Lost heaven. Myths and reality.
If Crimeaphobes have their own business, they can calmly take care of them. My story will be more interesting for people, like me, in spite of everything, who love Crimea fiercely and wholeheartedly. So, let's leave it to the politicians to decide whether Crimea is ours or not, and, since the site is a tourist site, let's consider Crimea purely from the point of view of an ordinary, very budget tourist, which I am. I have never been inclined to fanaticism, in any area, so I will try to judge soberly (at least until lunch) : )))). Facts and only facts.
We were going to traditionally go to Yalta for NG, but the day before departure we had to return tickets and stay in our dear ghetto, since bus and railway flights to the peninsula were also canceled, as a result of which, instead of a week of walking in the fresh air, we got a week of unrestrained drunkenness and hopeless gluttony, which caused some damage to my figure and internal organs. In some America, this would probably be a good reason to sue : ))))). But there is no harm without good, and, thanks to the fact that the rubles saved up for the trip remained intact and since then have become pretty heavy, we were able, nevertheless, to carry out our plans for May. Crimea, of course, is always good, but in spring, nevertheless, it is better than in winter. The media, of course, strained with their horror stories, and even I, to some extent, believed them. I believed more in my acquaintances, who, nevertheless, got there, but stood at the same time for many hours at the border, but I really wanted to go. Therefore, I came up with an argument for myself that it doesn’t matter, it would take at least a day to get at least somewhere from our God-forgotten corner, and I made a decision.
Initially, they wanted to travel by car, but then it turned out that a holy place is never empty, and instead of state-owned carriers, this niche was occupied by private ones. We decided to use their services in order not to have a headache. Having called a couple of places, we chose where it is cheaper (450 UAH / person) for the delivery of Mariupol-Simferopol. Elsewhere asked 800 for the same. Fuck the difference! We found an apartment in Yalta before NG. Communication with the old mistress was lost, so another one was found. In winter, they asked for 1000 rubles for it, now they agreed on 800.
The departure, as usual, was not without incident. Arriving at the place 15 minutes before the bus departure (8 am) and not finding my companion there, she began to call nervously.
- Where are you?
- Already coming!
- Where to?
- To the bus station.
- Which bus station at... ? We depart from ……. (another location)
- You didn't tell me.
No, okay? Theoretically, this is of course possible, I could tell everything to everyone, but not to the one who needs it. But this simply cannot be, because it can never be! He had to take a taxi at the bus station from the curb, and this is twice as expensive as calling by phone. But there was no time to call. In short, the morning began nervously, everything annoyed me - why the hell did we stop by Berdyansk? And why in Melitopol? The bus seems to be full. We're wasting time. Again, endless checkpoints. To distract myself, I began to listen to "A Year in Provence", recommended by many here. And they eat and drink there endlessly, and then they drink and eat again! Yes, what is it! We got cognac and a snack. Life began to improve. They began to remember the funny names of settlements along the way. There was "New World" and "New Labor", only "New May" was missing. They drank for him. Very symbolic. There was also the "Way of the Nemesis", which I always translated as "The Way of the Hungry Man". However, the name in Russian was never there, unlike other villages.
When we arrived at the border that had formed so inopportunely, we were already knee-deep in the sea and everything was perceived as hee-hee. I counted a queue of 60 cars, as well as several regular buses from Berdyansk, Zaporozhye and something else. I forgot to say that the bus operators have come up with a new trick - in order not to bathe in the queue, they unload passengers who quickly pass control, and on the other side another bus is waiting for them. Well, they unloaded us with our belongings, and we started to go through passport control, then no man's land. And in the neutral zone... no, not flowers, but the coveted house of an unknown architect, not even a house, but a house. I asked someone - and there for rubles or for hryvnia? For dollars - was my answer. I did not appreciate the joke and went in the direction. Looking in, and not seeing the usher, I took half a step forward... I wish I hadn't done this. Quite decent, in the past, a toilet for several seats was for....utterly wounded. I jumped out like a bullet and, already spitting on everything, found myself another shelter. Having caught up with her group, she approached the Russian checkpoint. We hung out there for quite some time. There was a change, right? The Russian border guard asked the girl in front of me some strange questions, like “How many floors are in your house? ”. Also, you can't talk on the phone there. This was written, as it turned out, on one of the posters, as usual, the forty-eighth paragraph in small print and on the reverse side : ))). The girl, who had the imprudence to call at that time, was almost pushed back to the Ukrainian side. Barely recaptured by the whole crowd - it is necessary to warn! In total, we lost a little over two hours. According to the experienced, usually the border crossing procedure takes about forty minutes. But not with our Jewish happiness! The guy in the very first car in line said he'd been here since half past nine in the morning. And it was already 3 o'clock in the afternoon. So driving a car is not an option.
I recalled a similar pedestrian crossing of the Egypt-Israel border. There we lost no less than 5 hours. However, this unfortunate circumstance did not stop anyone, the longed-for Jerusalem was and remains a desirable destination for many crowds of Egyptian all lovers.
Beyond the cordon, a minibus of enterprising local residents was waiting for us, delivering Crimea lovers from the nose to the waiting next bus for 20 rubles. Only 2 kilometers, but with things and children on foot - it's quite far. After checking the list, we were loaded and taken further - to Simferopol. There we quickly bought tickets to Yalta for 110 rubles and at 7 pm we were already at the bus station. The journey thus took 11 hours, which is not bad at all for a bus. Aunts with signs "housing" were in place. For the sake of interest, we asked the price - 1000-1200 rubles. We did not elaborate on the details. Arriving at the address and finding, as agreed, the left keys under the rug, we entered the room. Yes, the dimensions of the apartment were impressive. Opening the door, we found an entrance hall (aka a kitchen), on the right hand - a bedroom, about 9 squares, on the left - an even more miserable bathroom. However, the remontik is quite fresh, and, in principle, there is everything you need, but no more than that - spoons, forks, plates, glasses - all in duplicate, again two small saucepans, an absolutely miserable frying pan and the bluntest knife, apparently in order to the guests did not cut each other drunk. But there was Wi-Fi, with a speed that allowed me to chat with relatives via Skype without any brakes. And another big plus is the location of the apartment (on the main street, equidistant from the bus station and from the embankment, as well as next to the market and ATB). Since it was still not too late, she went up to the hostess, who lived on the floor above, paid for 9 nights and demanded a frying pan of normal size. In the bedroom, apart from a bed, a TV, a table, two chairs and two bedside tables, there was nothing. Instead of a closet, there was only a hanger, but since we safely forgot the tailcoat and cocktail dress at home, this circumstance did not bother us much.
“If you want to lose weight, ask me how” (the inscription on the badge, as a rule, of a not very thin person)
Having thrown away our clothes, we went to the ATB. By the way, I thought it was renamed. Nothing happened. And the buffet also remained a buffet. Strange, incomprehensible. As it turned out, I was not ready for these prices! But, having restrained the first impulse to buy Mivina or its analogue for a week and having slightly come to her senses, she began to look more closely. It turned out that in principle, not everything is so bad. Bread cost the same as ours, eggs - not much cooler than ours, vegetables too. Somehow you can survive. I remembered my favorite program "Eagle and Tails". The one who loses does not get a gold card, but one hundred dollars. Ha, one hundred dollars! For two days! For one person! At the current exchange rate, this is 2300 UAH. More than a thousand come out a day. Our budget, including housing, was about 900 UAH. per day, but for TWO (that Schaub I lived at home like that! ). Next, I will give prices in rubles, so that everyone can understand, if we divide by 2, we get the price in hryvnia. The prices for meat, of course, were depressing, but, in principle, I don’t care about it. I have been holding all 4 posts a year for more than ten years, so I learned to do without dead things for as long as I like. And in general, what are we here to eat? Wanted to lose weight - get it! I'm going to the wine section. Here I was upset not like a child. Massandra wines (one of the reasons why I love Crimea) cost an average of 300-400 rubles. for a bottle. Okay, tomorrow we'll be in Vorontsovsky Park, we'll look there in the company store, for example, there were always discounts on NG, and even without discounts it was cheaper there than in Yalta. Beer is sad too. An average of 100 r per liter. Well, dummies! You can also drink beer at home. And today we will be satisfied with the brought cognac.
Day one. In order not to overwork so immediately, we planned a light warm-up walk along the Sunny Path (6711 m) followed by a visit to the Vorontsovsky Park with a stop at the Massandra brand store and the traditional drinking of the bastardo bought there on a bench by the mirror pond. By the way, the pond with the aforementioned bench was captured by one of the users of the site in one of the competition photos "Native Spaces". As it turned out, native, the expanses of the Crimea are not only for me, and the lion's share of the photos is dedicated to him.
At the clothing market, we boarded a minibus going through Livadia, from where the trail began, looked at the fares. It seems to be inexpensive, but cunningly so - to the Vorontsov Palace (14 km) - 25 r, and to Livadia - (3-4 km) - 20 r! Well, it's exactly the same! But the minibus still did not go there due to the collapse and repair of the road. We were offered to take another minibus, which stops across the road, but we decided to walk (what to go there? ). Through the embankment and Seaside Park we went to the highway. Elite skyscrapers in the park are still being built at an accelerated pace. And who buys apartments there? Under one of them was a tired Alfa Romeo with Mariupol license plates. Understandably! Although, it's not clear. A little further down the road is another construction site. This time - a water park with multi-storey parking. We came to the Livadia Palace and began our usual path along a painfully familiar path. As if there were no these one and a half years of separation! The trail is still the same sunny, the sea is still the same blue (sorry, Black). In some places it (the path) was even improved (screenings were sprinkled), but the walls blocking the view of the sea in some places are still there. Not in a hurry, in an hour and a half we covered almost 7 km, got into a minibus to drive up to the Vorontsov Palace (15 rubles). The minibus comes from above, and the store is located below. After running through the park to the bottom, we found a boarded-up store. Here is a bummer! As it turns out, it doesn't work at all now. Wandering dejectedly through the labyrinths of the park and sitting on a bench, they went home sober, like fools.
After returning home, we went to see what the central market can offer us. Usually, since our New Year's arrival coincided with Christmas Lent, I always bought offal of pike perch and pelengas (liver and caviar) at the market, which cost 2-3 times cheaper than the fish itself, because stupid land visitors, when buying fish, asked sellers to clean it . Well, they cleaned up, taking the delicacies for themselves and then selling them to advanced users at reduced prices. From these giblets I prepared a delicious fish soup. But bad luck, now was not the season of mass fishing, and there were no offal for sale! Again a bummer! We looked at the prices for fish - ambiguous. The assortment is quite large - both local and imported fish, but what surprised me - the prices are about the same for that one as for this one. According to my understanding, the local should, no, should be cheaper! However, that the katran (Black Sea shark), that the Far Eastern salmon cost the same - 300 rubles. But we bought both, because there is no katran in our city at all, and salmon is even more expensive than here. Rapana and mussels cost 400 rubles each. per kilo. They didn’t take it, it’s expensive, we’ll manage. What we found cheap is horse mackerel (100 rubles per kilo). Fish 15-20 cm each, you don’t need to clean at all, salt, dip in flour and fry. Song! Recommend. There was also a red mullet (she is also a sultan), but already 250, I had to try, I already regret it.
We looked at the meat - here it is much cheaper (350 r in ATB and 250 similar on the market), and the range is much wider. But still expensive. I bought dog bones - not from dogs, but for dogs - with traces of meat (20 rubles per kilo) and, having requested a large pot from the landlady, cooked borscht for a week. In general, our diet was as follows: for breakfast, grapefruit or an orange (60 rubles per kilo), coffee and cookies (brought from home), oatmeal (35 rubles per kg) and scrambled eggs (43 rubles a dozen).
Lunch - borscht with lard brought from home.
Dinner - fried fish and potatoes.
Second day. In addition to Yalta, we have another favorite place - the New World. Initially, we wanted to embrace the immensity in one visit and spend 5 days in Yalta and 3 in Sudak (New World is too expensive), but then we changed our minds and decided to just go for one day - you never know how life will turn out there, whether we will get there again, and I wanted to see my favorite places. Yes, and New World champagne in Yalta cost 500 rubles and we really hoped that it was cheaper on the spot. In the morning at 8.15 we boarded a direct bus from Yalta to Sudak (171 rubles per person), which followed the lower route. We have traveled this route only a couple of times in our lives, so it was interesting. But the serpentine there is crazy, the darling even got a little pumped up. On the way, I tried to shoot views from a moving bus, an occupation, I’ll tell you a fun one - either I’m slow, or a fotik, or both of us, but trees by the side of the road, or billboards, fell into the frame all the time. Only once my torment was rewarded - a horse that jumped out of nowhere accidentally got into the frame, and even that turned out to be slightly blurry. A distance of about 80 km drove for a very long time - almost four hours, with stops in Morskoy and Rybachy (or Malorechensky, I don’t remember). The villages on the coast are absolutely deserted, only two mothers met with two small children.
At 11.55 we arrived in Sudak. Oddly enough, but no one rushed to our chests with an offer of housing. Some taxi drivers. We went to the bus station to find out how to get back. It turned out that the flight to Yalta was 15 something. We didn't like it, it was too early. We bought tickets for the last flight to Simferopol at 17.55 (130 R/person). We went down to the lower platform to the buses going to the New World. But since the season has not yet begun, they went once an hour, and the next one will be only a few minutes later. We decided to go on foot (what is there to go - to the fortress of 3 kilometers and to the New World 6). We walked around the city, went to the market to compare prices with Yalta - the average is the same. We walked along the deserted cypress alley and along the embankment. How I missed them! In wine shops, the same depressing picture - there is nothing on tap, and bottles are too expensive. Yes, it's hard now to be an alcoholic in the Crimea! Passing by the fortress, they began to climb the serpentine leading to the New World. What spectacular views there! In fact, in these places we have already captured all the trees, bushes and all the rocks for many years, but I could not resist and started taking pictures again.
Closer to the New World is the beach where we stood every summer. Went down there. Nobody! Having bathed in cool water (according to the weather forecaster, 10 degrees), since it was quite hot, they only put on shorts, well, I still have a top from a swimsuit. We went to the village. At the bus station, they found out when the flight back was convenient for us. The locals, dressed in jackets, stared at us in bewilderment. One man even stopped unloading the car and, after saying hello, asked: “Well, has the season already started? ”. It was April 27th. We went to a champagne store. Here brut cost already 385 rubles. (Well, at least not 500). Practically a freebie. A month ago, we bought a similar champagne in one of the supermarkets in our city for 100 UAH, but before leaving, we specially went to see it - but no, it's over! But they decided to postpone the drinking of sweets for a little later, and first walk along the Golitsyn trail. Since the season has not yet begun, we assumed that the Kalitka cooperative was not yet working, and we could go the usual way, like the rest of decent people, and not go through the hole in the fence that we know, figuratively speaking. So yes, no one charged a fee, and this year it was, according to the plate, 100 rubles. (Last time it was 30 hryvnia). The forester who painted the toilet green did not pay any attention to us. After wandering through the juniper grove, breathing in the unique air, we went to yarn, having previously entered the lower company store. Having bought 2 bottles at once out of greed, they spread out a towel and, having undressed, began to savor their favorite drink, snacking on cheese taken from home, along the way enjoying the view of the most beautiful Novosvetskaya bay. There were no locker rooms, not even shops. There are no more than a dozen people besides us. Having finished with champagne, we decided that it was time to freshen up. Holding back a squeal, languidly went into the water and forced herself to swim a couple of meters. She left just as slowly. But the attraction, alas, failed. My example did not inspire anyone, and there were no more people who wanted to swim. Having dried a little and changed into trousers and a blouse, since it was getting dark and it was cold from the sea, we went to the bus station. They didn’t drink the second bottle, they saved it. On the way, they asked about the cost of housing - 1500-2000. Not bad!
Having safely reached Sudak, and from there to Simferopol, we took tickets to Yalta. And, since we still had 20 minutes left, we went to look at the railway station. Unusually empty, it made a depressing impression. On the scoreboard, opposite the name of almost all flights, it was written “cancelled”. There was only a Moscow-Simferopol flight. We hurried out of there as soon as possible. Approaching Yalta already in the dark, we admired the panorama of the city at night from the mountain. By the way, there were no rolling blackouts during our stay there. We arrived at 22.00. The return trip took the same four hours, but it turned out to be more expensive than a direct flight.
(to be continued)
