Club hotel tess 3* Club hotel tess 3*

E p i gr a f: Hotel "Tess" is an example of a hotel in which, before you go, you need to think 100 times.
Geographic features, beach and more.
=========================================
The hotel is located in the village of Konakli. The climate in July is aggressively hot (up to 38 degrees), the humidity is very significant, the nights are without stars, in the morning it is cloudy; by about 10 a. m. the clouds disperse (by the way, there is nothing to compare the place with the Caucasian coast in terms of climate, but, recalling the stories of older people, we can assume that the climate is similar to Batumi, now inaccessible for Russians to relax). Linen dries only in the sun, hair, such an impression, never completely dries. Sunburn - sharp, specials are needed. means to prevent burns.
Somewhere near the horizon there are mountains, and it seems that it is better not to meddle in them.

The sea in Konakli is known to be restless even in the absence of a breeze. In the direction of Antalya, the sea is calmer, but the coast is either completely undeveloped, or is represented by super-expensive hotels. In Konakli, one can say that there is no calm as such. For calm, you can take about 0.5-1 point of unrest. It is difficult to swim in a mask with a snorkel, it floods the snorkel. Sometimes the wind brings garbage in the form of anything, up to feminine hygiene items (there was an influx 2 times during the stay). The biology of the coast is such that near it, even when there is no debris, dark green algae swim, washed out of the layered coastline, like cut leaves. You swim a little, and the water becomes clear.
The underwater world on the beach of the Tess Hotel is unremarkable - first coarse sand, then a stone slab; not far from the shore, a slab suddenly appears and you can easily climb it and stand up almost to your full height. Further, the depth gradually increases. In stormy conditions, the place where the slab begins seems to be better to swim with caution, because. with a wave, a swimmer's stomach can strike a stone.
The near sandy bottom is replete with stones unpleasant for the feet, you need to get out of the water slowly, easily
get scratched. Enthusiasts throw annoying stones ashore, spontaneous piles appear.
The size of the Tess hotel beach is small - 30 meters. On the left is the beach of a five-star hotel (not much different), on the right is an undeveloped area with a terrible entrance, only a stone slab, no sand. On the right, a strange micro-beach adjoins, it is not clear whose (a strip of 10 meters), fenced off with plastic tapes.
On the right, approximately at the level of the micro-beach, there is a wooden pier with a ladder to descend into the water. From the pier you can fish, dive or be suddenly thrown into the sea from a height of about 3 meters by local punks, who hang out like that, sometimes dispersed (only one guard out of 3 decides to disperse, he is older and more determined; the other two are young guys, do not go to the pier). In principle, children and women should be careful not to go to the pier unaccompanied.
By the way, this rule applies not only to the pier, but to everything around. For example, sellers. . . They are here (however, like here in Russia) are divided into normal and "not quite". The first are traded, friendly, smiling. Others, on the contrary, are aggressive, on occasion they can be rude and even kick out by using force. No one in Konakli and Alanya will offer you tea or water to drink, as in Egypt or some other places in Turkey,

This is a feature of this particular area. The most polite (albeit restrained) are sellers of sweets and jewelry. The least loyal are food sellers.
The path to the beach is quite short - 100 meters, past a 5-star hotel with direct access to the sea. On the way you see dirt, the street is not cleaned (on the other side of the 5-star hotel, for some reason it is cleaned, but here they probably won’t agree on investing money in cleaning). Along the road, next to the sidewalk, completely lined with cars (!! ! it would be a little cooler to walk along the sidewalk - trees, but alas... ), stretches a shallow groove with rotten
water. Somewhere in the middle of the path, a slight smell of sewer smells from behind the fence of someone else's hotel.
Through the state On the road, towards the mountains, there is a giant bazaar with a myriad of shops, walking along which for some people (husbands, for example, or children) in the heat is hellish torment. In principle, you can buy something (for example, leather goods) cheaper than in Russia. However, on average, the prices are quite biting. There is a lot of gold, silver, the latter is a little cheaper than ours, and the choice is great. A lot of replica Swiss watches at reasonable prices.
Smokers need to stock up: a pack of the cheapest Turkish cigarettes near the hotel costs $3, a disposable lighter $1.
Literally in 3-5 minutes with an exit to the right from the hotel towards the state. road is a nightclub. But from the Tess hotel for some reason they organize paid night trips to Alanya (!? ), you have to return by yourself approximately
for $30-40, recommended only for public taxis. The guides of various tour operators on the way told about two mythical girls who somehow went from the Tess hotel to Alanya to a disco, returned after 3 days and hurried to leave the country. Judging by some information, including from the media, it is better not to get into the Turkish police even as victims.
About excursions.
==============

First of all, it is worth mentioning the dry soldering of the Tess hotel. This is a cucumber quarter, a dirty tomato, a piece of bread, two slices of soy sausage, 3 packets of jam for tongue licking and a small peach... They gave at least a bottle of water, or something...
Excursions are divided into two broad categories: organized by tour operators and without the participation of those. It should be noted that the participation of tour operators comes down mainly to some kind of insurance, so in the same sightseeing bus you can meet people who have taken an excursion both on the street and in the hotel from the tour operator. The margin of tour operators is approximately 100%. Lists of excursions from tour operators are often without seals or are not available at all, so who sets the prices and how, one can only guess.
The most popular excursion in the Alanya region is sailing on a yacht along the coast from about 10 am to 4 pm, with lunch, swimming in the open sea and on the "phosphorus beach".
A myriad of ships ply the coastal waters. The ships are very different - from creaking longboats to luxurious yachts. The food is also different: the more solid the yacht, the food is likely to be better. If we consider that food is not the main thing, then the only criterion for choosing a ship may be a good swimming ladder and the ability to wear a life jacket (if the yacht sails away without you, it will pick up (or not? ) either another yacht, or you can slowly swim to the shore, which relatively close).
The main feature of sea trips is the uncertainty with the yacht. If you are relaxing in the city of Alania, then apparently this issue is easier. And if to Konakli, then the departure is made not from the port of Alanya, but from a no-man's (!? ) section of the beach located near Alanya: they save on the entrance fee to the port and do not circle the narrow streets. It is advisable to specify on which particular yacht you will sail. Even having received assurances, do not hope that everything will be exactly as planned (according to the stories of neighbors on the beach). If you got on a ship that you didn’t even want to look at initially, no one will return your money.

The price on a "good" yacht is $20-25 (food is delivered, animation, a good descent into the water), on a creaking longboat with a buffet - $10-15 per person. Children are free.
Excursions, and to an even greater extent - independent trips to the mountains - are fraught with dangers typical of the mountains in general and for the Arab countries in particular. A special shudder is caused by night walks in jeeps in the mountains. Nevertheless, those wishing to try their luck, especially among Russians, are sure to be found.
. . . About Tess Hotel. . .
===================
It should be noted right away that excuses like "What did you want from 3*? " inappropriate.
Firstly, the star rating of a hotel in Turkey is sometimes a vague concept.
Secondly, tour operators "serve" the Tess hotel, "where-how" and "someone-how": someone passes it off as a 3 * hotel, someone for 3 * + (it is not clear what "+" is), there even ratings "4 *" (Voronezh). In the Tess hotel itself, "stardom" is somehow veiled, although many hotels flaunt their stars next to the name, on the facade of the hotel.
Thirdly, it must be taken into account that people going to 3 * agree in advance to endure certain inconveniences, which is explained by their modest financial situation. This includes food, which sometimes has nothing to complain about, and the lack of animation (which not everyone needs), lack of territory, a refrigerator in the room,
shortcomings of the beach, etc. However, taking all this for granted, a person still has the right to count on a normal attitude towards himself, on the cleanliness of the premises and the absence of rudeness.
As you know, the hotel discussed here has changed its name and owners more than once. The penultimate name is "Sahara". After reading the reviews on "Sahara"
and having visited "Tess", you are convinced that little has changed since those times. Needless to say, the recent renovations are noticeable. However, some curiosities immediately attract attention: here is a shower, for example. Where to put soap? Under your feet. On the first floor, water goes into the drain hole, as they say, a teaspoon per hour, apparently, the pipes are clogged.

I must say that we got to "Tess" solely for reasons of overcrowding in other hotels of a similar price category. Negative reviews were read, but in 2010 there were LAVE reviews left in June. From an objective standpoint, it must be admitted that "Tess" is a purely Turkish hotel, in the sense that the percentage ratio in it is approximately the following: 65-75% of Turks, 20% of Russians, the rest are Romanians, a few Germans and others. Turks come to the hotel, as a rule, with families, where you can see old women, children, and teenagers. There are even German Turks.
There are so few Russians that soon almost everyone gets to know each other and discuss the rest. The main contingent of Russians are calm family people of average income, a few young people. There are no new Russians and brawlers in sight.
Resting Turks behave indifferently towards the Russians, without malice, as if they do not notice.
But in general, the general situation is depressing in that:
1) the pool is crowded not only with Turkish children, but with numerous adults. On both sides, at the ends of the pool, gates for water games are provided especially for "athletes". The children's pool is completely separate, but the terrible thing is that it is located just opposite the goals for scoring "goals". Balls often with terrible force sweep over the heads of children in centimeters. Half of the pool is occupied by desperate games and going down the hill, so there is nowhere to swim... The smell of either bleach, or some modification of it, hits your nose quite strongly (how you can play polo is incomprehensible). In general, the pool is clean, but the pool is unpleasant for knowledgeable people. There is no question of any pool access to the bar
(dream about chairs! about islands! ). Not everyone has enough sun loungers by the pool, and the Turks (and maybe not only them) leave towels for the night, reserving their seats. "Plus of the pool": next to the pool there are two showers, made in an exotic style.
2) in fact, the pool and sun loungers around it - this is the main territory of the Tess hotel. If you want to use the elevator, you have to squeeze through the sunbeds and touch the legs of the vacationers, passing by the pool. In the evening and early in the morning a little freer, since there are no "legs of vacationers".

3) the hotel has 2 bars, one is near the pool, the other is on the beach. There are 2-3 chairs at the counter, which are constantly occupied by the Turks. If you take vodka in its pure form, attention is immediately concentrated on you, and this act is discussed, although it is impossible for a Russian person to understand what exactly is being discussed. A woman who takes beer or vodka evokes negativity from both the bartender and the regular Turkish regulars sitting on chairs. They may refuse to pour at all. Or say something mean. Taking several glasses at the same time is problematic. Sometimes they give out, but more often they can say something like "only two in hand. " In any case, taking more than two glasses of something from the hands of a bartender is somehow awkward, unpleasant and embarrassing, or something. Turks are not concerned. For them, there are no rules at all at the Tess Hotel. The myth that Turkish men do not drink alcohol (women are only seen smoking) turned out to be a myth indeed. The only thing that has never been seen in the hands of the Turks is vodka without dilution. Some Turks (it’s hard to say exactly which ones and why) are even poured water into crystal glasses (there was such a case: the bartender, seeing that a Turk was pouring water from a faucet, jumped and obligingly replaced an ordinary glass goblet with a crystal one). In any case, if the glasses are nearing the end, you, as a Russian, will be given a plastic one, and a Turk - a glass one. If the ice is running out, they will never put ice (there is actually not enough ice) in a glass, but they will put it to a Turk standing next to you. The beer tastes quite tart (Efes), about 5% (not 4%, that's for sure). You can always pour 2 types of dry wine from a barrel with taps on your own (this is a plus! ), but for some reason it affects
not like our Russian, but much cooler. You can give an estimate - about 12% alc. , hardly less. Two types of strong - just vodka and vodka "Crayfish" (aniseed, not for everybody). In general, all this vodka is not bad, it doesn’t hurt your head, and you won’t drink much (see below). Mixed with wine or beer, vodka gives a deafening, quick-cutting effect, especially when tired. From soft drinks there is Pepsi, Sprite, rarely and little - Pepsi Light, not always there is mineral water (soda), lemon soda. You can always pour a chilled "yuppie" - bottled water plus powder, four types (colors).
A big plus - always available coffee (from the machine), hot chocolate, espresso, cappuccino. The promised (on the hotel website) ayran is not available, unfortunately. There are vending machines with tea (black, pawn packages). Unfortunately, all these machines are turned off at night. But the rest of the tea in the middle of the night you can drink if someone is awake. There is always chilled water in tanks with taps (poured from bottles). It is unpleasant when in the evening at the bar on the beach (it is far from the hotel) a party of some local brothers begins, they completely take places at the counter, and despite the absence of bracelets, they pour them faster and more, saving on us. In general, if we talk about vodka, the average dose of infusion for Russians is about 20-30 grams. At the request to top up at least up to 50 grams, they look askance. They can top up if they "like" you, or they can switch to another client and ignore it. If you take vodka with
5) Animation. . . As far as it can be understood, there are 2 animators and another "someone at the laptop" who controls the music. The first animator is a guy from Tbilisi named Otarik, quite sociable, friendly and loyal to the Russian public, fluent in Russian. He held the so-called children's disco. The second animator speaks Russian poorly; only once did he show himself in full - he showed a fire show and lay down on broken glass with a load in the form of two girls. In addition to the fire show, there was an evening of Turkish dances - an ensemble came, it was beautiful, one cannot fail to pay tribute. Among the dancers was at least one Russian boy. A couple of times there were competitions in which young people (Russians, Germans) participated. I remember the belly dances performed by Russian girls surprisingly well and a cool competition with the clatter of ladles on the pan for a while. There were days when the animators generally rested, apparently outside the hotel, and days when, in addition to the children's disco, there was only a call to go to a night disco in Alanya. Promised on the website of the children's miniclub, ie. there was no organized work with children at all (or is it a children's disco at 21:00??? ).

6) hotel staff, with the exception of the animator Otarik - this is something !! ! Firstly, the impression is that they are a little deaf,
postpovaty, especially in relation to Russian tourists. We must immediately make a reservation that he does not understand a word in Russian at all:
a) all cleaners, including those in the dining room;
b) a gardener;
c) all cooks and food distributors.
The composition of the hotel's few staff (not including cooks/distributors) is roughly as follows:
a) a pair of commanding, intelligent "chief" managers, so distant and unapproachable that it is even somehow awkward and embarrassing to approach them. They decide, apparently, the most global issues of the existence of the hotel. In one of the reviews, someone "custom" wrote that even the owner of the hotel himself approaches almost everyone from time to time and asks, listens to the wish - complete nonsense, complete disregard for the local proud mentality.
b) at the reception - one Russian-speaking young man, possibly not a Turk, another very weakly speaking and not speaking Russian boy in uniform. It seems that the whole trinity is absolutely permanent.
c) attendants / massage therapists. the chief bath attendant (manager) is a rather friendly pier. people who speak Russian with almost no accent.
In principle, the group of attendants is quite professional (according to conversations with neighbors on the beach). A full massage of everything and everything (with oils) costs $20 ($50 in 5*). Somewhere nearby in another hotel there is a simplified hourly (! ) massage without drugs for $5.
d) one or two cleaners (! ) in the main building and one (exactly one) - in a villa by the sea. The bed is not changed at all.
e) one single "technical specialist" - does not speak Russian. He does everything - repairs equipment (you won’t call, CONDITION - PRESENCE IN THE ROOM (? )), cleans the pool in the morning, etc. etc.
FOOD AT THE HOTEL TESS -
=======================

The basis of proteins is chicken, soy, scrambled eggs in the morning. Once there was a fried turkey, a huge queue lined up behind the scraper. Chicken fried and overcooked (half-burned on baking sheets, made on the street). Once there was mackerel. Lines for everything - for mashed potatoes (once), for scrambled eggs (always in the morning), etc. There are a lot of different greens (lettuce, parsley, dill, etc. ). Previously unselected tomatoes were fried with cheese. During the day and in the evening, soups, typical of Arab hotels, are made from pureed (or second-hand? ) food material. Sweet - something like jelly, but on a starch basis, in different colors, sometimes on a hard substrate, similar to a cake. Microbuns. Lots of different types of bread. In the morning - halves of sausages (terrible, there is 0 meat in them, can be recommended for prisoners, but not for vacationers), soy sausage - reddish and white (white, by the way, is more appetizing, oddly enough, what is it made of? ). There is always an unlimited supply of Suluguni-type cheese, butter, honey, two or three types of sauces, and, of course, olives.
Some not very appetizing snacks of champignons, beans and something else - oriental food, the Turks gain it all in huge portions. Soy patties are constantly on the menu, the taste is terrible, but for some reason the children eat. In principle, you won’t stay hungry, but you have to make up for the lack of protein with bakery products, so those who have weight problems should think about a diet after rest.
By the way, on the beach in a special hut, twice a day, a woman bakes double pancakes of thin rolling with a filling in the form of greens, pieces of mushrooms, etc. The line for these pancakes is endless. Turks - a whole pancake, Russians and the rest - half a pancake each (a trifle, but unpleasant, especially if you sit in a hut with a firebox for half an hour, waiting for your turn).
By the pool once a day - pastries. Rolls with soy cutlets (hamburgers) do not cause much interest, but the national cakes from the oven are quite tasty, they are snapped up. As it turned out later, they should be cut along the end and put oil for impregnation, put vegetables inside. I must say that they bring scanty little vegetables to the cakes (1 plate per hundred people). But oil for cakes, fortunately, is in abundance. A lot of watermelons every day, about once every three days - melons. Once there were apples, once or twice plums. Once or twice - sliced ​ ​ ​ ​ oranges and grapefruits. All this (except watermelons) is instantly snapped up.
Children can take rice porridge with milk or cereal with hot milk. There is no mention of semolina, oatmeal too.
Rooms. . .
=========

This is the main and intractable shortcoming of the hotel. Firstly, what is most outrageous is that they try to put children simply on a mattress, which is placed directly on the tiled floor. After ordeals, not everyone manages to find a mattress pad. Russian-speaking Germans had a rest - their child slept on the floor (by the way, they paid 2700 euros for "2 + 1 child" !!! ). In the rooms, in fact 2-bed rooms, where families of the "parents + 1 child" type are mainly accommodated, it becomes very crowded, the child's bed adjoins (otherwise it will not work) to the parents' bed. There are also more spacious rooms, but they are given mainly to the Turks, who have large families, and it is difficult to say how they are accommodated with all generations. Some of the rooms are very bad in location -
whose windows overlook the fire-breathing roof (on both sides of building A). In the rooms located directly above the roof of the reception, among other things, the cries of the mullah are heard especially clearly at about half past 5 am (! ), the sound goes unhindered to these rooms, the minaret tower is in the line of sight with numerous horns connected to a powerful amplifier . It is impossible not to wake up, even rustles are heard
microphone and AC hum from interference. The singing continues for several minutes.
The placement of Russians can take several hours, or even a whole day, the Turks and Germans settle instantly. If you give "on the paw" $ 10 can settle faster, but often with subsequent relocation to better conditions. Few people liked living in the so-called "villa on the beach", despite the proximity of the beach, two girls fled from there after they lost some clothes (! ), and at night local youth began to break into their room
(judging by the reviews on the Internet, usually in hotels they steal all sorts of by no means new clothes, socks, they will not seriously deal with this loss, of course, they told the girls - we don’t believe you !! ! The question is why they steal? It’s clear that the skirt or the bra will most likely be thrown away. They steal it just to spoil the mood so that they don’t come next time).
The main thing for the so-called villa is an absolutely unhindered entrance, anyone can enter from the street, there is no security. And they don't clean the rooms at all. You have to specially go for towels and get them for half a day. The dirt is terrible. The toilet on the beach belongs to the same villa, it is clean only in the morning. By evening, the dirt becomes like in the municipal toilet of the regional bus station. In the women's toilet, the toilet sways, the lock is broken. Mountains of dirty dishes accumulate from midday and lie on the windowsill of the villa's idle kitchen until the next dinner.
===The owners save on staff===

By the way, the pool is the same, leftover food, plates and ashtrays are not removed for a long time, apparently they simply do not have time.
The fact that the telephone does not work in the room, the curtains fall - these are examples of trifles that are better to come to terms with, otherwise you will have to wait all day for the only "fixer", which was mentioned earlier. Local regulations require you to stay in the room while troubleshooting is in progress. The average number of reminders that they already say "how long can I wait? " at the reception - 3-5 times.
What can be said in the end?
If we count the money for the rest and evaluate the effectiveness of their investment in the rest at the Tess hotel, estimate what the ratio of positive and negative emotions is, this hotel can only wish to seriously reconsider its policy or stop serving Russian tourists altogether. It is worth recalling that it is in this hotel that the Russians behave surprisingly meekly and meekly. Tour operators should supply people with truthful
information, no need to lie about Wi-Fi (it was on some sites about Tess), a children's miniclub and so on, otherwise someone will complain in a serious way.
As for rave reviews on the internet, treat them with some skepticism, especially if these reviews appear at the beginning of the season. Be sure to check out last year's reviews.
So far, the overall rating of the hotel - "two".
The tour operator S7 TOUR receives a rating of "two" for two reasons:
1) In total, it was the fault of the tour operator that a whole day was lost: instead of those stated in the ticket, the departure from Russia was shifted 5 hours ahead
with the transfer of the flight and aircraft; the same thing - departure from Turkey - only shifted the other way around 6 hours ago (! ). Bus journey from the airport
To Konakli took almost 3 hours!!!
2) The work of a guide at the hotel: he did not give his mobile phone number, which may be required in an emergency,
did not provide a list of excursions (only oral conversation, mark-up for all excursions is approximately 100%),

the guide never helped in anything, neither with resettlement, nor with anything.