Только ни в этот отель!!!! Not to this hotel!

We were met by a porter, of Uzbek nationality and a nimble porter who tried to squeeze my passport with a bill enclosed there, but I figured out who is who here, the porter received his $ 10 and settled on the most prestigious in Turkey, 4th floor.
The porter led us to the futuristic looking like transparent capsules elevators. The ventilation buttons, unfortunately, do not work in elevators. After examining the room overlooking the sea, checking the operation of the taps, shower, flush, light, he still got his coveted dollar, and immediately disappeared.
After unpacking and turning on the laptop, I find 2 WiFi networks, Asrin 1 stick in the room and Long Beashc 4 sticks. But all require a password. There are no remotes from the split and from the TV set. I go down to the reception, where I find out that the consoles are $5 as a deposit, and free internet costs $5. I give 10$. And I become the happy owner of the password for Wi-Fi and the remote control from the Split system. (who needs passwords, in PM)

We managed to have dinner that day, fed well, the cuisine is more like European, only in all! ! ! dishes have Zira (cumin), I myself throw it only in pilaf or manti.
There are no complaints about food, the usual for Turkey limited meat and an abundance of chicken and vegetables. They didn’t particularly indulge in fruits, but every day there were oranges, from which I squeezed juice for the child.
In the evening they sometimes made kebabs and pancakes. In the main restaurant, there is always chilled wine from a barrel, though only chilled red. It’s possible until the manager sees it, pick up a half-shelf, for the evening, though you need to add more sugar there, and vodka to fix it  but this is not for everybody.
A convenient underground passage leads to the beach directly to the cafe. Where you can always take a glass of cold beer (by the way, not bad, better than in Sheksna-Sochi), you can also ask for local analogues of sprite cola. And the fact that you can’t drink in self-service vending machines is poison.
Also, at the beach cafe they give very healthy french fries, with very nutritious mayonnaise that you pour from a plastic bottle, or ketchup from the same one. Also cool fish cakes with beer…
With food, no problems only until 22, you don’t have nightly dinners like in Egypt. All inclusive is valid until 23-00 and then somehow ends abruptly, so much so that there is nowhere to drink some water, just around the corner in a shop for $ 3 a liter. Tugan is traditionally served with soda in Turkey. Alcoholic beverages release 2 glasses into hands at a time. The bartenders are all different, there are normal ones who don’t feel sorry for leaving the same dollar, but there are freaks who pour on the bottom, then pour into another glass and demand another glass until you get at least half a glass in one, and you do it ...demonstratively, so that he I realized that the Russians, after all, at least need to pour half a glass.
Naturally drunken Russian faces appear in the evening a lot.

But you won't get too drunk with this kind of pouring. Although Nizhny Tagil taxied at night, a couple of times, and we distinguished ourselves somehow, the manager was drowned for turning everything off 3 minutes earlier, they threatened him with Stalingrad, and he gave a bucket of ice and ran away.
In the evenings there was a cool animation, the same animators who during the day exercised the people at ease, either with water aerobics or with a water floor, put on funny scenes at the theater behind the pool. They didn’t hear about a hookah in this hotel, but a good hammam is about $ 20, there is no need to go somewhere.
Pool and slides. Well, the first time I visited Turkey, I did not see the sea for three days, I lived near the pool, or rather I followed the child rolling down the hills. This time the child has matured a little, but still the main criterion for choosing a hotel was the slides. Gorki justified themselves. The child selflessly set a world record for the number of slides down the hill in one day. He LOVED it! ! !
The sea and the beach were not particularly impressive. The sea is like the sea, a little cleaner than black, but there are sea urchins, beautiful fish come across, but not on this beach. Here, the entire fauna was poisoned by the neighboring water park with its discharges. By the way, we never went there, looked at the neighbors, on the video camera, and thought that everything was the same in Lazarevsky. Even at home, with Google, I looked after a stone cape next to the beach, I thought about diving, I took snorkeling equipment with me. I dived for a couple of days and realized that this was not the Red Sea, where it was impossible to drive me out of the water for hours.
As for the room, I don’t know if I was lucky or not, in the morning the owner’s favorite roosters declared themselves, because the room was overlooking the sea, but standing on the balcony you could watch how smoothly and saving gasoline the cars move in Turkey.
The rooms overlooking the pool had a happy opportunity to listen until 24 o'clock as "nizhniy tagilrulit", and at 06:15 the muezzin reminded of the morning prayer at least 3 rokat.

Departure.

Satisfied with a calm, family vacation, in the evening I went to the reception, handed over the consoles, got my bucks back and ordered lunch packages for the morning ...How disappointed I was, by the greed of the owner of the Asrin hotel, because it is unlikely that he does NOT know about the composition of the homeless package . It included a thirsty, dried-out cucumber, a bun that had become stale last year and in some places beaten against the wall, something dried up with a dirty brown plate in a plastic box ...and that’s all,
oh yes napkin!! ! !
- Wipe your Russian, leaving, leave! ate and drank a lot...
It’s good that we ourselves froze some water in advance.
It's strange, couldn't they put a banana, an orange-tangerine, and an apple? After all, no one demands to go there, so ardently guarded by the Turks of meat.
They flew out, as they flew in from Antalya-2 airport, unlike Antalya-1 (for Europeans), it was not burdened with duty-free shops, something similar to the Volgograd Selposhny dyutik with inflated prices. Although we still managed to drink tea for 12 greens for three, it would not be enough to overeat with beach bags.

In general, I liked the rest, next year, the child will grow up, and another criterion for finding a hotel will be ALL ++ so that you can eat at night, so that drinks are more varied, and so that in an agricultural country, fruits are given in the dining room! ! ! and not for the loot in the fruit tent behind the hotel.
And better to Egypt, the Turks most likely just snickering: ).