Отель для непьющих вегетарианцев Hotel for non-drinking vegetarians

First of all, I will say that I am an undemanding tourist, I can easily live in a bungalow without air conditioning and eat in street eateries for locals. On tours I go only to Turkey and Egypt, to other countries - on my own. And in Egypt it was even in 3+. Heading to a decent (judging by the reviews) Turkish foursome, we didn’t even think about buying alcohol in a dutik - local booze in Turkey is decent, why carry bottles...
So, we flew in... We met, while they were taking us to Kemer, we were positively charged, Anex is great, there is nothing to say, many thanks to them, but the review is not about them, but about the hotel.
Astoria's location is excellent, though hard to find at check-in, buses often fail to find it. 5 minutes to the sea along the street with flowers and lemon trees and the same 3-5 minutes to the very center - the clock tower. Since we arrived at the very beginning of the season and the hotel was half empty, we got a triple room for two, which could not but rejoice. Although, since it was a corner one, we shared a balcony with another room through a lattice - you can’t leave it open, suddenly the neighbors will climb in. It is also worth noting the hammam in the hotel (the estate of Comrade Ira), where we went immediately on the first day, it is clean, smells good and the masseur seems to be nothing. Of course, you won’t get a medical massage there, but they will provide relaxation. Of the good distinguishing features of the hotel - a sane reception and security - the staff hears you and, as far as possible, solve all your requests. This is where all the charms end.

Food - for 10 days there was meat 1 time, chicken - 5 times for lunch. There was never fish or seafood. But almost always there were the most disgusting soy patties, which even the local dog did not eat. I didn’t even see this in the Egyptian trio: the choice of hot dishes for lunch and dinner was a maximum of 2 - one of them was cutlets, and the second was either fried eggplant or pasta. Potato wedges - a dish that seems impossible to spoil, here it was simply inedible. But there were always from 3 types of olives (to the delight of those who love them), a lot of salads. By the way, there was never a kefir dressing for them. For breakfast, the egg assortment was limited to hard-boiled eggs, which ended happily by the beginning of the ninth morning. And in general, the food restriction was fantastic - strawberries, which were for dinner a day or two later, were given 6 berries each, and already 20 minutes after the start of dinner they were gone. Despite the fact that the local market was just littered with fruit, the hotel had only apples and oranges. There was never sweet for breakfast, sometimes 2-3 dubiously edible cakes were cooked for dinner. In general, those who came to eat half an hour later than the start of feeding got leftovers that no one thought to replenish.
Drinking is a different story. There is a suspicion that the All Inclusive system of this hotel contains 100 ml of booze per person per day. Because gin and tonic is a 100 ml glass with three pieces of ice sprinkled with gin and filled with local tonic. The wine is diluted so much that it is easier to drink than lemonade. A portion of "double raki" - two pieces of ice and 20 ml of local anise vodka =( Moreover, there is no waiter service at dinner or during the day - carry your ass every 5 minutes to the bar for a drink on your own. The funny thing is that tipping the restaurant manager and the bartenders did not improve the picture. I was sincerely surprised when I saw drunks among the guests of this hotel. Drinking is there until 22:30, but by 22 o'clock both crayfish and gin mysteriously run out. There is nothing more from strong local drinks in the bar.
Cleaning is a different story. Despite the daily change of towels stated in the hotel description, they were changed only on the 5th day, and then after the scandal. For wet, dirty and towels thrown on the floor after cleaning ended up on our beds in the form of twisted flower birds. Beach towels - stained and washed out are issued for three days, they are changed only when they no longer add up from salt. No comments.
"Free" internet in the lobby. Was. Even worked. But the code for it cost $10 =).
In general, the owner of the hotel is an obvious Jew who saves on everything that is possible and impossible. Staying at this hotel will not brighten up any good company. You will always be hungry and begging for your paid drinks.
I sincerely do not recommend this hotel to anyone, do not spoil your vacation. Enjoy the sea-sun without thinking about the essentials - because for this we go to All Inclusive tours.