"Назад в СССР" "Back to USSR"

Ladies and gentlemen! Allow me to share with you the impression of my "wonderful vacation". I lived in the 5th building, in a superior room. Of course, I won’t say that I’m picky, but I didn’t see any extra comfort there, except for a good sleeping mattress. Everything else was pretty basic: dirty curtains, gray bed linen with strange stains, a blanket in my hair and with some kind of garbage that started to fall out when I tried to put it in a duvet cover, dirty rugs near the bed, a fungus in the bathroom, working through time drain in the toilet, and of course - water by the hour, in the morning from 06:00 to 08:00, but it was turned on only for an hour from 6 to 7, and in the evening from 21:00 to 23:00 the water was at room temperature and take a shower I didn’t want to at all, because I was afraid to freeze, because it was cold in the room. But all this really turned out to be conditions of increased comfort compared to what I heard and saw: in the 4th building there lived unfortunate and screwed up people who could not go to a scandal and refuse such a place (high humidity and dampness, mice just walk around corridors and sometimes look into your room), in the 2nd building it is very damp and cold, not a single ray of light gets in, people spent the whole day on the street - they warmed themselves, but in the 6th, of course, everything was simple and tasteful - collapsing beds, floor falling through and creaking underfoot, wallpaper from 1980 (this is so, approximately), fungus in the bathroom (sorry to repeat), bathtub is a faucet with a shower hose and a drain in the floor, a cracked toilet. Next, I want to tell you about the gastronomic details. I ate buffet. The food was varied: meatballs (meat-flavored, mainly porridge), steamed meatballs (meat-flavored, porridge), chicken burgers (chicken-flavoured, porridge), fish patties (fish-flavored, porridge added). porridge), gray mashed potatoes with black spots, several types of porridge (you can eat), of course, carrots, cabbage, beets and tomatoes were in unlimited quantities. In general, I ate milk porridge (if you add a piece of butter and a spoonful of sugar it was delicious), pea soup and pancakes (if you had time). Kefir made a special impression on me, to the remark that today is the last date for the sale of a fermented milk product and it cannot be consumed, the answer was received: "So what? Who told you that? Don't drink! ", Curtain!! ! Of course, the dishes did not leave me indifferent - dirty and chipped in places, chipped, cups with broken handles, greasy spoons. Well, now let's move on to the treatment process: massage - just patted on the back, inhalations - to go through a 5-minute procedure, you need to sit in line for at least 1.5 hours (2 inhalers are available), baths - there was no water, then someone went without a queue (although everyone had their own time), herbal tea - was transparent almost like water, microclysters (sorry for the intimate details) - were made from chamomile, although the instructions had an impressive list of herbs. Brief description of therapeutic swimming: it is unrealistically cold in the locker room, that is, you will learn how to undress and dress like in the army "while the match is burning", it is impossible to dry your hair with a dryer, since it is nailed close to the wall and is intended for hands, the idea of ​ ​ ​ ​ using a hairdryer was stopped due to the lack of sockets in the locker room, the toilet does not have locking devices, there are 3 cabins in the shower room (in the rest, the taps were dismantled, probably in order to save money), the water flows cool (colder than in the evening from 21:00 to 23:00), but, owning a special technique for using taps, it is possible to get warm. The pool was pleasantly clean and the water was warm. Okay, now for the good stuff. . Special thanks to the nurse of the manipulation room Olga Ivanovna, an excellent specialist (not a single bruise from injections, a minimum of pain) and just a very charming woman. It was nice to have ozocerite applications, attentive staff (good and polite girls) and a well-functioning scheme for receiving procedures. Yes, by the way, about the staff: rudeness and the feeling that they are doing you a favor is the norm for the staff of the resort. In fact, the staff of the sanatorium is, first of all, the attendants, and here each nurse pretends to be a minimum of a doctor. Moreover, on the day of the salary, all vacationers were "poor" because the staff spoke out that they would not work for such a salary. Yes, let them not work, let all those who are dissatisfied be fired and hire those who will work for such a salary and will not be rude to vacationers. After my vacation, the question arose: where does the money go? The sanatorium really "has never set foot on a repairman" and there are no signs of modern comfort. There are no plastic windows and doors anywhere (except for the entrance to the medical building), in the corridors there are chairs and armchairs from the reception room of Lenin's grandfather (he would have turned over in the mausoleum if he found out where the furniture is now), the equipment is older than my mother (during electrophoresis she was afraid to die from an electric shock, and suddenly !!! ), red carpet paths in the corridors (oh, and how many they have already seen foster ministers, city committees of the party, and now they are trampled under the feet of the unfortunate sanatorium being treated). Ladies and gentlemen, be vigilant and do not go to the Berezovsky Mineral Waters sanatorium, even if it is a ticket from social security. Be healthy!