"Пара строк" про неплохой бюджетный отель "A couple of lines" about a good budget hotel

After reading a dozen reviews about the Prima villa hotel, I was already mentally prepared to set up staff with torn, soiled, hand-scratched sheets, towels, walls, missing mugs, spoons, slippers, to impolite maids who only think how dirty you can clean room, to huge furry monsters that are waiting for you to fall asleep, and lie down on a pillow nearby, and, of course, to a ten-meter layer of water in the toilet.
Maybe this is luck and a positive attitude to rest, but nothing worse than the lack of cheese at breakfast in the hotel, and in the country itself, has not happened to us. Everything that concerns impressions about Asia as such, about the places visited and about entertainment: everyone's business is purely subjective, but I will try to give an objective description of the place of stay.
We arrived, of course, earlier than the set check-in time (14:00). We got up to the room after 40 minutes, it doesn’t matter, you can wait so long, not in line for the sausage. If you read reviews about 3-star hotels, then you will not be upset by the absence of ermine carpets on the stairs and the elevator inlaid with sapphires. The only first impression about the hall was: “dusty and shabby”, but then the eye blurred and did not pay attention to it.

Deluxe room. Spacious, clean. Safe: working properly, bar: a standard set of water and beer, which you can safely drink, buy at a nearby store and put back. Every day a bottle of water, coffee, sugar is provided free of charge per person; for two: shampoo, conditioner, soap, cotton swabs))) and a shower cap). 2 large towels, 2 small ones are changed every day, bed linen every three days. There are two pairs of slates, an umbrella!! ), a kettle, tea accessories, booze accessories), a TV (I have never turned it on, I can’t say anything), a bed, bedside tables, a table, an armchair, two chairs on the balcony, a wardrobe and even hangers in it . There is a bath, shower, hair dryer, nothing comes from anywhere.
Breakfast until 10:30. The set is constant, but you can diversify thanks to your imagination, changing dishes every day. Boiled eggs, fried thin and not so, chicken sausages, pork, ham, chocolate flakes, simple, cucumbers, tomatoes, lettuce, fruits, juices, tea, coffee, toast, buns, pancakes, rice, potatoes, traditional Thai soup, some kind of vegetable crap and a lot of boilers, from which I never took anything, we don’t know, we don’t know. My super breakfast: fried toast smeared with sauce, lettuce, ham, onions, cucumbers and even a bunch of green onions on top))).
Ahh, I forgot, but you probably already read that when you check in, you give a 100 bucks deposit, which you will safely return to your wallet when you leave. Just don't lose your receipt. And, how nice it will be in duty free, when you are no longer with a penny or a shish, like a couple of hours ago, you return home already with a hundred dollars)).
Internet is paid, 50 baht per hour, 120 baht per day. I don’t see anything wrong with this, “Instagrammers” can endure to any cafe (almost everywhere there is free Wi-Fi), ordinary people can relax and throw gadgets into the sea, or, like us, sometimes buy for 120 baht. Anyway, you will spend half of your vacation on excursions and outside the hotel, so it makes no sense to take Wi-Fi every day.
You go to the beach or to the pool (two of them, normal, correspond to a three-ruble note), take towels from the porter, sign in his ledger that you took such and such a number of towels and return strictly before 19:00, again against signature))). If you still forgot to pass, smile))). One of our compatriots, going to a social event in the evening)) gave a towel along the way at one in the morning, and nothing chic smile, drunken squint, and you are forgiven. And the other child somehow wrote down the number in a skewed way, as a result, he passed 3 instead of the indicated 4. Without knowing a word in English, she yelled soooo... it didn’t lead to anything good.

About English, even if you know it, the staff terribly swallows words, and draws sounds that even the most avid linguist will hardly understand them. Sign language: that's what they understand perfectly)).
And by the way, 5-7 minutes to the beach. By location: North Pattaya, in my opinion, is the best option. A normal beach, with clean water, no nailed packages, gobies, bottles, snags. At high tide, maybe some leaf will hook you. For me, the situation on the beaches of Koh Lana is identical. In the center, yes, tin. We chose a hotel only in the North according to the principle, it is better to drive with a breeze on a tuk to the center for 15 minutes, more precisely to the “cesspool of debauchery”)) and live in a quiet area with a cleaner sea than in noise and stink. Party-goers and ardent shopoglies, of course, are more prudent to choose a hotel in the center. And if you are an old, rotten perverted grandfather of German origin, who, after traveling to Thailand, has the next stop at the cemetery, you are right in the center. Sorry for the black humor)) but without exaggeration we saw the grandfather of 85 years old))). There, neither the necessary limb rises, the sand pours there. And they also say only Russians in Pattaya, not a damn thing like that, there are only Germans with secrets))
Near the hotel there are two local Maria-Ra, good money exchangers, fruit, shawarma, pancake makers, florists, for massages it is better to go to Naklua street itself, along which tuks drive (at a quiet pace for about 10 minutes).
Attention: there is construction going on next to the hotel. Our room faced the opposite side and there was no noise. But people living in rooms with windows on the construction site, I think, strained to squeal somewhere from 8:00 in the morning and maybe until 17:00.
So, analyze well what you want to get from your vacation, how much time you will spend in the hotel, arm yourself with a good mood, protective cream and go towards an unforgettable vacation.