Your rating of this hotel:
2.0
from 10
Hotel ratings by criteria:
Rooms:
5.0
Service:
2.0
Cleanliness:
4.0
Food:
2.0
Amenities:
8.0
A report on the stupidly spent money, or Crimea is the edge of tourism (well, in general, the edge).
Boarding house "Radiant" town. Nikolaevka, from 05-06-2009 to 14-05-2009 family of 3 people.
1. Check-in or check-in or where the reception is located.
On the appointed day, we arrive at the boarding house, of course, the main gates are closed, everyone is breaking into the second. A polite (really) guard explains that if you walk a hundred meters through the territory, you can get into the building in which the mystery of the settlement takes place in this hotel. Without much difficulty we find the building. The first floor is a beautiful, cool hall, chairs, tables, well, I think, here it is reception, but no, you go to...
the second floor, some employee explains very politely, because of course there are no signboards or signs. No, of course, in this place you can tell me that you’ve been snickering, my friend, having rolled around abroad, you’re not here here !!! , whoever thinks so can not read the report further and act with paper as intended, for the rest I continue.
The second floor is also nothing, it’s just very reminiscent of the accounting department of some large institution, and a line of so far cheerful vacationers, while peacefully waiting for the cherished door to the realm of the marketing department to open (that’s why it’s called what is called reception all over the world) , and you will still be given two tear-off coupons for accommodation and food. And now we are invited to a not very air-conditioned (in short, stuffy) room, in which one employee sits at three desktops and, at the speed of a stenographer of the Reich Chancellery, tries to quickly fill out (according to my calculations) 9 different forms. Well, God bless him, we are waiting. A few minutes later, breathing heavily (heat), she gives us six coupons, with a story that we should go to such and such a building and get the keys there. The hand showed the direction of movement.
Yes, I forgot to say that things have been in the car all this time, we travel light,
but how do those who are not in the car, I do not know. We go to the building, it's not far 200 meters,
there, after filling out some kind of moronic form, we are given the keys to the room (we had a “dream by the sea”) and with the blessing “go and look for the sea” they are sent to the settlement in the rooms.
2. Number. "Sleep by the Sea"
According to all the criteria and content, the room is worth 4**** stars, although it is small because of the ill-conceived third place (the sofa, when unfolding, blocks the entire room).
There is even a mini kitchen - a table, dishes, a kettle, an iron. The truth is that in order to turn on the kettle, you must turn off the refrigerator. Cozy, clean, the sea here it is always noisy,
just a class.
Of the shortcomings:
-no one will ever make your bed for you during cleaning;
-no one will change your underwear (you can do it yourself)
-bed linen was bought at the puppet theater on sale (the sizes are cool for Lilliputians).
Everything else is good. . .
3. This big word is POOL!! ! or an ode to a proctologist.
Be glorious proctologist beholding the pool,
After all, in its waters only flies splash
And your friend is a urologist, caressing a nurse
Only sterile people are allowed into the pool.
V. V.
The boarding house has two swimming pools: a children's pool with slides and a swimming pool with a slide and sea water.
At the word swimming pool, obviously, citizens should have a reflex that says the following - I can get into this pool only if I have a swimming cap (not a hat with earflaps, not a baseball cap), barefoot and only after visiting the local first-aid post and sanitation in the shower.
Naturally, swimming caps are speculated right there in the first-aid post.
Even if you have gone through all the procedures and turned out to be suitable for the pool, the all-seeing eye of the proctologist will vigilantly monitor you in the pool.
And even the time of work of this miracle (both the pool and the proctologist) corresponds to the Labor Code of Ukraine and they have lunch as it should be, then when you want to dive.
Children's swimming pool.
Nice pool for kids ages 5 and up. There are already 4 sunbeds nearby, but a lot of greenery. Children swim without caps and with their parents, which undoubtedly caused a storm of emotions among health workers, and on the second day an announcement “Adults are not allowed to swim in the children's pool” appeared around the pool, but vacationers - they are like children and did not accept this warning.
On the third day, proctologists and urologists went on the attack, whining nervously and shaking their hats that had not yet been sold, they tried to take the pool by storm. The assault failed, children and children (they are vacationers) peacefully splashed in the waters...
4. Dining room, meals. Do not make a cult out of food, but problems out of my gold chains. (Thoughts of the head of the dining room)
That sweet word is food. The dream of every vacationer, she is given not much time, but a lot of attention. She is, I think, one of the foundation stones of the Great Holiday Pyramid. All this could be explained by the head of the canteen, but alas, in the Soviet catering system, no one knows about this.
Protein-carbohydrate something stomachs hardly digest. Emphasis on the calorie content of food. Everything is in order here - calories from potatoes, semolina and pasta for dinner are more than enough. But the cook really wants to tear off his hands for the thoughtless spoilage of food. Moreover, the tea that we drank for 10 days from cups without handles was brewed one day before our arrival.
5. Set "HOTEL" - or we saw it all somewhere, but we were not told how to use it.
In a boarding house, in fact, there is everything that can pull on 4 **** stars, BUT...
On the beach on the second tier, in beautiful rows, almost close to each other (this is important), there are sunbeds, normal, clean, new, you can lie on them, but you can’t move them, they are connected to each other and the canopy posts with a good steel cable! ! ! The sand itself and the beach itself is not much lower, and if you have a child who wants to go to the sea, you are forced to sit on the sand nearby, and the sunbeds? - the sunbeds are higher. Why they THERE no one knows, but you can’t take them out on the sand !! ! That is, someone from the leadership saw sunbeds in Turkey on TV, but looked at the fact that people are lying on them and this is not a decoration of the hotel, but a necessity.
You know, I have already written a lot and I can write more, but there is only one conclusion - if you want service and the sea = go to Turkey, etc. , and Crimea? …. Crimea for me was still there and will be a place of rest, but a savage, with some grandmother in the private sector, where I, at least roughly, know what I pay money for...
Boarding house "Radiant" town. Nikolaevka, from 05-06-2009 to 14-05-2009 family of 3 people.
1. Check-in or check-in or where the reception is located.
On the appointed day, we arrive at the boarding house, of course, the main gates are closed, everyone is breaking into the second. A polite (really) guard explains that if you walk a hundred meters through the territory, you can get into the building in which the mystery of the settlement takes place in this hotel. Without much difficulty we find the building. The first floor is a beautiful, cool hall, chairs, tables, well, I think, here it is reception, but no, you go to...
the second floor, some employee explains very politely, because of course there are no signboards or signs. No, of course, in this place you can tell me that you’ve been snickering, my friend, having rolled around abroad, you’re not here here !!! , whoever thinks so can not read the report further and act with paper as intended, for the rest I continue.
The second floor is also nothing, it’s just very reminiscent of the accounting department of some large institution, and a line of so far cheerful vacationers, while peacefully waiting for the cherished door to the realm of the marketing department to open (that’s why it’s called what is called reception all over the world) , and you will still be given two tear-off coupons for accommodation and food. And now we are invited to a not very air-conditioned (in short, stuffy) room, in which one employee sits at three desktops and, at the speed of a stenographer of the Reich Chancellery, tries to quickly fill out (according to my calculations) 9 different forms. Well, God bless him, we are waiting. A few minutes later, breathing heavily (heat), she gives us six coupons, with a story that we should go to such and such a building and get the keys there. The hand showed the direction of movement.
Yes, I forgot to say that things have been in the car all this time, we travel light,
but how do those who are not in the car, I do not know. We go to the building, it's not far 200 meters,
there, after filling out some kind of moronic form, we are given the keys to the room (we had a “dream by the sea”) and with the blessing “go and look for the sea” they are sent to the settlement in the rooms.
2. Number. "Sleep by the Sea"
According to all the criteria and content, the room is worth 4**** stars, although it is small because of the ill-conceived third place (the sofa, when unfolding, blocks the entire room).
There is even a mini kitchen - a table, dishes, a kettle, an iron. The truth is that in order to turn on the kettle, you must turn off the refrigerator. Cozy, clean, the sea here it is always noisy,
just a class.
Of the shortcomings:
-no one will ever make your bed for you during cleaning;
-no one will change your underwear (you can do it yourself)
-bed linen was bought at the puppet theater on sale (the sizes are cool for Lilliputians).
Everything else is good. . .
3. This big word is POOL!! ! or an ode to a proctologist.
Be glorious proctologist beholding the pool,
After all, in its waters only flies splash
And your friend is a urologist, caressing a nurse
Only sterile people are allowed into the pool.
V. V.
The boarding house has two swimming pools: a children's pool with slides and a swimming pool with a slide and sea water.
At the word swimming pool, obviously, citizens should have a reflex that says the following - I can get into this pool only if I have a swimming cap (not a hat with earflaps, not a baseball cap), barefoot and only after visiting the local first-aid post and sanitation in the shower.
Naturally, swimming caps are speculated right there in the first-aid post.
Even if you have gone through all the procedures and turned out to be suitable for the pool, the all-seeing eye of the proctologist will vigilantly monitor you in the pool.
And even the time of work of this miracle (both the pool and the proctologist) corresponds to the Labor Code of Ukraine and they have lunch as it should be, then when you want to dive.
Children's swimming pool.
Nice pool for kids ages 5 and up. There are already 4 sunbeds nearby, but a lot of greenery. Children swim without caps and with their parents, which undoubtedly caused a storm of emotions among health workers, and on the second day an announcement “Adults are not allowed to swim in the children's pool” appeared around the pool, but vacationers - they are like children and did not accept this warning.
On the third day, proctologists and urologists went on the attack, whining nervously and shaking their hats that had not yet been sold, they tried to take the pool by storm. The assault failed, children and children (they are vacationers) peacefully splashed in the waters...
4. Dining room, meals. Do not make a cult out of food, but problems out of my gold chains. (Thoughts of the head of the dining room)
That sweet word is food. The dream of every vacationer, she is given not much time, but a lot of attention. She is, I think, one of the foundation stones of the Great Holiday Pyramid. All this could be explained by the head of the canteen, but alas, in the Soviet catering system, no one knows about this.
Protein-carbohydrate something stomachs hardly digest. Emphasis on the calorie content of food. Everything is in order here - calories from potatoes, semolina and pasta for dinner are more than enough. But the cook really wants to tear off his hands for the thoughtless spoilage of food. Moreover, the tea that we drank for 10 days from cups without handles was brewed one day before our arrival.
5. Set "HOTEL" - or we saw it all somewhere, but we were not told how to use it.
In a boarding house, in fact, there is everything that can pull on 4 **** stars, BUT...
On the beach on the second tier, in beautiful rows, almost close to each other (this is important), there are sunbeds, normal, clean, new, you can lie on them, but you can’t move them, they are connected to each other and the canopy posts with a good steel cable! ! ! The sand itself and the beach itself is not much lower, and if you have a child who wants to go to the sea, you are forced to sit on the sand nearby, and the sunbeds? - the sunbeds are higher. Why they THERE no one knows, but you can’t take them out on the sand !! ! That is, someone from the leadership saw sunbeds in Turkey on TV, but looked at the fact that people are lying on them and this is not a decoration of the hotel, but a necessity.
You know, I have already written a lot and I can write more, but there is only one conclusion - if you want service and the sea = go to Turkey, etc. , and Crimea? …. Crimea for me was still there and will be a place of rest, but a savage, with some grandmother in the private sector, where I, at least roughly, know what I pay money for...
Translated automatically from Russian. View original
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