Собираясь в рай, готовтесь к аду! When you go to heaven, prepare for hell!

INDIA:
Not a country, but a fairy tale! Films and photos do not convey this riot of nature and wildlife! Everything is exotic! There is probably dirt, but it did not bother me. Hunching himself, somewhere on the sidelines. Of course, the Indians, in their own Indian way, keep clean. On heaps of rubbish there are always hryundels, very similar to our wild boars, but very friendly. We did not see cows in the city. They graze with the shepherds in the field. Once I saw a cow that hung out with pigs in the garbage. But on the beach, to the delight of tourists, they brought a goby to swim in the ocean. While she was looking for a camera and ran to take a picture, to general applause, the bull was taken out of the ocean and taken to the village. Exactly at 19 o'clock it becomes very dark. Goa is a poorly lit city. So take a flashlight with you.
LOCAL NATIVES:

India is a very poor country. Beggars are an essential attribute of India. Fortunately, they are unobtrusive and not thieves. Of course Indians are gypsies,
but it doesn't spoil them at all. When you exit the airport, they will snatch your bag from your hands so that you can carry it to the bus for 100 Russian rubles. If these expenses are not included in your budget, send a scoundrel to collect coconuts on a palm tree. And he immediately disappears into the crowd. True, a new assistant will be drawn. Well, if you want to feel like a real foreigner, give your bag to an Indian. He will gladly carry it safely to the bus and even load it. All bags in India are transported on the roof of cars. With joy, any Indian will take a picture with you and with even greater joy take a picture of you as a keepsake. Indian women and men at the sight of a tourist will always say hello, wave their hand and even try to talk to you. Indians are pretty clean. They may walk barefoot, but they will be dressed in impeccably clean and ironed clothes.
OCEAN:
I want to go back! Its godlike!! ! It's warm and transparent!
With white sand and great power!! ! There are always big waves on it, absolutely not dangerous. Pronounced ebb and flow. The safety of tourists is at a high level. Lifeguards equipped with a walkie-talkie sit every 50 meters along the entire beach. And God forbid you swim far! You will be whistled for a long time, and then they will simply drag you ashore. At night, the stars with the moon lie on the ocean. You simply must see it! The waves of the ocean glow in pitch darkness. My friend and I walked at night from Colva - about 20 minutes on foot along the ocean. Scared to death in Moscow: by crocodiles, snakes, maniacs, who must certainly rape or rob us, or rather kill us. I quickly realized that no one cares about us. An English family on bicycles with a child rode to the meeting. I think this is an indication. One afternoon, fishermen, along with fish from the ocean, dragged a snake in nets. The snake wriggled and crawled towards the ocean for a long time. Tourists surrounded her and began to film. Apparently

so that later at home to scare friends that the Indian Ocean is simply teeming with snakes. The snake quickly caught the foamy wave and swam away with a determined opinion not to be caught in the net again and in the eyes of curious tourists.
TAXI:
There are no problems with taxis in Goa. Prices are the same near the hotel and on the road. It is better to negotiate with a taxi driver on the way there and back. That will be cheaper. The taxi driver will wait for you for 2-3 hours. Well, of course, to bargain. If you don't agree, turn around and leave. Believe me, he will catch up with you. We went to the night market. The taxi driver offered in a straight line - 2.000 rupees a trip. If he takes us to two stores, then 1.200 rupees. When getting into the car, the taxi driver turned on the song "Jimi Jimi ocha ocha" for us. It was my high point! For 1.5 hours, the taxi driver and I sang along and played this song again and again to my great joy and the healthy laughter of fellow travelers. On the way back, he staged a Russian repertoire and also sang along with him. It touched us so much
There, on a well-groomed territory, there is a hotel swimming pool. The road to the beach takes 6-8 minutes at a leisurely pace according to a fairy tale. After the rice field, you need to cross the very beautiful territory of the **** hotel. And that's it, you are at the finish line. After the hotel, on the left you will take away the hut. There, change your $ and EUREKA. A very good course. Well, after the exchange of currencies exactly 15 steps forward. And in front of you is the beach.
CAFE OR SHEIKI GOA:
On the beach near each neck there are sunbeds and umbrellas. Look where the most people are. Go there. Definitely good food there! Sunbeds are free, but you will be asked to eat and buy drinks in this neck. We looked after ourselves a cafe immediately from the path to the right. A super massage therapist Gopur works at the cafe. Bargain with him too and enjoy a massage every day. A boy of 16 Raj works in the neck. Every day he drove and brought my girlfriend on a moped to Colva.

DO NOT regret leaving 10 rupees for tea (6 rubles for our money) and you will be the main guest on the beach. You will be served a table of beautiful dishes. Shake out the sand cover while you're out in the ocean looking for a shark. We left a circle and a blanket in the neck for the night, so as not to drag it to our stall. In the evening, due to the small number of tourists, all attempts by the Indians to create a disco were unsuccessful. Therefore, in order to get to the dances, catch a taxi and dump. Well, if dances are not your direction, then you will be given a table with candles near the ocean. And you, eating seafood, will enjoy the Indian night and the ocean. Indians are very fond of our sweets. At our request, the shrimp were cooked, not grilled. Replaced potatoes and rice with shrimp. Of course, the Indians are mistaken, but unlike our brother, not in a big way, but in a minus. They are very happy when you tell them that they miscalculated. And they often forgive, saying that a gift from the institution.
Get food poisoning, no matter how hard we tried, we didn't get it. Yes, and it is not possible in the tourist area. We bought a liter bottle of chilled water for 20 rupees. A glass of survived juice with you - 30 rupees. Shark 200-350 rupees.
Alagoa Resort 2* - WELCOME TO HELL!
In Moscow, as seasoned tourists, we were very meticulously looking for a hotel. We laughed heartily at the negative reviews for this hotel. Unfortunately, I did not yet know that soon I myself would write a negative and receive in response: What did you want? What India itself is like in your eyes……. . . We scrupulously read the catalog of the hotel and peered at the pictures. You know, this is heaven! What we need! There simply can't be a trick. Hotel building, all rooms with balconies, deluxe rooms. Everything is confirmed in the photographs. Our paradise was destroyed upon arrival at the hotel. We arrived at the hotel at 10 am. And a polite manager of 40 years through our guide reported. Check-in from 12 noon. The hotel loves its tourists very much.

Leave your things until the evening in the annex. In the evening we will move you to your room. We didn't know - this was the start of a big scam called ALAGOA. True, we are not supposed to have breakfast. Check-in is only at 12 noon. I really dreamed of losing weight during the holidays. The hotel helped me in every way in my desire. For breakfast we were served one glass of Jupi. Choice of two egg scrambled eggs or two soft-boiled eggs. Two pieces of white bread. If you're lucky - fried in a toast, no luck, if you please, eat like that. Jam was served only on the first day of breakfast - one teaspoon. In the following days, jam was served if the waiter liked you. In other matters, the rooms were also issued not according to the voucher, but according to personal sympathy for the tourist. And if the waiter doesn’t like it, he will give out oil like on an airplane. Drink your choice of a cup of tea or coffee. Sugar was given in abundance, I won’t lie. We left our things and ran to the ocean.
In the evening, the manager fed us a “breakfast” about moving to another room, but not today, but tomorrow. This was the beginning of the battle for the room, which we bought back in Moscow. We went to the room and tried to at least somehow get settled. Not a single prospectus, not a single operator, not a word about an extension! Not a word about these numbers! Our room was more like a stable, and at night it simply turned into a torture chamber. Toilet bowl: dirty and broken. It was impossible to sit on it, it just crackled! The faeces were not washed away! The attendants gave me a stick to push the feces down the toilet. Shower: causes laughter, but then at a temperature of + 33C0 it created a lot of problems for us! The hole in the half-drain was clogged. There was no hot water at all. Summer water was supplied only at 14 o'clock. I had to wash near the **** hotel under the shower on the street! To the delight of the Indians and the amazement of tourists. The air conditioning had simply rotted away years before we arrived.
And he simply had nothing to cool the air with. He turned into dust. You could only open the windows when you were in your room. There was a roof under the windows. Getting into the room was not difficult. On the rooftop, the hotel workers either added garbage, then reduced it, then knocked down coconuts. Local living creatures also ran across the roof often. That's how we slept at night: one sleeps, and the other sits near the window, so that at least somehow refresh the stable. Instead of a balcony, a mini bay window. The latches in the window did not always close, so things in the room were left with a prayer. Thank God they didn't steal! The furniture did not even pull on * a star! Nailed boards instead of nightstands. No wall lamps or chandeliers in the room. Light bulbs were on. The wiring was asked every day not to catch fire and not close. The floor in the room is just poured cement with a crumb of stone. There was no telephone. Refrigerator and minibar brought only on the 3rd day of our stay.
And on the 4th day of our stay, without knocking, an Indian came in with a bucket, collected a minibar and, together with a refrigerator, took it out of our stall. A healthy question arises: “Why was the door to our stable open? ". Answer: “Toli the door sagged, or the heck was painted over. Therefore, it did not fulfill its function of “closing”. At night, they put my bed at the door. Cleaned the room for 5 days once. At 10 am, an Indian came and just pushed us out of the room. Explaining that we are preventing him from getting out. Our guides, we've been sent far and wide. Their phones started working only after a call from Moscow. The guides of other tour operators foreshadowed us a quick death in the jungle from a coconut hit on the head. The guests of the hotel in our history were divided into two groups. The first group: just like we were settled in the outhouse-cane, they said softly, “well done”! And they advised them to rent an apartment nearby and not suffer.

The second half: was settled in rooms according to the proposed price list at home. They were all good. They offered us not to spoil their vacation with their heart-to-heart conversations at the reception with the hotel manager and guide. On the fourth day of our torture, we called the Moscow travel agency Hot Tours on Pushkinskaya. It was through them that the tour to this hotel was bought. We told the manager Xenia about the absurdity of the situation in which we found ourselves. Exactly an hour later, the director of Hot Tours on Pushkinskaya herself called us and slightly scolded us for not calling them right away. And he promised that he would immediately resolve the issue of moving us to another hotel. Now I can proudly say that if you fly, then through the "Last Tours on Pushkinskaya": they will get it out of copper pipes and take it out of the fire and save it from the well. Two hours later, to our surprise, our guide called. He said that the host is giving us a gift from the company and transferring us to another hotel.
We were transferred free of charge to another hotel. But this is a completely different and happy story…………