Your rating of this hotel:
2.0
from 10
Hotel ratings by criteria:
Rooms:
3.0
Service:
2.0
Cleanliness:
2.0
Food:
1.0
Amenities:
2.0
HOTEL FOR MASOCISTS (smile).
Are you bored? You have nothing to do and nowhere to spend money? Does life seem monotonous to you?
Drive to the Aqua Bella Beach Hotel in Turkey. This is where the novice masochist will get complete pleasure!
Some benefits of civilization will be offered to you. Well, sorry, not without it. Full extreme is another level.
Did you stop at a gas station on your way from the airport? It takes fifteen minutes by taxi to get from the airport to the hotel, but it will take you an hour or even an hour and a half. How can you get by without visiting the store? You have to get used to the fact that everywhere and everywhere you have to pay. You need to ensure the comfortable existence of the local population for the remaining six months. You must enter into their position. For them, half a year of the season goes for a calendar year, or even for two or three. Don't be stingy! Pay and waste money! It will seem to you that everyone around you admires you. How lucky you are!
And here you are in a room with a sea view, for which you overpaid at the place of departure or already at the hotel (I would never have thought that 10-20 dollars do wonders). We overpaid $100. Suffer, suffer so much!
Do you, tired (tired) and sweaty after the flight and other road ordeals, want to take a shower? We understand you, and masochists have such quirks: take a shower, drink a cup of coffee, etc. And here it is happiness! The shower doors fall on you. You scream. . . Your husband (wife) saves you. But now you have the mark of a masochist - a huge dark red blue on your whole arm.
Further more. You find out that the balcony doors won't close and the TV doesn't work with the remote control. You go to reception and affectionately try to explain your problems. Four hours later (do not wait earlier) the master comes to your room. He hangs the shower doors on the bolts with one movement of his hand. Another movement covers the balcony. And turning on the TV with the button, he looks into it and mumbles, like Gerasim from Mu-mu, or rather, says something and makes an uncomprehending look from neither Russian nor English.
Realizing that this master will not be able to help you, you let him go. In a moment's pause, you now pretend that you don't understand that you have to tip him. For what? Now you do not touch the door of the shower cabin so that it does not break and leave more serious marks from cuts. The balcony door does not close and it is not necessary - it is still hot. And the TV? Yes, and figs with him! Let's take a break from this box.
Looking at the amazing sea and breathing in fresh air, you go down to the dining room. It is very, very difficult to call this place a restaurant, but it has not yet fallen to the level of a railway station pie shop. The hall is full of people, Some ran to the fruit, others to the meat. Everyone is pushing. The fight is justified. The last one lacks plums, only oranges, which are carried out for a week rather as a table decoration or a dummy, since these almost dry fruits cannot be called a food product. Meat is more difficult. He is missing the first one. They splash with a huge spoon in a container of liquid and try to catch a piece of meat. It's a pity not in a bucket and not in a vat it is necessary to find meat! But everything that happens is like a show.
You have to stand in line for a long time. Involuntarily, a conversation begins: “Today is not what it was today. Did you have watermelon last week? And in a nearby hotel, they say, they even still give melons, grapes, watermelons, plums, apples, oranges. And there are no queues. ”
Then one wonders why we - masochists - should go to another hotel. No. We don't want to go there. We take a half-washed plate, sticky cutlery, put on the leftovers from the previous race, and sit down at a dirty table. Of course, there are napkins on the table, but they have not been changed for a week, but only sometimes turn over. We are pleased with the greasy spots on it.
Would you like to drink a glass of wine at dinner? Understand. I also sometimes have this desire. There are glasses in the dining room, but there are six of them, you may not be enough, you will have to drink from a glass, well, if not from plastic. But are you picky? Yes, and the wine will be so-so. What do you want? This is not a five star hotel! Digressing from the topic, I’ll say that in a five-star all-inclusive hotel they also pour cheap wine.
But back to our wonderful hotel "Aqua Bella Beach"
Having stuffed your stomach with the same food from day to day, washed down with something you don't understand, you go to the sea. There are sun loungers on the coast, but you have to work hard to bring them. Tea, not kings! No one was going to take care of you here.
Near the beach you can see a tennis table. It has been standing since the 70s of the last century. The uneven surface of the table and wooden paddles (they cannot be called rackets) will give sufferers an unforgettable experience of the game.
Did you swim? Do you want something to drink? Go to the bar. Here you will be offered various soft drinks. You can't call this a big choice. But you won't die of thirst either. Rather, you would die of frustration, having learned what and in what glasses they pour you. Sometimes I saw that they poured wine into someone's unfinished glass, and the smell of anise from Rake was always present. And did they wash the glasses? And I still can’t understand why I ask for black coffee, but they always pour me milk?
You really try to eat before 21-00 hours, and drink until 22-00. Then they will give you the same drink, but for money.
Well, the rest day is over. Oh yes. We forgot about the children's show and disco. But there is nothing to say about this. Those fifteen minutes that kids have fun and amuse their mothers is the only cultural program in this hotel. Thanks kids! I can't say that to a discojacket. He puts on the disc "Children's Disco in Turkey" and "suffers" with the children. And at the adult disco, have fun yourself. The music is blaring, but it won't let me sleep. And where does he pick up such a repertoire? Even for us masochists, it's hard to listen.
There is no Internet. This is the first time I've encountered this. It seemed to me that Wi-Fi is available in all, even the cheapest hotels.
Or maybe I'm seeing double? And this hotel is only two stars?
You go, if you return unharmed and do not die there from poisoning or boredom, tell me.
P. S. I hope that you accepted the word "masochism" with irony, and the story - as a story about wasted time and money.
Are you bored? You have nothing to do and nowhere to spend money? Does life seem monotonous to you?
Drive to the Aqua Bella Beach Hotel in Turkey. This is where the novice masochist will get complete pleasure!
Some benefits of civilization will be offered to you. Well, sorry, not without it. Full extreme is another level.
Did you stop at a gas station on your way from the airport? It takes fifteen minutes by taxi to get from the airport to the hotel, but it will take you an hour or even an hour and a half. How can you get by without visiting the store? You have to get used to the fact that everywhere and everywhere you have to pay. You need to ensure the comfortable existence of the local population for the remaining six months. You must enter into their position. For them, half a year of the season goes for a calendar year, or even for two or three. Don't be stingy! Pay and waste money! It will seem to you that everyone around you admires you. How lucky you are!
And here you are in a room with a sea view, for which you overpaid at the place of departure or already at the hotel (I would never have thought that 10-20 dollars do wonders). We overpaid $100. Suffer, suffer so much!
Do you, tired (tired) and sweaty after the flight and other road ordeals, want to take a shower? We understand you, and masochists have such quirks: take a shower, drink a cup of coffee, etc. And here it is happiness! The shower doors fall on you. You scream. . . Your husband (wife) saves you. But now you have the mark of a masochist - a huge dark red blue on your whole arm.
Further more. You find out that the balcony doors won't close and the TV doesn't work with the remote control. You go to reception and affectionately try to explain your problems. Four hours later (do not wait earlier) the master comes to your room. He hangs the shower doors on the bolts with one movement of his hand. Another movement covers the balcony. And turning on the TV with the button, he looks into it and mumbles, like Gerasim from Mu-mu, or rather, says something and makes an uncomprehending look from neither Russian nor English.
Realizing that this master will not be able to help you, you let him go. In a moment's pause, you now pretend that you don't understand that you have to tip him. For what? Now you do not touch the door of the shower cabin so that it does not break and leave more serious marks from cuts. The balcony door does not close and it is not necessary - it is still hot. And the TV? Yes, and figs with him! Let's take a break from this box.
Looking at the amazing sea and breathing in fresh air, you go down to the dining room. It is very, very difficult to call this place a restaurant, but it has not yet fallen to the level of a railway station pie shop. The hall is full of people, Some ran to the fruit, others to the meat. Everyone is pushing. The fight is justified. The last one lacks plums, only oranges, which are carried out for a week rather as a table decoration or a dummy, since these almost dry fruits cannot be called a food product. Meat is more difficult. He is missing the first one. They splash with a huge spoon in a container of liquid and try to catch a piece of meat. It's a pity not in a bucket and not in a vat it is necessary to find meat! But everything that happens is like a show.
You have to stand in line for a long time. Involuntarily, a conversation begins: “Today is not what it was today. Did you have watermelon last week? And in a nearby hotel, they say, they even still give melons, grapes, watermelons, plums, apples, oranges. And there are no queues. ”
Then one wonders why we - masochists - should go to another hotel. No. We don't want to go there. We take a half-washed plate, sticky cutlery, put on the leftovers from the previous race, and sit down at a dirty table. Of course, there are napkins on the table, but they have not been changed for a week, but only sometimes turn over. We are pleased with the greasy spots on it.
Would you like to drink a glass of wine at dinner? Understand. I also sometimes have this desire. There are glasses in the dining room, but there are six of them, you may not be enough, you will have to drink from a glass, well, if not from plastic. But are you picky? Yes, and the wine will be so-so. What do you want? This is not a five star hotel! Digressing from the topic, I’ll say that in a five-star all-inclusive hotel they also pour cheap wine.
But back to our wonderful hotel "Aqua Bella Beach"
Having stuffed your stomach with the same food from day to day, washed down with something you don't understand, you go to the sea. There are sun loungers on the coast, but you have to work hard to bring them. Tea, not kings! No one was going to take care of you here.
Near the beach you can see a tennis table. It has been standing since the 70s of the last century. The uneven surface of the table and wooden paddles (they cannot be called rackets) will give sufferers an unforgettable experience of the game.
Did you swim? Do you want something to drink? Go to the bar. Here you will be offered various soft drinks. You can't call this a big choice. But you won't die of thirst either. Rather, you would die of frustration, having learned what and in what glasses they pour you. Sometimes I saw that they poured wine into someone's unfinished glass, and the smell of anise from Rake was always present. And did they wash the glasses? And I still can’t understand why I ask for black coffee, but they always pour me milk?
You really try to eat before 21-00 hours, and drink until 22-00. Then they will give you the same drink, but for money.
Well, the rest day is over. Oh yes. We forgot about the children's show and disco. But there is nothing to say about this. Those fifteen minutes that kids have fun and amuse their mothers is the only cultural program in this hotel. Thanks kids! I can't say that to a discojacket. He puts on the disc "Children's Disco in Turkey" and "suffers" with the children. And at the adult disco, have fun yourself. The music is blaring, but it won't let me sleep. And where does he pick up such a repertoire? Even for us masochists, it's hard to listen.
There is no Internet. This is the first time I've encountered this. It seemed to me that Wi-Fi is available in all, even the cheapest hotels.
Or maybe I'm seeing double? And this hotel is only two stars?
You go, if you return unharmed and do not die there from poisoning or boredom, tell me.
P. S. I hope that you accepted the word "masochism" with irony, and the story - as a story about wasted time and money.
Translated automatically from Russian. View original
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OTHER REVIEWS ABOUT THE HOTEL
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