Adventures of Ukrainians in Tunisia
We came to Tunisia by chance. I never planned, thought or dreamed of visiting Tunisia. Even in the bookstore among the guidebooks, when planning or thinking about the next trip, the DK book with that name was never once looked at. One Saturday autumn day we are sitting at work, in the office, and I suddenly say: “Vasya, how are we going to celebrate your birthday? Let's go somewhere, shall we? ". We called the travel agency, there were no burning ones in Egypt, in November it turns out to be the season there. And there is in Tunisia and inexpensive. And what is it? Is it even warm there? Warm, warm. . .
Two days later we were in Tunisia. We read on the Internet that vodka is highly valued there and it can be exchanged for any product at the market, so we took three bottles with us. One to give to the hotel reception in order to get the best room. And two - to exchange for something very cool at the market. Remembering this, I laugh again - Ha-Ha-Ha. They dragged a full Chumadan of vodka for three nine lands, and what was the result? They gave me a bottle at the reception. So what? The room is ordinary, exactly the same as the women from our group - they were settled in the neighborhood. And before giving vodka to the administrator, they asked the Russian-speaking escort of the group, he was surprised at first, said that the rooms are the same everywhere, then he approached the administrator and asked - Do you want vodka? He didn't refuse. Gave us the keys and says - The best! The best number! Imagination drew chic apartments. And then we bought vouchers for $ 230 per person!
The hotel is shabby, not located in Sousse itself, but close to it - on the highway, in the middle between the city and the chic town - a settlement for tourists called Port el Kantaoui. If I had to choose a place where we will live, now I would go only there. It is very civilized there, if there are locals, then they are few and they are also civilized - more or less. At least no one rushes at you as much as in Sousse itself. There are luxurious yachts from different parts of the world in the Port, Europeans have a rest and everything is very beautiful. In general, we went there for a walk once or twice, or rather drove up in a taxi. Walk 20 minutes, taxi - 5.
We went for a walk in Sousse. In the old city - the medina. Locals ask: "Are you the first time in Tunisia? Good! (Good - in our opinion)". And happily rub their hands. They rip everywhere. Moreover, you know that you will be cheated, and there is nothing you can do about it! Example. Went to eat in Sousse. We decided not to go to a restaurant for tourists with cosmic prices, but to an ordinary cafe - for locals. First of all, it's completely unsanitary. The local bought himself a cheeseburger, cracked open the top bun, let out a fly, and eats on. Appetite immediately disappeared (we have). Yes, they don’t have tomato juice, it’s full of all sorts of fresh juices. Ordered tomato juice. " Tasty! Tasty! " the waiter convinced us. Rare bullshit! In short, we paid a lot of money and left hungry. We pass by the next restaurant - for tourists. Nevertheless, we decided to go in, have a smoke, so that no one would pester for a while. So that we are not ripped off again, we ask for a little ice cream and the smallest cola glass (meaning a glass bottle). After a while, a waiter comes out with an ice cream house of enormous height and a liter! a glass of cola. – Ha-ha-ha! “But we have such glasses - less - no! ”
Women - our neighbors - went to the beach on the first day. They lie, they burn. Suitable Tunisian. Such a kind, joyful, smiling! He says: "You are the first time in Tunisia? Good! ". Nate, this is a gift for you. And gives them some kind of small fruit. The women were so happy, what a kind, hospitable people! The fruit was eaten. Tasty. And he pounced: “Give me 10 dinars! ” If they had, they would, of course, give it - out of fear. But only the first day. The money has not yet been exchanged.
I'm not talking about markets at all. Prices can be set a hundred times higher than usual. Especially when they find out that you are in Tunisia for the first time. We went to the market in Nabeul, where they make their painted ceramics. From there they ship all over the country. It is the cheapest there - 2-4-6 dinars per plate. Beautiful, colorful, colorful. Quality - I do not know, in doubt. I would like to buy all different-sized plates, bowls, dishes and saucers. I'm holding my own. Bought only a couple of pieces. But Vasya suddenly found it extremely necessary to purchase a drum. “Why do you need him? Change your mind! And where are you going to store it? ". No. I want everything. I clung to this drum like a little one. And shouts "" It's my birthday soon! This will be my gift! ". Okay. Let's bargain with the seller. They wanted to make him happy and change the drum for a bottle of vodka, which they took with them to the market for this purpose. It wasn't here. For some reason, none of the natives wanted to give up any product for a priceless bottle (as it was written on the Internet). In short, the seller did just for us! a symbolic price for a drum of 10 dinars plus a bottle of vodka. Happy, let's move on with the drum. And then we meet the same drums. We ask why. 10 dinars. This is without bidding and without vodka. – Ha-ha-ha! They screwed up again! And why did they only drag vodka, because it’s heavy after all!
At the exit from the market, I look - oh, what pretty wicker handbags, tiny ones like puppets. I want a bag! You can put a wallet there and a guide to Tunisia, so as not to carry it in your hands. Why bags? 75 dinars. Knowing the cunning grabbers, the bidding was cruel. We traded for twenty minutes. They threw it off to 20. We go with a handbag, we look - exactly the same, and even more beautiful - 7 each! -Ha! Again! The next day we went on a tour. I dressed up in a chic rural dress under a wicker bag I bought. Just got out of the car, happily waving a brand new bag, and suddenly - once! - and the bottom of a super-quality (according to the seller) bag falls off, and all the contents fall out to the ground. We were twisted with laughter. But that is not all.
We went on an excursion to Sidi Bou Said. Gorgeous colorful town. Dinars are over. There are only dollars and a card. Well, who knew that there were no banks in Sidi Bou Said. And there are no ATMs either. It's getting close to dinner. And so you want to eat. And I want to drink too. And suddenly, we pass by a respectable and very expensive restaurant for tourists. And they accept both cards and dollars. Let it be expensive, but we will eat, ur-r-ra! We ordered two delicious teas with nuts in tiny cups, one jar of cola, one vegetable salad (the most inexpensive) and one fish for two - in order to save money. They brought a bill - for $ 60. But! They gave me a card. After 20 minutes, the waiter comes, says the card is not accepted. Okay, they gave me $100. We are waiting for the surrender. Long time no. Brings - 6 dinars (this is about $ 6). Where's the other $30? The waiter was surprised, throws another 2 dinars, and says - on, rejoice! Don't spoil your nerves, this is Tunisia, I reassure myself.
On the last day, there were no dinars left at all. And dollars too. For the whole week of our stay in Tunisia, we did not buy any of the pleasant memorabilia. I wanted to bring something truly Tunisian with me. Olive oil, for example. Or jasmine oil for massage. We took a VISA card, a bottle of vodka and went shopping. We went to a tourist shop where local handicrafts and souvenirs are sold, and you can pay by card. A little more expensive than in the bazaar, but then, no one sticks to you, and you can safely look at everything. We spent a whole hour choosing gifts for friends and relatives, we approached the cashier, held out a card (it had $ 250 on it) and in response we heard - your card is empty, there is 0 money on it. Oh! This was filmed in a restaurant! “There are only swindlers around! ”, - as one of my work colleagues used to say.
We wandered to the market, hoping to exchange vodka for any product we liked, which will be our souvenir, as a keepsake. Vasya saw the knives, asks - is it a good blade? “No, what are you, this is TOURIST STEEL! ” -Ha! -Ha! -Ha! This has become a popular expression for us after Tunisia. Sellers poke their goods in the face - buy, buy! And we: "Change - for a bottle of vodka. " No, come on dinars. No - in the same tone - change to vodka. I realized that we can’t buy for money, I immediately came off. Without buying anything, we leave the shop. He runs out after him, and in pursuit he shouts in Russian: “Plyakhoy! Plyakhoy! Fuck you! ” Vasya was upset, and I had a hysterical laugh. I remembered everything - the restaurant, and the card, and a new bag without a bottom, etc. And this is the whole of Tunisia!
We ride the bus back to the plane, and our female neighbors say: “Oh, look, what are they doing on the roads? Vasya - seriously like this: "So these are monuments. Tourists!
