. Every time after the performance of such ensembles, the local sleeping animator proudly asks: “Did you like our show? ” And, in principle, the animation begins after dinner, with drinking alcohol and smoking hookahs, breaking dishes. This is followed by the show itself, from 21.30 to 22.30. After the show, a terrible binge begins. Moreover, not surprisingly, pouring alcoholic beverages into broken or dirty glasses is practiced. After that, the most persistent (those who are still on their feet) go to a local disco. For the sake of interest, I decided to take a look at this miracle once. Drinks, as in the daytime, no problem. The hotel's DJ plays bullshit, to which two uncles of oriental appearance and one aunt dance. I did not participate in night movements, perhaps I needed to eat something invigorating, or inject myself. In the evenings, sometimes, they came to the pier of the neighboring hotel to listen to music, to look at the disco.
About fast internet from TUI. My wife and I take turns walking along the beach with a selfie stick to send a message via viber to relatives. Works in the room. A 10 minute video loads half an hour. Fact: on the beach catches the chain of the hotel across the road.
That's what I liked - the main reception. Good guys, always neat, friendly. They speak excellent Russian, which cannot be said about the rest of the staff, although there are so many custom-made reviews... I tried to find a Russian-speaking animator during the day - I couldn’t find it, they said there is one Russian-speaking girl, but no one knows how to find her. According to the schedule, in particular, I did not find water polo due to the fact that there was no one to play! And this despite the fact that the number of tourists is about 500 people.

Such a beautiful ad from Tui Dan n Night Connected, but the reality is completely different. All this connected consisted of drinking alcohol, smoking a hookah, and using psychotropic substances before losing a pulse (yesterday, they say, someone became ill). Near the hotel, on a walk, you can see scattered syringes. To the bartenders to give credit, pour well. From alcohol: vodka, gin, tonic, cola, wine, flavorings, in various combinations without limitation. So, alkonauts, welcome, you are here, as they say, a club of interests.
This morning I almost shed a tear at breakfast, I came to the dining room, and there a violin solo sounds over the loudspeaker, as if someone is being buried (maybe I was not in the know), although I thought, why not - music for such a breakfast quite suitable. In Bulgaria, a three-star hotel, breakfasts are much better. And in general, some attitudes towards non-Muslims are simply bestial. On the beach, a janitor was seen spraying water from a hose into a changing cabin and then spitting into it.
By the way, about the beach. . . To have such a beautiful coastline and, excuse me, to spoil it with huge ancient umbrellas with a frame made of steel pipes, which, of course, does not add up - you need to be able to... As a result, in order to enjoy the Turkish sun, you have to narrow passages to enter the beach. Who has no knack - rests in the shade, or near the pool.
That's what's good, on the hotel's beach there are water sports: parasailing, jet skis, skiing, boat trips, flyboard. Not cheap, but so everywhere. For $250 we went parasailing (300 meters), two Yamaha jet skis, and took a flyboard for ourselves. Great sensations, water sports in beautiful sunny weather on the coast of the gentle Mediterranean Sea. Special thanks to a man named Serkan who kindly provided these services.
I'll add about sports. Periodically, I visited the gym in the main building. There are a couple of bicycles, a leg machine, two barbells, dumbbells in pairs up to 30kg, a combined machine for shoulder, back, triceps, a bench, two treadmills. Inside the hall, in a cage, three pears hang - they said, for protection - savages are not allowed to enter, only under supervision. Also, you can use a towel measuring 20*20cm, which you can take in the hall, and put it in a special basket after use. However, this is correct, according to how else to call people who fill bags at breakfast, lunch and dinner, sorry, with shit?

Four days before departure. Strange, on vacation, for the first time, hunger, real hunger after dinner. Weight 110, height 180. Hunger to the bone after dinner, as the chef's dish was fried crab sticks in a pan with onions, peppers, and shrimp the size of a match. That's all the seafood for the past week and a half, excluding grilled and stewed fish. For freshly cooked meat, there is a queue like in the mausoleum to Grandfather. Gone, spending time on the beach is more expensive.
Three days before departure. Today is a good day, I managed to sleep for an hour in the morning. At night, there was a drunken revelry with songs and dances, a showdown on the territory. Someone's leg was broken. Clouds in the sky, but warm. There are few people on the beach. After breakfast, that is, tea with an egg and toast (it is impossible to eat the so-called sausage - it is not made of meat), we walked along the Kemer embankment. We climbed the mountain in Yoruk Park, 2 lira per person entrance (1 dollar - 3.4 lira). Then, we went to the store to buy cola, sweets. In local shops, now, they are not just trying to drag them by the hand, but also with barkers: “Come in, the children are starving at home! ”. I thought about whether to go or not to go to dinner - I went, hoping to see something interesting. And I was not mistaken - the queue for vegetable soup, about 20 people.
A couple of days ago I was lucky - a cup of lipstick. Salads are chopped like pigs in a stall - they don’t cut their ass off cucumbers, recently I just got caught in the mud (it’s a pity I didn’t have a camera with me). Today at lunch I noticed that in a salad vase there was one salad on top, and another under it, showed it to the duty officer, he apologized, took it, ran away somewhere.
October 9th. Breakfast. Tired of standing in line every morning for 15 minutes, and crushing orange juice with a manual juicer. A girl came up and asked to help her press the juice. She pawned oranges - I pressed. She said: “You don’t need to go to the gym with such juice. ” Tui did not have enough money for a machine gun. Dinner. Dirty glass of wine - changed. The cook arranged the salads while licking his fingers. Horror. What does he need a cap for?
Two days left and so much more to write. . .

Local market. There is one, not bad. Strongly do not stick. Grocery on Mondays. We bought fruit, sweet watermelon, pomegranate, grapes, local small bananas. The dining room had watermelon, sometimes oranges and cheap grapes. Pomegranate in the hotel did not see, despite the fact that the entire coast from Kemer to Antalya is dotted with pomegranate groves. Near the bazaar, inland, they regularly bought natural pomegranate juice from grandpa and grandma (squeezed on the spot), 350 ml - 1ue, or 3.4 lira
What's great is the safe. Yes, it works flawlessly, performs all functions and tasks. I also liked the blue bracelets, silicone, they do not rub the skin, but there is a problem with small sizes. Upon arrival, the wife was given a large one. Lost as a result. At the reception they gave out a new, last, small one. Thanks guys at the front desk. I observed that some wear bracelets on their legs. Is this a trend, or what not to lose?
Yes, about children's animation. She is. For the little ones, a separate soft zone is organized. The amphitheater hosts children's shows. Somehow I went to look - it's interesting. Well done.
SPA - yes. Hamam - none. Peeling - right there. Massage - normal (an adult man did me, I didn’t write down my name).

Here, still, there is no "all inclusive". Breakfast lunch and dinner. Drinks throughout the day. From 14.30 to 16.00, the so-called snack bar, which is no longer open, since the end of the season. All snacks in the dining room. Coffee can be prepared at the pool bar only from 10.00 am! Somehow I came earlier than usual to the beach, at 9.30 - I wanted coffee... I look - the car is standing, the cups are near the counter. I say to the bartender, they say, give me a glass of coffee, I want it - he looked at me with frightened eyes, ran, brought a friend to help, and he explained in broken sign language that it was still early, only from 10.00! With English tight, as well as with Russian. Of course, there is no coffee maker in the room (I took it with me), as well as coffee. There is no bottled water in the coolers on the territory, with the exception of one cooler in the daytime at the second pool, near the building for foreign sex tourists. For that, half-liter beakers can be taken in the refrigerator of the dining room and near the central pool as much as you can take away. In order not to carry beakers with you all the time, we bought a 5-liter bottle of water at the grocery store (enough for several days, it costs about a dollar). Also, in the grocery store they bought sweet waters, juices, mineral water, sweets. The last 5 days in the evening meat appeared. Today, while waiting for dinner, I almost died of hunger. Saved coffee with milk. Previously, when there were sultans, for such breakfasts and lunches, all kitchen workers cut off their hands and threw them into the sea to sharks.
Yesterday it was raining. In the evening they got to the dining room by swimming.
10/10/2017, the day before departure. Woke up in a cold sweat. Terrible dream: they left me at the hotel. Also, I dreamed of huge fat women in striped T-shirts who stuffed blue bags with a red TUI inscription with rolls in the dining room.
The shops. Two grocery supermarkets. There are basic products. Alcohol in Turkey is very expensive. The cheapest locally produced 0.7 vodka costs 70 lire, approximately $20.5. Purchased supplies in DUTY FREE were not enough, I had to buy for a cocktail. I don’t recommend what they pour at the hotel - they take it to the sidelines after the third glass (shmurdyak is still the same), I have never tried beer, there was no desire - I just bought it in a supermarket with Pringle chips (Efes went bad). Sweets are not cheap. The Turks have an average salary of 1500. From clothing - Defacto (Turkish production) - purchased T-shirts shed after washing at 30 degrees, Waikiki (quality of factory China). Bought here and there. You will not find famous brands. Not far from the hotel, along the main street, across the road, we bought good bed linen.
Today was the so-called foam party, which ended before dinner, as there was no one to dance. The DJ and dancers tried to turn on the audience, but they did not succeed. It didn't come to foam. The bodies were left unattended near the pool. Sleeping animator sluggishly invited to dance. Lunch and dinner surprised, there was a pitiful semblance of a variety of dishes. I immediately understood what it was about - in the dining room I noticed girls in TUI T-shirts with the inscription "quality control". I wonder what they controlled? A strange delegation of uncles and aunts in suits was noticed on the territory, near which TUI guides ran around. Everything is made for show. . .

I can’t imagine what kind of people write positive reviews about this hotel, as an option - not in good spirits, or custom-made. Attention! There are false reviews on YouTube, in particular, the so-called “Sergey Nagorny channel” with the necessary reviews of the right hotels. One thing is for sure: the TUI operator, or its representatives, conducts an unfair advertising policy, slipping potential customers a low-quality product under a bright advertising sign.
This review was sent two weeks before publication to the TUI office at: quality@tui. ua, client@tui. ru, online@tui. ru. There was no reaction.
You can download my 3D video cuts from Kemer, views from the Hydros Club hotel at the link: https://rutracker. org/forum/viewtopic. php? t=5470982
Watch the video number: https://youtu. be/JarApivj_-I
Enjoy watching.
Translated automatically from Russian. View original