Отдых "у бабушки в деревне" Rest "at the grandmother's in the village"

My friend and I chose where to spend the long-awaited vacation, so as not to go broke, but not just to feed mosquitoes by the river. On Pokupon, they looked at possible options for hotels in Transcarpathia. But either the price did not suit, or all the places were already taken. And then we came across photos of the Admiral, with his two pools, jacuzzi, archery, two meals a day... in general, the administration got through, agreed on dates and payment. "Hurrah! Let's have a rest like people! " - we thought and began to wait for the cherished date.
A trip from Lviv to Slavske deserves a separate story, but this is not about that now. Leaving the train at the station in Slavske, we decided to check with the administrator how best to get to the hotel. "Taxi" - the girl advised us. Do you know how much a taxi costs? 80 UAH for 2.5 km on a beautiful asphalt road (August 2017). For some, not money, but we thought it was expensive. Many hotels send special free transport for their clients, so that they arrive in comfort at the place of settlement. Here you can only kindly order a taxi, which, of course, you will pay for yourself.
When we got to our destination, we immediately noticed the pool. The long-awaited outdoor pool with cool water. Well, in theory, of course. Because in practice it was a shallow concreted hole, half filled with muddy water. After listening to a long list of duties and restrictions from the receptionist as a welcome word, we asked what happened to the pool. “They will lower it now, clean it and fill it with clean water. Tomorrow you can swim, ” the administrator promised us.

After paying for the room, filling out all the necessary paperwork, we finally received the key. Double room on the 4th floor, "birdhouse". A small room, from the furniture here: a hanger, a mirror, a table, two stools, a TV shelf, two beds, a bedside table and a hole in the wall imitating a closet. The bath is small and cramped, the heated towel rail is designed for 2 small towels maximum, so you can dry your bath wherever you want. The shower is so narrow that when you enter it and close the door behind you, you feel awkward, you can’t even put your hand behind your back normally without hitting your elbow.
The window in the room is not hung with anything. Until noon, nothing, and after the sun bakes directly into the room, warming it up to impossibility (there is no air conditioning).
The food is very good, delicious. Portions are big. Our price included breakfast and dinner, but you could also order lunch (prices are average). But the bar is expensive.
The next day we decided to go to the pool (which is internal). Equipped with hats (how could it be otherwise? After all, here at every corner you will be reminded that this is a mandatory attribute, no pool without a hat! ), We went down to the pool through the second floor. The sharp smell of chlorine immediately hit my nose. Well, what can you do, you have to somehow clean the water. And what do we see? A "mermaid" of 12 years old with long flowing hair floats imposingly through the entire pool. at our bewildered glances, her grandmother spread her hands: "She doesn't like wearing a hat. " It's that simple. It turns out that we can break the rules, based on our whims. And all the visitors don't care, they swim, they don't complain. In general, they looked askance at us, because we were the only ones who came in hats. Well, well . . By the way, the jacuzzi, it turns out, is the "appendix" of the pool, where uncontrolled sweat of air hits you from the floor. What is there and how to massage for me remained a mystery.
In short, the external pool was never filled during our entire stay (and we asked about it with such regularity that at the end of the shift the administrator's eye began to twitch nervously at the sight of my girlfriend and me), and the internal one fell into disrepair the very next day, covered with hair and acquiring the characteristic smell of a dog (the water in it is not constantly filtered, but collected once a week. On Mondays, the whole thing descends and is recruited again).

From entertainment, you can order yourself an hour of archery, billiards or table tennis every day. But! Be careful, the equipment there has seen the signs, but if it breaks in your hands, then you will pay for it (there was a case).
Wi-Fi does not catch on all floors, it does not finish the rooms at all. If you want to watch a movie, you will have to go to the common room and be patient.
Near the hotel there is a river, but very shallow and cold. There is a place in it where, having got used to it, in general, you can plunge up to your neck, but there is a queue. The beaches are wild. Literally. Look under your feet, otherwise, as it was with us, you can earn a burn without noticing the hogweed.
As a result, our entire week-long vacation at the spa hotel ended with two trips to the warm pool and a lot of unpleasant experiences. There is nothing to entertain yourself with, around the same otali, but private houses, as in an ordinary village. A beautiful view outside the window is not worth that kind of money.