Не плохо, но и не хорошо Not bad, but not good either

To be honest, on the first day of my stay, I was just in shock. But after thinking like “Where to go from the submarine”, calming down, I realized that this is a normal average 4 * hotel, and I expected very good, as it was on previous trips. Hotel El Greko in my opinion - for families without children, ie. married couples of older and retirement age.
Location and area.
From Heraklion 1.5 hours by taxi (the transfer was provided by a travel agency - we didn’t have to wait, almost immediately after leaving the airport we were seated and sent to the hotel).

The seclusion of the location of El Greko, which was declared on the official website, is very relative: you won’t get to the nearest city of Rethymno on foot (by bus 20-25 minutes to the center for 1.2 euros), there are only a couple of shops nearby, but about silence as such, there can be no question: directly behind the hotel there is a lower road, where, by the way, there is a bus stop, and 200-300 m from it is the main island route. There is constant heavy traffic on both sides (despite the absence of AvtoVAZ products, exhaust gases have not been canceled). "Fields of wheat and poppies" (from the tour booklet) consisted of a couple of wastelands of 10-15 acres each with indistinct vegetation (apparently, the "environmentally friendly" crop had already been harvested by the road). Possible options for walking around the nearby surroundings are not numerous: the hotel area is small, there is practically one route between the hotel and the road, i. e. on the strength of 15 minutes, well, at a very slow pace. There is no perimeter bypass. By the way, there is a children's playground right next to the road. Or walking along the narrow sidewalk along the road towards Rethymnon (in the other direction you immediately get to the highway). Fifteen minutes later, shops and cafe-restaurants begin. The roadsides in Crete are lined with model churches - if I understand correctly, an analogue of our roadside wreaths. This is about car rentals and narrow sidewalks.
Sand and pebble beach near the hotel under the windows, you can go up the stairs bypassing the reception. It is very narrow, which excludes lying in the third line from the water, and on the main stretch in the second. Entering the water between concrete breakwater piers - you need to find a more or less sandy exit, since there are mainly boulders and large pebbles on the way at the water's edge, shallow for quite a long time from the shore. In September, the sea often stormed (it was impossible to sleep with an open window at night - it was very noisy), but people jumped into the seething water with pleasure, regardless of the color of the flag, which the chubby lifeguard, whose job apparently consisted more in the rare rental of water equipment, didn’t give a damn vacationers. After a storm, a lot of algae washed up on the shore, which under the sun began to smell strongly. Then all day long along the beach through sunbathing on "guarded layings of eggs of turtles Carriage-Careta" drove them (algae) and removed a tractor smelling of diesel fuel.
An absolute plus is free sunbeds and umbrellas both at the pools and on the beach, and hotel beach towels.
Pools are, of course, one of the main catches: in the travel agency, they convinced me with foam at the mouth that two huge pools overlooking the sea from the water's edge are publicly available. In fact, both of them have four languages ​ ​ on both sides, incl. in Russian warning "Only for bungalows. " From the central public sea, you can only see it while standing, and it has a variable depth (from 1.5 m to 3.5 m, apparently for diving, but there is no tower).
Hotel building, room.

The architecture is fairly standard 70s style, expressiveness is achieved by the terraces of residential buildings with landscaped bungalow roofs and a pavilion-shaped center with reception and restaurants, which is most likely the newest part of the complex. It has a nicely decorated lobby. The rest of the hotel (residential buildings) retained the decoration of the time of construction: corridors with oil-painted walls and stencil paintings a la a pioneer camp, worn carpet; rooms with tiled floors and shabby-beaten semi-metal-semi-wicker furniture, rusty plumbing drains and poorly closing taps (original rust masking with white oil paint! I have not seen this yet) Of the advertised marble in the bathroom, only the countertop, the rest is the cheapest tile with painted seams. The balcony in the room is large equipped with a dryer, two armchairs and a table. Still a bed. The bed is very comfortable and does not creak. Safe for a fee. There are 3 Russian channels (1st, Planet and RBC; by the way, I would not like our country to be judged by the first two - you can decide that we are all idiots). There are mosquitoes at night. And very, very humid: even in the sun, towels do not dry well, but in the bathroom - not at all. I hung it on the door covering the minibar, and it was like a battery. By the way, the minibar was empty, but with a freezer and an ice cube tray, which was very convenient.
Nutrition.
This is the main disappointment of the hotel. Worse in 4-stars, I met only in the city (! ) Station (! ) Dry Leuven in Munich. Unripe tomatoes and melons, overripe salad, one type of hot meat or fish and only in a queue, basin salads of unknown origin and "lasagna" (do not even try to try, I know from experience, you will pay) desserts that differ only in design. Of course, you won’t die of hunger, but “tasty and with pleasure” is not here (in city taverns - yes). ALL drinks at dinner are paid and expensive, even morning tea bags (there is no other for dinner) tea. The main intrigue of hotel catering is the search for a free table. No more variety. And so, when the "Cretan Chef's Dinner" was offered in an obsessive manner for 47 euros per person without the cost of drinks, you understand...
Staff.
There were Russian girls at the reception and in the restaurant, which certainly facilitated our access to the necessary information.
Apparently, the hotel is sorely lacking in staff, the rooms were cleaned all day, you must definitely hang a “do not disturb” sign, otherwise at the most crucial moment they will burst into you after a short knock, you won’t even have time to pull up the blanket.
The remark of many about “non-stickiness” is surprising: we could never calmly pass through the hall so that a man renting a car would not cling to us. And the waiters patting you on the shoulder, climbing with handshakes and loud cries of “Kalimera! Kalispera! ” I read admiring reviews about the singing chef at the hotel: he looks very strained when he suddenly starts “humming under his breath” 20 times a night, arranging a line for overdried meat with a cry for the whole room.
We got the impression that in the restaurant the staff is oriented to speak English or Greek, even Russians with Russians. And there was no Russian flag in front of the hotel.
Animation, etc.

Sometimes they play volleyball on the beach. And in the central pool and on the terrace by the road, they do something like aerobics in the morning. With the children every evening, the animators arranged dances under “Walking Ducklings”. It's very funny to watch kids jumping. On the last day of my stay, I found out from the questionnaire that the hotel had a spa center somewhere. Everything.
Vacationers.
A lot of compatriots, Poles. Germans, Czechs and British.
In general, a hotel for people without any special claims, desires and who have nothing to compare with - not bad, but not good either.
On the island.
In addition to the Palace of Knossos, there are no world-class attractions in Crete.
The rest is curious, since you ended up in Crete for a few days, no more. The main component of the excursions is visiting workshops and shops of handicraft and souvenir products. By the way, it’s cheaper to Knossos (1.3 euros from Heraklion and 10 for the palace and the Archaeological Museum) and it’s easier to go on your own and better in the order of the palace, then the museum, so as not to be disappointed in the authenticity of the preserved one.
Shopping: our people here manage to buy something in bales, probably fur coats. The rest is cheap counterfeit and handicrafts. Huge peaches and the sweetest huge plums. The local wine seemed to me too simple, fusel (no wonder Greek wine is not imported to us). The cost of dinner in taverns at the average European level is 15-20 euros per person.
The main attraction of the island is the sea and the sun. In September, the stormy sea is warm, and when it is overcast, you can sunbathe and burn out even prepared for a tan. Moreover, clouds are rare.